


Return of the Wolf

by firstbreathaftercoma



Series: Wolf's Song Saga [1]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: Angst, Bad Wolf, Character Death, Evil, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Pete's World, Psychological Torture, Relationship(s), Stockholm Syndrome, Torture
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-12
Updated: 2017-02-12
Packaged: 2018-09-23 21:43:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 36
Words: 90,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9679991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/firstbreathaftercoma/pseuds/firstbreathaftercoma
Summary: Rose Tyler, once the Defender of Earth, now a prisoner of Torchwood. The man she loved is gone, her family dead. Now she is being tortured until she gives in to the demands of the new Director. With the help of Bad Wolf, Rose hopes to escape her hell and return to her universe. But how will she get home? Can she escape? Can she forgive the Doctor for the nightmare he left her in?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This series is titled Wolf's Song Saga. All credit goes to Lady_Inari! Thank you so much.

Rose cried out in pain as the electric currents ran through her body. All she wanted was to black out. She needed to escape. But the damage wasn't enough. It wasn't enough to kill her. She only healed when she died. And they'd stopped killing her recently. Now the test was to see how fast she healed. How long she could take the pain. She was reaching her breaking point. Tears streamed down her face as her body convulsed. The current stopped but the convulsions continued.

"Are you ready to give in now sweetheart? All you have to do is surrender to me. It will all stop. I can stop them from testing you." It was the dreaded voice of the evil man whom she'd come to hate. Despite his beautiful face, there was nothing but darkness inside of him.

He leaned over her with a happy smile on his face. "Come on love. You can give in now. I will protect you."

Rose stayed still for a moment and then spat in his face. He wiped it off in disgust and backhanded her. It hurt but that pain was nothing compared to the other tortures she'd been subjected to.

He looked away from her and towards the technician. "Again."

The terrible pain was back. She prayed she would black out soon. _Please. Please God. Let it stop. Make the pain stop_. she thought. She tried to find her inner strength but it seemed to be disappearing day by day. Soon she would be nothing but a shell, an echo of her former self. What was she fighting for anymore? What did it matter anymore? She had nothing left for her in this world. Her entire family was dead. The Doctor was unreachable in her home universe. But even if she could escape to the other universe, could she even face the Doctor? Not if he shared the same face as his double. She couldn't do that.

_I want to die_.

But the Bad Wolf wouldn't let her die. The Time Vortex still ran through her, never allowing her to stay dead. Always healing her, always bringing her back. Always bringing her back to another day of pain and torture. Another day in Hell.

* * *

The Valeyard, the Doctor's meta-crisis renamed, threw Rose into her room. She stumbled and fell. Her legs weren't working properly. The Valeyard stood over her imperiously.

"You can end this you know. Just say the word and it will end."

Rose didn't even bother to respond. She didn't know if she could. Her throat hurt from the non-stop screams the electric shocks had wrested from her. The Valeyard slammed the door closed, leaving Rose in complete darkness. She didn't even have the strength to call upon the Time Vortex energy to create enough light in the room. Fortunately the cell, as she'd come to think of it, was small enough that she could crawl to the mattress on the floor that counted as her bed.

_Move legs, move!_ she demanded. Rose needed the bed. The bed was the only safe place for her. The bed meant sleep and escape.

Slowly, little by little, she crawled across the cold stone floor. Occasionally a tremor would run through her body, causing her to collapse as all strength left her.

_You can end this you know. Just say the word and it will end._ His words echoed across her mind. Each day those words sounded more inviting. Each day she was tempted to give in. There was only the small part of her that resisted. She held onto that part with all her strength. She had to, in order to keep her mind intact.

* * *

The Valeyard watched as Rose successfully made it to her bed. She collapsed on it and didn't move again. He knew his plan was working. Each day he could see a part of her spirit break away. Sometimes he did see a spark of gold. The Bad Wolf was there, trying to protect her. But the Wolf could only do so much. It could heal her body but that wasn't what he was after. Rose would break and would become his. She would be his submissive, obedient wife. She would use Bad Wolf for him. Together they would become untouchable.

He leaned back in his chair and sighed contentedly, remembering when he first captured Rose Tyler.

_Rose was struggling against two of his agents. Her efforts were futile. She didn't have the strength. The two men were genetically altered to be stronger than the average human. They made for great agents and guards._

_"Ah, my Rose. It's so good to finally see you again." the Valeyard smiled. Rose's eyes locked on his and there was defiance and anger in them. He knew he would enjoy breaking her._

_"What do you want?" she demanded of him. She stopped struggling for the moment but he knew that she was waiting for an opportunity to escape. She wasn't going to get that chance._

_"I want you of course." He deliberately walked towards her slowly. There was fear in her eyes along with her defiance. The Valeyard smiled. Fear was good. He stopped right in front of her and lifted her chin with his finger. "I have plans for us, Rose Tyler."_

_Rose's eyes narrowed and then slammed her head into his. He reeled back in pain and the guard on her right hit her in the stomach with his fist. She keeled over, gasping for breath. The Valeyard wiped the blood from his nose with the back of his hand. It wasn't a hard enough hit to break his nose but it was pretty damn painful. He looked down at Rose kneeling on the floor, clutching her stomach._

_'"That was very rude. I will have to teach you manners as well. But I have a something I need of you before we begin that lesson."_

_Rose looked up and he could see the fury in her eyes. They glowed gold slightly and the Valeyard smiled._

_"I won't do anything for you. I would rather die."_

_"Oh Rose. You will. You definitely will." He laughed as she stared at him in shock. With a wave of his hand he said to the agents, "Take her to her room."_

The memory made him smile. It had been a sweet victory. She had managed to avoid capture for over a year but in the end, his agents had caught up with her. Then, with a little persuasion, she gave him the ability to regenerate again. Well, the Bad Wolf had. It was that or watch her family be tortured to death, one by one. Rose was so predictable. Threaten anyone she loves and she'll do anything.

He looked back at the screen and saw her reaching out to something that was invisible. He'd noticed her doing that lately. She would reach for things or pretend to draw in the air. The Valeyard knew it had to be something that the Bad Wolf was showing her and he was determined to figure out what.

* * *

Rose lay staring into the darkness. A golden light suddenly appeared and it slowly took the shape of a wolf. The wolf was the same color of the vortex, looking like it was made of gold dust. She reached out to it and took comfort that she was not alone. Her other half, the Bad Wolf, was always looking out for her in the best way she could. The wolf had started appearing when Rose had stopped dying every day. She helped with the pain and the loneliness.

Rose could feel the tremors subsiding as her body slowly began to heal from the day's assaults. By the next day she would be mostly healed. And then it would start all over again. Rose had lost track of the days. She couldn't even remember the last time she'd seen sunlight. The one thing she did know was that the Valeyard was winning. There wasn't much fight left in her. She knew he saw it. She saw the way he smiled after every torture session.

Her golden wolf lay down on her chest. Rose could feel the power of the vortex running through her veins but there wasn't much she could do with it. She didn't know how to use it in the first place. She'd only managed to conjure vortex energy to create light. There was nothing to it. She had no control.

_How much longer can I last?_ she thought. The wolf moved to curl up in the space between her neck and shoulder. Rose sighed and closed her eyes, letting sleep draw her away from the hell that was her life.

  



	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We'll discover how Rose's family died and if it is the Valeyard's fault. I chose the name "Valeyard" because it was the Doctor's darker self in the series. I thought it fit.

The Doctor sighed as he stood outside the Ponds' room. Humans and their ridiculous need to sleep. He glared at the door for a moment longer before walking away. He didn't return to the console room. Instead he continued down the hall to a room he visited more regularly than he liked. He wasn't one to brood on the past but this particular part wouldn't leave him alone.

He stood facing the door with a name etched in circular Gallifreyan. _Rose Tyler._ After House deleted all of the TARDIS's rooms, he'd made sure this specific room was created again. The Doctor traced the name of the companion that he could not forget. Forgetting was his specialty. Hadn't he been running ever since he stole the TARDIS with his granddaughter? Running. Always running. Running from responsibility and from the horrors of the past.

But Rose, Rose was a completely different story. She was a special human. There was something about her that made her unforgettable. And no matter how hard he tried, the Doctor just could not get that special pink and yellow human out of his head.

He sighed again, placed his palm on the name for a moment, and then opened the door. It was exactly as she had left it. The bed, with its pink comforter was a rumbled mess; left unmade like usual. Posters hung crookedly from her walls. She had a picture of her mother and Mickey on the bedside table. Clothes were strewn on the floor as if she had been unable to decide what to wear on that terrible day.

Pain shot through his hearts and he quickly closed the door. It frustrated him, these painful emotions that just wouldn't leave him alone. It was time to escape these memories. He headed back to the console room and flopped into the jump seat.

* * *

Rose cried out again as the whip connected with the bare skin on her back. She could feel the blood dripping down her body. She was completely naked, adding to the pain and humiliation. Her shoulders were screaming in protest. She was hanging off a hook in the middle of an empty room. Her hands were cuffed and all of her weight was being held up by her wrists and shoulders. The tips of her toes barely brushed the floor. It was a tease, so close and yet so far from relief.

Time had slipped away from her again. She had no idea how long she'd been there for. Minutes? Hours? Days? All she knew was pain. Her shoulders felt like they were going to get pulled out of their sockets. When would the pain end?

_Please end. I can't take it anymore. Please. Kill me._

The whip struck her already raw skin again. Her vision went black momentarily. Unconsciousness was within reach. If only she could grab it.

Suddenly her feet were touching the floor. The hook was lowered and she collapsed on the floor. She curled up in a ball as a different kind of pain overwhelmed her. While it was a relief to no longer be hanging, her shoulders burned and her wrists ached.

Her torturer left and she was alone for a little while. Or was it minutes? Or seconds? The door opened and closed. Footsteps grew louder as the man grew closer. It was him. There was no doubt. He had a certain walk. She'd learned that walk. She knew the sound of his footsteps made, the length of his stride, the way he held himself, everything. She kept her eyes closed when the footsteps stopped near her head.

"How are you doing love?"

Rose didn't even have the strength to move her body. She simply opened her eyes and looked at him. She couldn't even glare anymore.

"You're not looking too good. That can be solved you know." The Valeyard ran his down her cheek affectionately. Rose flinched. "Oh don't do that. I'm not going to hurt you."

"I find that hard to believe," Rose croaked.

"Rose, darling, you are in control of this. This will stop. I promise. I can stop this. You just have to say the word."

The Valeyard focused on Rose's eyes. Gold streaked through the brown. He suppressed the smile. He could see the struggle. She'd been tortured for so long and he knew she was at the end of her rope. The Bad Wolf would do anything for Rose. If Rose gave in, Bad Wolf would finally be in his control. Then he could finally get out of this godforsaken universe.

Rose remained silent. It infuriated him but he held back his anger. Instead he grabbed the chain of the cuffs and dragged her out of the room on her back.

Rose felt the pain and in a distant part of her mind she noticed the bloody trail that she was leaving behind. The Valeyard dragged her to her bed and left the room with his usual parting words.

"You can end this you know. Just say the word and it will end." When she didn't reply, he slammed the door and she was left in darkness once again.

She couldn't hold the tears of sorrow back anymore. She sobbed. Her entire shook as her grief, pain, and feeling of hopelessness overcame her. Her wolf appeared but was little comfort. Who could comfort her anymore? Her options for her future were dwindling to one.

"Doctor," she whispered so quietly she could barely hear the words, "Doctor please help me. Save me. Doctor."

* * *

_Doctor. Doctor._

"Rose?" the Doctor said, sitting up quickly.

"Uh no. It's Amy." The red-head gave the Time Lord a quizzical look. "Who's Rose?"

"She's an old friend." The Doctor said offhandedly. He could have sworn he'd heard Rose calling his name. It must have been a dream. She was on his mind from his visit to her room earlier.

Amy was still looking at his oddly. "Are you okay Doctor?"

The Doctor clapped his hands and leapt out of the chair with enthusiasm. "Of course I'm okay! What could possibly be wrong Pond?" He didn't wait for her to respond, "Alright Ponds, where to next? Ah! How about Rio? I never took you to Rio. I owe you a trip to Rio!"

Amy and Rory exchanged looks as the Doctor pranced around the TARDIS console, flipping levers and switches wildly. The familiar sound of the TARDIS flying filled the room and they were off on another adventure. Unease filled Amy but the Doctor was not sharing at the moment. She would find out what was going on in her Raggedy Man's head.

* * *

Rose was lying back on her elbows on a field of grass. The grass was red and the skyline was orange. A light breeze blew through the open field. There was no pain here. There were no thoughts, no worries, nothing. She smiled and threw her head back.

"Rose Tyler," a woman's voice said.

Rose opened her eyes regretfully and looked at a woman with wild black hair and a dress that was quite unusual. She looked a little out of place in this landscape. Rose wanted the woman to go away and leave her alone. She was enjoying herself on this odd planet.

"Whatever you want, I don't care."

"Rose Tyler you must listen to me," she insisted.

"Go away. Leave me alone!" Rose turned away and closed her eyes again.

The woman looked at Rose sadly before disappearing in a golden light.

* * *

Rose woke when the door opened. A tray was placed by her bed and the person left again. Rose rolled over and grabbed at the food. She was starving and couldn't remember the last time she'd eaten. The tray held bread and cheese and a cup of water.

It was the best thing she'd experienced in such a long time. It was like it had been sent from heaven. The water was soothing to her raw throat. The bread and cheese didn't exactly curb her hunger but it helped. It was all gone too soon.

She rolled over on her back. The wounds had healed in her sleep thankfully. Sometimes Bad Wolf had enough strength to heal her while she slept. She raised her hand in the air and conjured up the image of the first incarnation of her Doctor. Big ears and a leather jacket. Then she brought the pinstripe suit wearing Doctor. His face was a bit more blurred than the leather Doctor's. There were differences in the Doctor's appearance and the Valeyard's. The Valeyard didn't favor the flashy suits. He only wore black. It matched his dark nature. The Doctor's suits were upbeat and went well with his trench coat. The Valeyard didn't wear a trench coat. It was these small differences that helped her keep them separate in her mind.

The door was open and light was spilling in. Shadows began to move in the corners, coming towards her like demons. They were stalking her like she was prey. Rose stood quickly and nearly fell over. Her head felt completely off and the demons were coming closer. She pressed herself against the wall, trying to escape. They were going to eat her. And it wasn't going to be quick. They were going to eat her bit by bit.

She screamed in terror. The demons were morphing, developing teeth and claws. They were at the edge of the bed.

"Rose!" the Valeyard called from the door.

"Help me!" she cried. "They're going to eat me. Help me!"

The Valeyard crossed the room quickly and scooped Rose up into his arms. She buried her face into his neck and sobbed.

"It's okay Rose. I've got you. They aren't going to get you."

"The demons. The demons! They want to eat me. Please hurry."

The Valeyard jogged until he got to his room. He opened the door, turned all the lights on, and placed her gently down on the bed.

"I'll be right back."

"No!" Rose begged. She grabbed his hand and didn't let go.

The Valeyard smiled and then turned back to her with a serious face. "I promise. You'll be okay. I'll be right back."

The Valeyard went to the bathroom and grabbed the syringe with the sedative. The drugs would be out of her system by the time she woke up. But he needed to use her confusion and fear the get closer to him. When he came back she was curled in a ball under the covers. She was shaking in terror. He placed the syringe on the end table and joined her under the covers. He pulled her into his arms and held her.

"Rose, my Rose. It's okay. I'm here. I'll protect you. I love you. I will always be here for you."

"I'm going mad. I so scared."

"You have nothing to fear when I'm here. I can help you. I can make the demons go away. Do you trust me?"

Rose looked up at him and met his eyes. He saw the gold once more and held her gaze. There was indecision there but he remained silent, giving her time to make a decision.

"Yes."

Smiling inwardly, he grabbed the syringe and showed it to her. "This will help. Do you trust me?" he repeated.

"Yes. Please, Valeyard. Save me."

He plunged the needle into her arm and injected the sedative. She was asleep in seconds. He pulled her close and reveled in the small victory.


	3. Chapter 3

Rose woke on a comfortable bed. This surprised her enough to sit up quickly. Her bed in her room was not comfortable like this. She looked around in confusion and a bedroom that was definitely not hers came into focus. The four poster bed was large and soft and covered in beautiful navy blue sheets. The comforter was white and white accent pillows were sitting at the end of the bed. The wood was dark and matched the two nightstands and the dresser. A large flat-screen TV hung on the wall facing the bed. A tall bookshelf stood along one wall with two comfortable-looking chairs positioned next to it.

It took Rose's sluggish brain a moment to realize that she must be the Valeyard's room. She tried to remember what had happened and why the hell she was in his bed. She quickly looked under the covers and found, with relief, that she was fully dressed. That didn't really mean anything but it was a comforting thought.

A door that Rose assumed led to the en suite bathroom opened and the Valeyard walked out. He was wearing only a towel around his waist and was using another one to dry his hair. When he saw that Rose was awake he smiled.

"You're awake. You've been asleep for quite a while now."

Rose quickly pulled the comforter up over her chest. Fear washed over her. What had he done to her? Why could she not remember?

The Valeyard looked at Rose with concern on his face. "Are you okay love?" He stepped towards her and Rose cowered. Frustration flared through the Valeyard again. It flickered across his face for a moment before he regained control. Rose caught the expression anyways.

"What happened? Why am I here? What did you do to me?"

"I did nothing. You were having a hallucination and I helped stop them. I brought you here to rest. My bed is much more comfortable than yours. You have nothing to fear."

Rose snorted and gave him a hard look. For the first time in forever she was finally feeling almost fully rested. It was a blessing but what was the price? Her golden wolf appeared and settled on her shoulder. She looked at her wolf and smiled. Whatever he had done had no affected her power or her companion.

"What are you looking at?" the Valeyard asked curiously.

Rose had not told him about the golden wolf. She didn't want him to take that comfort away from her. She didn't know if he could but it was not something she was willing to risk. She simply shook her head and remained silent.

"Would you like to stay here for a little bit?" the Valeyard asked suddenly.

This took Rose by surprise. "What?"

The Valeyard smiled. "You had a terrible night last night and I want to make sure you're okay. You can stay here and watch TV or read. You can take a nice hot bath. Anything you want."

Rose looked at him suspiciously. Where had this change come from? What was he doing? Had she said something last night to change his mind? Fear shot through her again. The wolf rubbed her head against Rose's neck, giving her the comfort she desperately needed. The wolf was warm and solid despite being made of golden dust.

"Rose, I'm not going to hurt you. I'm taking care of you. I took care of you last night and I will continue to take care of you. One day you will realize that you do love me."

Rose's head was spinning. This sudden kindness was so out of character that she thought she was dreaming for a moment. She actually pinched herself and found that it hurt. It scared her more than the torture she had endured for so long. What was his plan? Did he have a plan?

He moved to the closet and pulled out a black suit, white shirt, and red tie. He grabbed knickers and socks from a drawer and picked up a pair of black shoes. He then went into the bathroom to change. When he came back out, he fixed his gaze on Rose.

She remained silent. She had no words. The Valeyard approached her slowly and Rose visibly shrank into herself as he drew closer. With a gentle hand he touched her face. It was a soft and caring touch. He leaned in and kissed her lightly on the forehead. Rose remained frozen where she sat and watched in shock as he walked out of the room, locking it behind him.

* * *

The Valeyard smiled when he locked the door. His new plan was going to work. She was almost broken from the torture but this was going to make it better. Give her the comforts she desires and take them away if she misbehaves.

It still bothered him that Rose was seeing something he could not. He'd examine the video later to see if the cameras had picked up something he had not. He would get her to tell him. He wanted to make sure he was in complete control over the woman. Only with total control would he be able to harness the power of Bad Wolf and get back to the real world. This damn universe was grating on him. There was so much more power in the Doctor's universe and he would gain access to it.

He walked down the corridor until he got to a locked door. He entered the code on the number pad and walked in. Only he had access to this room. In the center sat the coral the Doctor had left for him to grow his own TARDIS in this world. Donna had mentioned how to grow a TARDIS 59 times faster on the day Rose and he were dropped off. The coral was growing but it was a slow growth which frustrated him. There just wasn't enough energy here for it to grow. Getting her back to Rose's original universe would speed up the process and then he'd finally have a TARDIS of his own.

He went over the calculations and made sure everything was functioning correctly. Once he was satisfied with everything he left the room and continued down the corridors to office to look over the videos.

* * *

Rose starred at the TV blankly. She wasn't actually seeing what was on. The football game just didn't hold her interest. Instead her mind wandered. More than anything else at the moment, she wanted her mother. But she would never have her mother again. She would never hug her mother or play with her little brother or talk to her father ever again.

The memory of finding out what happened to her family was clear in her mind. The Valeyard had told her of the accident but she had refused to believe him. She needed absolute proof and he gave it to her.

_The traffic camera wasn't the best quality but she could still see her father and mother in the front seats of their little sedan. She watched in horror as the lorry hit the passenger side of the car. The car was demolished, collapsing in on itself like it was designed to do. Rose watched in horror and held her hands over her mouth to keep herself from throwing up. An ambulance pulled up, sirens blaring. Tony was pulled from the back but looked unconscious. A man smashed in the passenger window to try and help Jackie. When he pulled himself back out, Rose could see a dark stain across his chest. He was shaking his head. Rose cried out and reached towards the screen as if she could save her family by touching it. Tony was loaded into another ambulance and it set off in the hopes of saving her little brother._

_The Valeyard turned the screen off when the ambulance drove away._

_Rose turned to the Valeyard. "I don't believe you."_

_The Valeyard nodded as if he was expecting this response. He motioned for her to follow and she stayed right behind him. He walked into a sterile room that resembled a morgue. Rose knew Torchwood had a room like this for dead aliens._

_Her heart froze as she saw three tables with three black body bags on them. She approached the cautiously. The tech waited until she was closer to unzip the first bag. It was Pete. He had cuts all over his face._

" _Internal decapitation. He was dead on impact," the Valeyard said in a matter of fact tone._

_The tech moved to the next bag. It was Jackie. She looked in worse shape than Pete. A huge gash ran across her cheekbone and something was wrong with her eye._

" _Blood loss. Her femoral artery was cut. She bled out quickly. I doubt she felt much."_

_Rose didn't want to see the final bag. The tech unzipped it and she saw her little brother. He didn't look too hurt, just a bit bruised._

" _He died on the way to the hospital. Internal bleeding."_

_Rose backed away until her back hit the cold wall. She began to shake as the realization of her loss hit her. She was alone in the world. There was no one left. Rose slid down the wall and curled in on herself. She began to rock back and forth._

" _Get out. Get out!" she heard the Valeyard shout. She didn't understand why until she looked down at her body. She was glowing gold. The aura was expanding around her. The power of the Bad Wolf gave her strength. She had to say good-bye._

_Rose went to the bodies and stared down at her family. Golden tears fell from her eyes. She touched Pete, Jackie, and Tony over their hearts. The visible wounds disappeared momentarily before their bodies dissolved into gold dust. Rose sent her family into the Time Vortex as their final resting place._

She was unsure if the accident was truly an accident. The Valeyard had never admitted to killing her family. He had threatened them before but he hadn't gone through with the threat. She had given in to his demands then. The Valeyard could regenerate. She didn't even know how many regenerations he had now. That thought scared her. What power had the she given him?

* * *

The Doctor was dreaming. He knew it was a dream because he was alone on New New Earth sitting the same hill he had sat on with Rose so long ago. The smell of the apple grass washed over him as the wind blew through the field. The hospital and the rest of New New York stood in the distance. The Doctor could see the cars flying around, going about their business. The last time he had been here was with Martha. _That_ had been an interesting day.

It bothered him that he continued to dream about Rose. Why did she keep popping up everywhere? Things that reminded him of her were constantly appearing, shooting pains through his hearts. Amy knew something was wrong though she didn't mention it. His Amelia knew him well. As well as any companion at least.

A blinding gold light appeared and a woman toppled out of it. He leapt to his feet and went to her. To his shock and horror he discovered it was Rose. She wasn't breathing. Her hair was wet and her silk nightgown was soaked; it clung to her like a second skin. He immediately started doing chest compressions. About ten compressions later, Rose coughed up a lung full of water. The Doctor sat back on his heels in relief.

Rose continued to cough until she could catch her breath. The Doctor simply sat there and watched her in awe. She seemed so real, even in this dream. Rose turned and met the Doctor's eyes. He was surprised to see anger there. Rose had never looked at him like that before.

"Why didn't you just let me die? I can't even die in my fucking dreams." She stood up, pulling at the purple silk. She pushed his chest hard and he fell onto his backside. "I just want to die and stay dead. Is that too much to ask for?"

The Doctor stared her, his jaw dropped unconsciously. He didn't even try getting up. This was not his Rose. There was no way. His Rose was not this angry. She was not this hostile.

"Rose?" he asked to make sure he was actually seeing his former companion.

Rose glared, "How do you know my name? Who are you?" She had her hands on her hips in a very Rose-like attitude.

Of course she didn't know him. He'd changed his face. He almost smiled in relief. Rose was angry at a stranger. He didn't know why she should want to die and that concerned him. But once she realized it was him, she'd tell him what was going on. She'd be happy to see the Doctor again…right?

"Rose, it's me. It's the Doctor."

Too his surprised she stepped back. Rage filled her eyes. The Doctor could actually feel it emanating from her.

"Doctor? Did you regenerate?"

"Yes. A little while ago actually." He stood and tried to step towards her but she backed away further. It hurt him but he tried not to let it show.

"You should have let me die," she said quietly.

"Why?"

Rose shook her head, took another step back, and screamed. She sounded like she was in terrible pain. It sounded like the pain was ripped from her body, her heart. The Doctor winced as the scream pierced him like a knife to the chest. What could have possible happened to make Rose scream in pain like that?

"I'm done Doctor," she said when the scream died down. "I can't do this anymore. I have no choice. You left me with no choice. You did this to me. You trapped me with _him._ "

"Rose, I don't understand. What are you talking about?"

But Rose simply shook her head again and took another step backwards, widening the distance between them even more. A golden wolf appeared by her side. The wolf seemed to be made of gold dust and light. She was a rather large wolf; her head came to Rose's waist. She was absolutely beautiful. Rose placed her hand on the wolf's head.

"It's your fault Doctor. I no longer have any options. I must do what is best for me and," she looked down at her gold wolf, "Bad Wolf."

And with those ominous words, Rose disappeared in another flash of bright, gold light


	4. Chapter 4

Rose woke up coughing. She coughed until all the water was out of her lungs, leaving her exhausted. When she rolled over she saw her savior. Of course it was him.

"Is there a particular reason why you were trying to kill yourself?" the Valeyard asked in a polite tone, a definite danger sign.

"I fell asleep," Rose replied truthfully. She was soaked and the purple silk gown she wore left little to the imagination. She scooted back to the wall and grabbed a towel than was hanging on the hook. She covered her body with the towel, hiding it from the Valeyard's penetrating gaze.

"You decided to take a bath in your night clothes?"

Rose didn't reply. She didn't really have an answer. Earlier when she gotten up to take a bath, she hadn't even considered undressing. The thought of seeing her body made her shudder. She hadn't died in a while and some of the scars still remained.

"My dearest Rose, dying will not solve your problems."

_No but it does provide a small relief._

"There is a way to solve them however."

Rose looked at the Valeyard hesitantly. Was he lying? Could she trust him? He had made the demons go away. She had trusted him then. The memory of this still surprised her.

"How?" she asked eventually.

"Do you remember the TARDIS coral the Doctor left us?" Rose nodded. "Donna explained how to help it grow faster. Well it's not growing as well as it should. It's this universe. In order for her to grow, we need to get her to her original universe. _Your_ universe."

"That's not possible. All the cracks sealed themselves."

"There are always cracks. We just have to find them. Bad Wolf can help us. The Time Vortex runs through you Rose. You can do anything. I can help you. Together we can go home."

It was a wonderful idea. She could go home. Her mother would be alive in the universe. She wouldn't have Pete or Tony but Jackie would be alive. And if the Valeyard was correct, she could have a TARDIS to travel the universe again.

"I will leave you to think about it. It will happen in the end Rose Tyler. We can do it one of two ways. Either you willingly help, or you will go back to being a science project again. My scientists are still quite curious about you. You have three days."

The Valeyard stood and left the bathroom. Rose sat alone on the cold floor for a long time. Thoughts bounced around her head, confusing her more than ever. She had three days before the torture began again. The break she had received was a blessing and a curse. If the torture resumed, she wasn't sure she would live with her sanity intact.

_What do I do?_

Her wolf appeared before her, larger than usual. She was the size of an average wolf. Rose reached out and touched her head. Warmth radiated from her, soothing to the touch and to the mind. The wolf walked forward and Rose rested her forehead on the wolf's. Tears because to leak from her eyes and she cried quietly, clutching to her wolf for comfort.

* * *

The Valeyard watched Rose climb back into his bed. She had changed into the blue silk nightgown he had left on the bed for her. She looked like the goddess she was. He could see her absently petting the air. It still bothered him that he couldn't see what she was seeing. It had to be something with Bad Wolf. That was the only explanation. She would tell him in the end.

He was getting somewhere with Rose. He could see it in her eyes and in her responses to him. She definitely feared him but she also saw he would be an escape. A small shiver went through him. All this time he had worked to get to this point. Over a year's worth of effort and he had her within his grasp. It was infuriating. He was so close.

_Patience_. He reminded himself. It would be worth it in the end.

His eyes returned to the monitor. He longed to hold her as he had held her when he carried her to his rooms. He loved her and he had always loved her. He loved her since the moment of his birth.

" _Hold on, this is the parallel universe, right?" Rose spun around, looking at the familiar bay._

" _You're back home," the Doctor said._

" _And the walls of the world are closing again, now that the Reality Bomb never happened. It's dimensional retroclosure. See, I really get that stuff now." Donna told Rose._

_Rose turned to the Doctor in anger and disbelief._

" _No, but I spent all that time trying to find you. I'm not going back now." Her voice shook angrily. This couldn't be happening._

_The Doctor walked towards her, his hands in his pockets. "But you've got to. Because we saved the universe, but at a cost. And the cost is him. He destroyed the Daleks. He committed genocide. He's too dangerous to be left on his own."_

" _You made me," the meta-crisis Doctor said angrily._

" _Exactly," the Doctor replied harshly. "You were born in battle, full of blood and anger and revenge." He turned to Rose. "Remind you of someone? That's me, when we first met. And you made me better. Now you can do the same for him."_

" _But he's not you." Rose said in a shaky voice._

" _He needs you," he said softly. "That's very me."_

_Donna stepped forward. "But it's better than that though. Don't you see what he's trying to give you?" She looked to the meta-crisis. "Tell her. Go on."_

_Rose turned to this new Doctor, the man with the same face but who wasn't the Doctor. "I look like him and I think like him. Same memories, same thoughts, same everything. Except I've only got one heart."_

" _Which means?" Rose asked quickly._

" _I'm part human. Specifically the aging part. I'll grow old and never regenerate. I've only got one life, Rose Tyler. I could spend it with you, if you want." There was a hopeful, almost pleading tone in his voice._

" _You'll grow old at the same time as me?"_

" _Together."_

_Rose tried to wrap her mind around this news. She shook her head but stepped forward and placed her hand over his heart. There was only one heartbeat. She smiled and the part-human Time Lord returned it._

_The TARDIS made a loud noise, getting the Doctor's attention. Rose whipped around._

" _We've gotta go," he told her. "This reality is sealing itself off forever." The Doctor turned and started walking back to the TARDIS with Donna. She ran after him, the familiar burning sensation returning behind her eyes._

" _But, it's still not right, cause the Doctor's still you." He couldn't be doing this to her again. Not again. Not on this same beach. Not in this same spot. It couldn't possibly be true._

_The Doctor turned around again. "And I'm him."_

_Rose had to make sure of one thing. "Alright," she said, glancing at the meta-crisis before returning her attention back to the true Doctor. "Both of you, answer me this. When I last stood on this beach, on the worst day of my life, what was the last thing you said to me? Go on, say it!"_

_The Doctor took a deep breath. "I said, Rose Tyler."_

" _Yeah, and how was that sentence going to end?" she demanded._

" _Does it need saying?"_

_Of course it needed saying! She needed to hear him say it. The Doctor didn't reply so she turned to the other Doctor._

" _And you Doctor? What was the end of that sentence?"_

_He leaned down towards her ear whispered the three words she'd waited so long to hear. "I love you."_

_She looked at him for a long moment. Here was the man she had loved for so long. He was here and he was human and he'd said the words she had desperately wanted to her come from the Doctor's lips. She grabbed his lapels and pulled him into a lip-crushing kiss. She wrapped her arms around his neck but broke off when she heard the TARDIS start to disappear. She ran forward a couple of steps but stopped. The new Doctor stepped up and took her hand. She looked down at their joined hands and the new Doctor gave her hand a squeeze. He would be the Doctor for Rose but he would be so much more as well._

The Valeyard smiled at the memory of the kiss. He could still remember the feel on her lips on his. He remembered the good times, before Rose began to fear him. She feared his curiosity in the beginning. When Bad Wolf showed herself, the Valeyard had been seized by the need for knowledge.

Then she ran. That was when the rage came over him. He had been determined to find her, to force her to love him again. It was when Torchwood fell under his command that he became the Valeyard. In that moment he knew what he wanted and what he would get. Rose Tyler had become the center of his attention and he had not wavered.

With a shake of his head, he withdrew himself from memories. Rose was asleep on his bed. _Their_ bed. He would not join her that night. But maybe, just maybe, tomorrow night would bring him his deepest desires.

He smiled, switched off the monitor, and retired to another of his bedrooms.

* * *

The Doctor was running with Amy and Rory in tow. Sontarans were hot on their tails, firing freely.

"Doctor! If we survive this I'm going to kill you!" Amy screamed in her Scottish accent.

"You have to catch me first!" The Doctor said, laughing wildly. He dived behind a marble column in the palace throne room, barely missing regeneration by a Sontaran bullet.

"You just had to find an invasion on an alien planet." Rory shouted from behind a neighboring column.

Dust flew through the air as the shots pelted into the marble. Soon the Sontarans would be on top of them.

"You will face us and die at the hands of the mighty Sontaran army," one short, potato-like man boomed.

"Sorry to disappoint but that's not going to happen," the Doctor called back. He took the sword he had been carrying from the armory and cut the rope holding up the giant curtains in the throne room. Rory did the same on the other side. The heavy curtains fell on top of the Sontarans, distracting them enough to run. The Doctor grabbed Amy's hand and Amy grabbed Rory's. They were off.

"Time to save the princess!" the Doctor called to his companions. He laughed like the mad man he was.

* * *

Rose lay in the Valeyard's bed, absentmindedly petting her miniature wolf that rested on her chest. She wondered if the Valeyard would join her. He hadn't been around since he'd first brought her to his rooms.

Just before the Valeyard had resuscitated her, Rose had been dreaming; an odd thing seeing as she was dying, not sleeping. It was weird because a stranger claiming to be the Doctor had been there. He definitely did not look like the Doctor she remembered but he had said he'd regenerated. How could she be dreaming, or whatever she had been doing, about the Doctor in a form she hadn't seen before?

He acted differently as well. He looked younger and…there was no other word for it…floppy. Floppy hair, floppy arms, floppy hands. His movements were more exuberant. He used his hands while speaking a lot. This new Doctor, if he truly was the Doctor, was weird. And he was wearing a box tie and suspenders? It was almost comical.

In her dream she had been angry with the Doctor. If she really thought about it, she was furious with him. Every word she had told the dream Doctor had been true. It was his fault. She had been tortured because he had left her with the Valeyard. And the Doctor wouldn't save her. He ran and never looked back. Always. He'd done it to her more than once and he'd do it to all his future companions eventually.

Rose looked at her wolf. The Valeyard said he could help Rose use Bad Wolf. Could this be true? All she had to do was stop fighting him. Listen and give in. Was that so difficult? Where was the gain in resisting? She was on her own.

She believed the Valeyard loved her. He had always loved her. He was overzealous with certain things, especially regarding her, but he loved her.

_And the torture?_ A small part spoke up. It was so quiet and distant it barely drew Rose's attention.

He was doing tests on Bad Wolf. And if those tests helped them grow the TARDIS and escape this universe, it would be worth it. Right?

Rose let out a groan and moved into a more comfortable position. There were too many thoughts. Too many emotions were clamoring for attention and it felt like she was truly drowning.

Her wolf grew slightly larger, the size of the average indoor cat, and curdled up next to her. Rose looked long and hard at her wolf. Her wolf came from Bad Wolf. There was power there. She knew it and she knew she could use it.

"So many thoughts, my wolf. So so many thoughts."

With a sigh, Rose closed her eyes and drifted off to sleep.

* * *

His companions were sleeping again. They had saved the princess and rescued her people from the Sontaran invasion. It had been a fun adventure.

The Doctor had barely stopped running since his horrific dream. It was one crazy adventure after the next. He knew it was a distraction but distractions were his specialty. It was these moments when the Ponds needed sleep that he couldn't stop the thoughts he was running from. He had taken to going on dates with River Song. They were another good distraction.

River. That was a whole other issue. He cared about her. He truly did. But he did not love her; not as she loved him at least. It was more out of obligation than love that he married her. But he promised himself that he would be there for River. She had saved his life and her time in this world was slowly coming to an end. All too soon she would be headed towards the Library and to her death. Another life he could not save. Another death he had caused.

The TARDIS materialized outside River's cell in Stormcage. It was time for a night of dancing. River loved dancing. The Doctor opened the TARDIS doors wearing a black suite with a frock coat and his bow tie. River looked up from her journal and grinned.

"Hello sweetie."

"Mrs. Song, how about a night of music and dance?" The Doctor took out his sonic screwdriver and unlocked her cell door. He held out his hand and she took it with a smile.

"That sounds wonderful. I take it my parents are sleeping?" she asked as she stepped into the TARDIS after him and closed the doors.

"Yes. Now move along and get changed. You wouldn't want to cause the ladies of the court to faint, being naked as you are."

River grinned and headed towards the closet the TARDIS had provided for her. The Doctor smiled after River. River reminded him of the time when he accidently took Rose to Cardiff in 1869 where they met Charles Dickens and the terrible Gelth. Charles had saved their lives that day but at the cost of the poor Gwyneth's life. Rose had grieved over the loss of Gwyneth. Rose, the defender of the innocent. She had fought him tooth and nail about the Gelth using the dead as bodies. She had been right in the end.

Rose! There she was again. Constantly intruding on his thoughts. The Doctor shook his head vigorously and put in the coordinates for the TARDIS to take them to a party in 17th century London.

River returned as the TARDIS landed. "So Doctor, where are we tonight?"

"Off to a royal ball."

"Sounds wonderful." River was grinning again.

The Doctor returned the smile and held the door open.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just a little note that there's some torture in this chapter

It was late afternoon the next day when Rose saw the Valeyard again. He was carrying her lunch on a tray. He smiled when he saw she was awake and reading in one of the chairs next to the bookcase.

"Did you find a book you like?" the Valeyard asked, placing the tray on the coffee table in front of her.

Rose held up the book so he could read the title. He laughed and she blushed.

"Harry Potter. Of course. Good ol' J.K. You know,I helped save the Earth with one of her spells, with the help of Martha and Shakespeare." The Valeyard smiled.

"You did?" Rose asked curiously. "What happened?"

The Valeyard went on to explain about the Carrionites trying to free their race from the Darkness and take over Earth. He was hesitant to talk about Martha but Rose seemed to be more interested in the events than who his companion had been at the time.

"So Shakespeare rewrote the ending but ran out of words so Martha randomly said 'Expelliarmus' and Shakespeare repeated it, causing the Carrionites to be trapped within a crystal ball, never to bother the universe again."

"Wow. That's hilarious. Shakespeare with writer's block," Rose laughed, causing the Valeyard to smile.

"Well he was under a lot of pressure to save the world and all of human-kind. I think that's a good excuse for writer's block."

"I would say so," Rose said. She marked her place with a bookmark and placed the book back onto the shelf.

The Valeyard nodded and waited for Rose to speak up. He wanted Rose to lead the conversation today. It wanted her to feel comfortable and at home. Talking to her of the adventures the Doctor had had after Rose had become trapped in this parallel universe seemed to make her happy.

"Are those chips?" Rose asked tentatively. The smell was intoxicating.

"Of course. Go ahead and eat."

Rose dived in and groaned when she took her first bite. It had been a very long time since she'd had chips. She ate in silence for a while until the silence seemed to press down heavily on her ears.

"So, uh, you mentioned the TARDIS coral. How's it doing?"

The Valeyard looked oddly triumphant for a moment so brief, Rose wasn't sure she'd even seen it. In fact, he looked sad.

"She is struggling. There is not enough energy in this universe. There is no Gallifrey here so she is the only TARDIS to have ever grown here."

"Can you feel her?"

He nodded gravely. "Yes. It's frustrating. I can do nothing for her at the moment. It's why I need to get her to her original universe where she can grow and thrive."

They sat in silence once more. Rose was having an internal battle before finally deciding on what she wanted to do.

"May I see her?" she asked quietly.

The Valeyard beamed. "Of course. Are you done? Do you want to go now?" He was like a child in a sweets shop. It almost made Rose smile. He had the energy the Doctor always had right before they solved a new mystery.

Rose put the plate down and stood. "Let's go."

The Valeyard stuck out his hand and Rose grabbed it without thinking. It felt natural. His hand fit hers perfectly. A pang shot through her heart as her mind flashed to the times when she had grasped the Doctor's hand like this.

Without another word he pulled her out of the room and down the winding halls. She was lost almost instantly. The place was built like a maze. It had been designed that way in case of an alien escape. It made escaping to the outside world more difficult with all the changing halls and lights. Rose thought back to the times when she herself had gotten lost on multiple occasions. It had been beyond frustrating. If she could get lost even though she worked for Torchwood, then the aliens had no chance.

It was hard to keep up with him. Her body was thin and she had not used her muscles in this way in so long. The Valeyard seemed to notice and he slowed down. Suddenly they were standing in front of a door with a number pad next to the handle. Rose could feel something coming from inside the room but she couldn't explain what it was. It felt sick and made her slightly nauseous.

"I believe you will feel her as well, maybe even more than I do. If it's too much let me know and we will leave."

He punched the code in and opened the door. Rose stepped in and saw the baby TARDIS in the middle of the room. The Valeyard had been right. She could feel the TARDIS. She was weak and barely hanging on to life. The nausea intensified and she fought to keep the bile from rising into her throat.

Without asking for permission she walked towards the dying ship that was clinging to life with all it had. She could feel Bad Wolf awakening within her. Her golden wolf appeared in her largest form, the size of the average gray wolf. She heard the Valeyard gasp and she knew he could see her wolf but, at the moment, she didn't care. Her whole attention was focused on the TARDIS. The ship was pulling at her heart, beckoning her, drawing her closer to the center of the room.

Rose and the wolf approached the TARDIS slowly. The song of the TARDIS's sang in Rose's mind. It was weak and distant and sad. Rose knew she had to do something. She reached out and touched it with her forefinger at the same moment the gold wolf touch it with her nose. A flash of gold light lit up the room. Time Vortex energy flowed into the heart of the TARDIS. It wasn't much but it was enough to help strengthen the struggling TARDIS.

Rose stepped back with the wolf by her side. She felt slightly drained but happy. The energy she had given the TARDIS had strengthened it slightly. Rose knew there had to be more she could do for it but at the moment the TARDIS was safe from death. She looked down at her wolf and beamed. The wolf let out a small yip in reply.

The Valeyard made a small noise, drawing Rose's attention. It was then that she realized what was actually going on around her. She looked at him fearfully. He simply looked amazed. In that amazement she also saw hunger.

"What did you do? She feels stronger." The Valeyard walked past Rose to the small TARDIS.

"I don't really know. I just did it."

He turned around and looked from Rose to her wolf. He focused on the wolf and squatted so he was eye-level. It made Rose nervous to have him so close to her wolf. She placed a hand on the wolf's back to steady herself.

"She's beautiful," he breathed. "She's the thing I've seen you looking at or touching."

Rose nodded. She was afraid that he could see her wolf. She didn't want to lose her only source of comfort. The wolf didn't move or look away from the Valeyard. She stood solidly next to Rose, letting Rose know that she wasn't going anywhere.

"She must be the embodiment of Bad Wolf."

Rose shrugged. "She just appeared one day." She withheld the fact that it was after a particularly brutal torture session.

_Rose was face down on a hard table. Her arms were extended out to her sides and strapped down. Her head was also strapped down and she couldn't move it at all. She was blindfolded and wearing something that muffled her hearing. Her back was bare but she had been able to keep her knickers on; a small comfort. Her legs were also strapped down at the end of the table. She was completely immobile. It made it much easier for her torturer._

_Pain shot down her back as she felt the blade separate her skin. Her sense deprivation made everything worse. She couldn't hear when the blade was being picked up for the movements of her torturer. It was all a waiting game; a mental torture on top of a physical one._

_A few moments later, Rose felt the needle pierce the newly separated skin. Her torturer was stitching the cut back together. He'd been doing this over and over again. Slice. Stitch. Slice. Stitch. Slice. Stitch. The lengths were always different and the time between each was erratic at best. She didn't know which was worse; the feel of the blade on her back or the needle and thread continually going through the fresh slice._

_Tears fell from her eyes but the blindfold kept them from falling down her cheeks. Her throat was raw from screaming. She couldn't even manage a scream anymore. The pain was almost unbearable. She had lost track of time again. How long would she have to endure this? How long had she been on this table? How many times was the blade going to cut her open? When would it stop?_

_Rose suddenly felt her hospital gown being tied back up. Even that hurt. The fabric touching her raw skin was incredibly painful. Her straps were removed, as were her blindfold and the ear mufflers. She pulled her arms to her sides and gasped as pain seared down her back. After that she didn't even try moving._

_She didn't know how long she lay on that hard table. She didn't want to move yet she longed for her bed. The Valeyard eventually came for her and forced her to walk to her bedroom. He left with his usual departing words and left her in the darkness. She made her way to her bed and collapsed onto it._

_It took everything in her to force herself to untie the knots on the gown. Everything hurt. Moving hurt. Breathing hurt. Living hurt. Existing hurt. Rose felt the burning behind her eyes but she no longer had any tears left to shed. She simply lay there, her mind blank except for the pain. Her world was pain. Her existence was pain. To die would be a relief. To die and stay dead would be even better._

_Her eyelids suddenly lit pink as light appeared in her room. Rose's eyes snapped open and to her shock she saw a small wolf the size of a 6-month-old Labrador retriever before her. Despite its size it looked full-grown. It was gold and seemed to be made of gold dust and light. The wolf's bright eyes met Rose's. Peace overcame her. Despite her pain, she reached for the golden wolf. It walked forward and pressed her head to Rose's palm. Warmth spread through her arm and into the rest of her body. The pain on her back began to ease. It wasn't gone all together but it became more bearable._

_Rose stared in awe at the golden being before her. She was breathtakingly beautiful. Instinctively she knew this was part of Bad Wolf and her connection to the Time Vortex. She didn't care how it was possible; she simply accepted and reveled in it. She wasn't alone anymore._

Rose withdrew herself from her memories and forced herself to focus on the current situation. The Valeyard reached out to touch the wolf but she stepped away, walking behind Rose and stopping Rose's other side. The Valeyard frowned but said nothing. The wolf looked up a Rose for a moment before disappearing from sight.

"Is she gone?" the Valeyard asked.

"Yes."

"Can you do anything with the Time Vortex power?"

Rose hesitated before answering. "It's nothing special. I can just conjure a light source."

She held her right hand out, palm up. She then pressed her left palm on top of her right and lifted it slowly. A trail of gold dust and light appeared, resting on her right palm. The dust and light formed into a sphere, looking like a little sun hovering over Rose's hand. Light shone from the tiny sun, lighting up the room. The TARDIS in the center of the room reacted to the light and Time Vortex energy. It let out a low hum as if it were basking in the sun. Rose let the sphere hover for a few moments longer before closing her hand into a fist. The light dissipated and the TARDIS grew silent.

The Valeyard was silent for a few moments. He simply stood there in shock and awe. Finally he managed to find his voice.

"Do you know what this means? We can help this TARDIS grow to her full potential and leave this universe. Together we can save her from dying." The Valeyard grasped Rose's hands in both of his. "Rose, this is what we need to get home. You and Bad Wolf are the key to that. You must help me save the TARDIS," he said in a pleading tone.

Rose looked at him, her thoughts bouncing around. She had been thinking the same thing. She could save the TARDIS but at what cost? What would she be forced to do? What would he make her do? She was scared. Fear had become her constant companion for over a year. It was fear that led her decisions now.

"I-I have to think about it," she replied in a shakily. Anger and frustration flared in the Valeyard's eyes but he didn't do anything. Instead he dropped her hands and nodded.

"You have two days," he told her flatly and held open the door for her.

The Valeyard led the way back to his rooms and let her inside. Rose expected him to join her but he simply stood in the doorway and stared at her. He held her gaze for a long moment before closing and locking the door without a word. An uneasy feeling crept over Rose. Her future rested on this decision and it was not going to be an easy one to make.

Rose began to pace as her mind raced. Everything in her wanted to help the TARDIS. The TARDIS needed her. It hurt to even think of abandoning the ship and leaving it to die. But helping the TARDIS meant helping the Valeyard. Could she do that?

_If we get home, I can escape from him_ , she thought as she paced. The thought almost made her laugh. _Escape, ha! If only it were that easy._ Nothing was easy in her life anymore. A small decision could have drastic consequences. More than once Rose had tried to access the Time Vortex to see the consequences of any action she took but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't see anything. It was beyond frustrating that she could conjure a ball of light but couldn't do anything else. She supposedly had all this power yet she couldn't access it. The Valeyard had said he could help. What if he could? What if she could have full access to Bad Wolf? She would have the power to escape.

But did she want to escape anymore. True, he could be power-hungry asshole. But he could also be kind and gentle. He loved her. He wanted her to reach her full potential. What if he could help her achieve her true potential? Was the cost of his help too high? It was all beyond confusing. His love for her was confusing. Did she still love him? Was the Doctor still part of him? Could she bring the Doctor back?

Rose let out a frustrated groan and rested her forehead on the wall next to the bathroom door. Two days. The Valeyard said she had two days. Was two days enough time? This decision would decide the rest of her future. How could someone decide that in two days?

Rose beat her head against the wall a few times. It was going to be a long 48 hours.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so this has quite of bit of the Doctor talking about Rose but I like it and felt that it was necessary.

The Doctor was standing in front of Rose's door again. His companions were sleeping and he'd found himself wandering the TARDIS halls. Without even realizing it, his feet had led him to this room again. He'd been standing there for a solid five minutes. Not much was going through his mind as he stood there. He simply stared at the door and the name engraved on it with a sense of longing and loss.

"Doctor?"

The Doctor jumped a bit, startled out of his mindless state by Amy. She was wearing her pajamas and wrapped in a lilac bathrobe. He smiled when he saw her, trying to seem like his usual bubbly self.

"Pond. What are you doing up?"

Amy smiled. "Rory is snoring and I can't sleep. I went to the console room to find you but you weren't there." Amy noticed the door for the first time. "What room is this?"

The Doctor took a few steps back and leaned against the opposite wall nonchalantly. "It's nothing. Just a room."

Amy didn't believe him for a second. She put her hands on her hips and gave him a hard stare. The Doctor couldn't really resist the stare. He could at least tell her, even if he didn't go into too many details.

"It's Rose's old room."

Amy raised an eyebrow. "Rose? As in your old companion? Do you keep all your companions' old rooms?"

"No. Just Rose's."

He was sticking to short answers but Amy wasn't having any of that nonsense. She walked past him and, before he could stop her, opened the door and walked in. She was almost blinded by the amount of pink. Apparently this girl liked the color.

"Amelia Pond!" the Doctor exclaimed in protest. He didn't follow her into the room. He stopped at the doorway, seemingly unable to cross the threshold.

Amy ignored the Doctor and looked around the room. On the nightstand Amy found pictures of a young, blonde woman with another older blonde woman. Amy assumed this was Rose and her mother. She picked up the picture frame and turned to the Doctor. There was also a picture of Rose and another guy, black with hair so short you couldn't even grab it. But the pictures that grabbed Amy's attention most was Rose with a thin man in a pinstripe suit, glasses, and hair that seemed to defy gravity. She picked up the picture and showed it to the Doctor.

"Is this you and Rose?" she asked unnecessarily.

The Doctor nodded but didn't say anything. His stomach seemed to be in the region of his Adam's apple. He didn't like that Amy was in Rose's room. It felt like an intrusion. She was physically seeing his past and that was something he kept as secret as possible. He was always looking to the future, to his next adventure.

Amy put the picture back down and sat on the bed. She patted the empty space next to her, beckoning the Doctor in to sit down with her. She knew her Raggedy Man needed to talk even if he didn't know it himself. The Doctor hesitated for a moment before entering. He kept his focus on Amy as he walked through the hauntingly familiar room.

"Tell me about her."

"Why? It's my past. She's gone and I've moved on."

Amy snorted. "If you had moved on you would not be standing in front of her door or barely able to come in. Tell me about her."

"It's a bit of a long story."

"I like stories. Please Doctor, I want to know."

The Doctor stared at his companion for a long moment. Amy didn't say anything. He took a deep breath and began to speak.

He spoke of their first meeting and a few of their first adventures. He told Amy of the happy energy Rose had, how she was always ready for fun, always looking forward to their next adventure. When he got to Satellite Five and their battle there, he paused, unable to find words. That had been two regenerations ago. Two lifetimes ago.

"What happened?"

He went on to explain about the games and the Daleks. He told her of the Delta wave and the difficult choice he had to make. It had been a difficult choice at the time but choosing to not use the Delta wave was the right decision to make. He explained about tricking Rose into the TARDIS and sending her back into her own time. The Doctor knew Rose had not been happy about that.

The Doctor paused and a small smile crept on his face and a chuckle managed to escape. "Rose Tyler, Defender of the Earth. She doesn't back down from a fight and doesn't take no for an answer. She never listens. She read the signs that had been following us through time. Two words kept popping up wherever we went. Bad Wolf. In the end she opened up the TARDIS console and looked into the heart of the TARDIS. It was beyond dangerous and extremely stupid but that would never stop Rose.

"Rose came back, full of the Time Vortex. It was killing her. She was a goddess. She could see through time and space and could control the very atoms. She destroyed the Emporer and the insane Daleks and brought Jack back to life. I absorbed the Time Vortex from her body and sent it back to the heart of the TARDIS and Rose returned back to her usual self. But saving her came at a cost. I regenerated into my tenth form."

They were silent for a while. He knew that he had to tell her the last parts of the story of Rose Tyler but it was one of the more painful parts of his past. Amy waited in silence while the Doctor struggled with himself. Amy knew that he spent most of his time looking to the future and avoiding his history. Her Doctor was over 1000-year-old now and he had obviously seen many things. There were times that she could see how old he truly was. His eyes would get this haunted look. This happened most often when lives were threatened and he became an angry storm, powerful in his wrath, unforgiving in his hearts.

"It was the Daleks and the Cybermen. The Battle of Canary Warf. I'm sure you've heard of it." The Doctor explained how the Daleks and the Cybermen had come through. He told her of Torchwood and their idiocy and their reckless use of alien technology that they didn't understand. He explained how the cracks were opening wider, both worlds were becoming unstable.

"The only way to stop it was to close the cracks and seal off the worlds forever."

"That sounds a bit complicated with a bunch of Daleks and Cybermen running around," Amy said.

The Doctor smiled. "Yes but I am brilliant and found a way. See, when you travel through the Void you get this Void-stuff on you."

"Void-stuff? That's your fancy term for it?" Amy asked in disbelief.

"Hey! That's only way I could describe it." He shot Amy a dirty look before moving on. "By opening the hole in universe, the Void-stuff that covered the Daleks and Cybermen would be pulled back to the Void"

"I'm sensing a problem."

"Well, Rose and I had travelled to the parallel universe, falling through the Void. Mickey and Pete and their team had also travelled through the Void. If I opened the crack, everyone would be sucked in too. I sent them and Rose to the parallel universe and planned to fix it myself. I could anchor myself so I didn't sucked in. But Rose, oh Rose, decided she wasn't having that and came back."

"But?"

"A flying Dalek hit the lever, slowing the process of sucking every last damn Dalek and Cyberman into nothingness. Rose chose to fix the lever but couldn't hold on. She was flying towards the Void when her father saved her. I couldn't get her back. I managed to say good-bye but it was terrible."

"So you never got to see her again."

The Doctor shook his head, another smile lighting his face. "You don't know Rose Tyler. She's stubborn, that one."

Once again the Doctor delved into the story of Rose, telling Amy about the Daleks, Davros, and the Reality Bomb. He told her of Donna Noble, the most important woman in all of creation and how she managed to save the world. Amy seemed to like the sassy ginger when the Doctor told her how Donna was. Donna didn't take the Doctor's crap just like Amy.

"Donna touched my hand and created a meta-crisis. Part Time Lord, part human. When the worlds began closing again, I took Rose back to the parallel world and left her with the meta-crisis. I gave her the chance to live with a version of myself but the meta-crisis only had one heart. They could grow old together. The one adventure I can never have."

Amy put her hand on the Doctor's leg, not speaking. She sat in silence with him, giving him her unspoken support. She could understand why he had such a hard time forgetting Rose Tyler. She seemed like an incredible person and one whom the Doctor loved, though he would never admit it.

What was hard for Amy was that the Doctor obviously still had feelings for this unknown person. Yet he was married to her daughter. Of course the Doctor's relationship with River was an odd one, with their timelines being so mixed up. But the fact that the Doctor's heart, or part of it, still belonged to Rose bothered her. Amy decided not to voice their thoughts. The Doctor obviously had a complicated past and he probably loved before River and even Rose. Hadn't he said he had been a grandfather?

"It was the right thing to do. You gave her a life she couldn't have had traveling with you in the TARDIS."

The Doctor nodded. "I know I did. It was difficult but my life is full of difficult choices." That was the understatement of the century. He turned to Amy and pulled her into a hug. "Thank you for listening Pond. Now," he clapped his hands and jumped off the bed, ready to escape again, "let's go do something fun."

* * *

The Valeyard paced in his office. He noticed that Rose was doing the same thing in his room. She seemed to have a light, gold aura around her; vortex energy being released in her highly agitated state. Proof that she had the power in her. Proof that she could do so much, save so much, be so much. At the moment he wanted to walk in there and shake her to make her see sense. Why was she making everything so difficult? Why did she insist on being so stubborn? Didn't she know she could save herself a lot of pain and misery by just helping him?

"Dammit!" he turned and punched the wall. The drywall cracked and a nice hole formed where his fist had made contact. It surprised him how much it hurt. He looked at his bleeding knuckles curiously. He was no stranger to pain but he had not expected it to hurt like it did. He shook his hand a little and began pacing again. This little human, or whatever she actually was, was going to drive him mental.

There was a knock on the door. The Valeyard did not want to be bothered. He grabbed the door handle and yanked it open. The door slammed against the wall with a loud bang. The agent at the door jumped slightly.

"What do you want?" the Valeyard demanded.

"There was an alien landing not far from London. We're not sure what it is or what it wants."

"Go get it and bring it here," the Valeyard snarled and slammed the door in the agent's face. He forced himself to take a deep breath. Maybe a rogue alien was what he needed. He needed to vent his rage somewhere and this alien was the perfect opportunity.

* * *

Rose stood in the huge shower in the Valeyard's bathroom. It was a six foot by six foot shower with shower-heads that poured down like rain. Jets were set into the walls to spray waters horizontally and when you stood in the middle you were hit by water on all sides. There was also a bench seat against one wall that also had the rain showers. Rose moved over to it and sat down under one of the faucets. The warm water felt wonderful and for a moment she chose to simply sit there trying to just be.

She knew she had made the Valeyard angry earlier and she feared that anger. Would he actually give her 48 more hours? He was so unpredictable. His rages were fierce and he didn't hold back his power. In those moments, he was the Oncoming Storm. With the Doctor she was able to help him control his anger. She could bring him back to reality, to remember what he stood for and why he chose his name. But with the Valeyard she had been unable to do anything to stop him. When dealing with aliens who threatened him and Earth he would instantly become violent. In the beginning he went by the name of Doctor but all too soon he had stopped being the Doctor.

They had been on a mission with Torchwood when she died for the first time. It had been a shock for both of them. Everything had gone downhill from there.

_Rose sat up quickly, gasping for breath. The Doctor hovered over her with worry written all over his face. He held her head in his hands before kissing her fiercely. She melted into that kiss, the kiss from the man she loved. And he was a damn good kisser at that. She wrapped her arms around his neck and he pulled her to a standing position. He seemed to need to touch her, to know she was real._

" _What happened?" Rose asked when they finally broke apart._

" _Do you not remember?" the Doctor asked. He began looking her over, looking for signs of injury or pain. "You were just impaled by flying debris from the collapsing building." He pointed to her left where a shard of metal lay covered in blood._

" _Huh. I don't remember that." Her head felt funny and trying to remember hurt._

" _Rose, you were dead. Then you started to glow gold and the metal just fell out. The gold became more intense and you disappeared into it."_

" _Gold?"_

" _Yes! Gold light and dust. Then all of a sudden it disappeared and there you were, laying there alive and breathing."_

" _What does this mean?"_

_The Doctor ran his hands through his hair. He looked her over once more, closely examining when the metal rod had entered her body. Rose could practically see his mind working, trying to figure out a complex problem he could not understand._

" _I don't know how this is possible but…I think you regenerated."_

_The words were shocking to hear. Regenerated? But she couldn't possibly regenerate. She wasn't a Time Lord. Rose put her hands on her chest and found only one heartbeat. She almost didn't believe that she had died until she looked down at her clothes. They were torn to shreds and covered in blood. She looked up at the Doctor in confusion and fear._

" _Doctor. I still have one heart. I still look like me. What does this mean?" she asked, "What does this mean?"_

" _I don't know. But we are going to find out."_

Rose pulled herself out of the memory. She didn't want to think anymore. She didn't want to dwell in memories and feelings. She wanted to sink into the warmth of the water and just be. Her wolf appeared, smaller than before, and lay down next to rose on the bench. She rested her head on Rose's leg and let out a little growl. It was a playful growl and the sound was soothing. Rose rested her head on the shower wall, closed her eyes, and simply existed.


	7. Chapter 7

Rose lay back on the grassy hill. She didn't know what planet she was on but it had three suns and the grass was a rusty orange. Mountains stood in the distance and the breeze made the heat from the suns bearable. Laying here was absolutely wonderful. The scenery was beautiful and relaxing. She took in a deep breath and reveled in the feeling of her lungs expanding.

_Peace. This is was peace feels like._

Gold light flashed a woman appeared before Rose. It was the same woman Rose had seen the last time she had been on this planet. Her hair was black and messy and her dress seemed a little out there. Rose frowned at the woman. Here she was again, interrupting her peace.

"Rose Tyler."

"That's me," Rose replied shortly.

"I need you to listen to me."

"I really don't want to hear it. I just want to sit here and enjoy myself. Go away."

"Rose Tyler, you must listen to me. You are needed. Bad Wolf is needed."

"Who are you?" Rose asked as she sat up.

"I'm the TARDIS." The woman sank down next to Rose on the grass so they were at eye level.

"You're the TARDIS? What are you doing here?"

"You need to get back home. The Doctor needs you."

Rose's face instantly went flat. "I think the Doctor can do just fine without me."

The TARDIS shook her head sadly. "No, he cannot."

"Look, I don't really care anymore. I've stopped caring a long time ago. My focus right now is to get home."

The TARDIS nodded. She had a grave expression on her face. Rose wondered why she chose such an eccentric form. "You must save my sister. Once she is strong enough, you can use her to travel across the Void to get home."

"You're sister? As in the TARDIS here? I don't even know how to save her."

"You have always had the ability. You are Rose Tyler _and_ Bad Wolf. Use the power of Bad Wolf to save her. Come home."

"But I can't access all of her power. How am I supposed to save her?"

"You will discover the way." The TARDIS stood. "But you must be careful. The power of Bad Wolf is strong and can overwhelming. Do not let yourself to become lost in the power. And another thing, you cannot allow the Valeyard to use you. Do not give in to him. He must stay in this universe. You must cross the Void alone."

Rose stood also. Her brain felt like it was being overwhelmed with this information. She desperately wanted to know more but she also felt that she could not take it.

"I can't escape him."

The TARDIS took Rose's hands in hers and smiled. "You can do anything you set your mind too. Save my sister and come home. I miss my Wolf." And with that, the TARDIS disappeared in a flash of gold light.

* * *

The Doctor sat in Central Park, looking at the last pages of "The Angel's Kiss" written by Melody Malone. His hearts felt like they were being ripped from his body. The Ponds were gone. He was all alone. How could this have happened again? Why did one Angel have to survive? It was his curse. He was cursed to forever lose those he loved. Rose, Martha, Donna, Rory, and Amy were his most recent. But the list of people lost was long. So very long.

And why? Why was this curse still following him? Was it his actions in the Time War? It had to be. It was the only explanation.

He was tired, so tired of the pain that plagued him. It was time to retire. No more saving the world. No more companions. No more risking innocent lives. It would be him and his TARDIS. His TARDIS, his constant companion. At least she never left him. She would always be there for him and he would always be there for her.

He made his way slowly towards his TARDIS, contemplating on whether or not he should throw the book away. He had such a strong desire to chuck it into the Hudson River and banish any memories of Amy again. But he had one stop to make before he went into his isolation. There was a girl in a garden waiting for him.

* * *

The Valeyard walked into his office and threw away the paper towels he had been using to dry his hands. Blood could be so difficult to get off sometimes. He'd gotten nothing useful out of the alien other than an attempt to destroy London. The creature hadn't held up well in interrogation so the Valeyard had mercifully ended his life. Then he sent his agents off after any others left on the planet. He didn't really care too much about an alien invasion but while he was living here he didn't want to deal with the difficulties. It's best to exterminate the little buggers before they became an issue.

One positive outcome of the interrogation was he had managed to calm down. He turned on the video stream for his rooms and found Rose sleeping again. He was getting tired of sitting in this room staring at her instead of actually being with her. She was running out of time. She needed to make a decision.

He rewound the feed and stopped when he found Rose sitting in his shower. She was beautiful. Her hair, now a natural blonde after her first regeneration, was plastered to her skin and water rolled down her naked body. The Valeyard groaned. It had been so very long since he'd touched her intimately. He just wanted to be with her, hold her in his arms, feel her body tremble with pleasure, be inside her. The need to be with her body and mind was becoming unbearable.

Rose stood and turned off the shower faucets. She grabbed the towel and wrapped it around her body. He switched cameras and followed her movements through his bedroom. He hadn't laid any clothes out on the bed for her this time. He wanted her to see something.

Rose stepped towards the dresser and opened the top drawer. It was full of knickers and bras. She closed that drawer and moved down one. The second drawer had jeans folded neatly in stacks. The drawer below her jeans was full of night gowns and big t-shirts. Each successive drawer was filled with more clothes for her.

She stepped back, a look of shock on her face. It made the Valeyard smile. She turned to the closet and walked in. He switched cameras again and watched her eyes widen. His walk-in closet had changed. It was no longer only his things that occupied the space. Half of the closet contained dresses, gown, jackets, and more. A whole section of the wall was dedicated to shoes of all kinds.

Rose sat down on the bench in the middle of the closet. Her mouth was open. The Valeyard bathed in her shock and awe. He had done this while she had been sleeping the previous night. He'd added a little bit of sedative to her meal so she wouldn't wake while he worked.

He watched Rose stand and go back to the main bedroom. She grabbed a pair of knickers and a big t-shirt. She dressed and climbed into his king-size bed. Rose lay there not moving, obviously deep in thought. He watched her until she eventually fell asleep. Then he turned off the monitor and sighed.

The memory of their first time together was sharp in the Valeyard's mind. He could never forget that first night when they'd finally given in to their need for more.

_Rose stood in the kitchen, cleaning up their dishes from the dinner they had managed to cook. The Doctor was not used to the domestic scene and he was finding cooking to be particularly challenging. Rose had tried to help but so far their attempts had not been very successful. Tonight they'd managed a simple pasta with red sauce and tried to bake some bread sticks. The pasta was good. The bread sticks were stuck to the cooking sheet and Rose was still trying to scrap the stuck portions off._

" _One day we will manage to get this right," Rose said as she scrubbed with all her strength. The Doctor stood back, looking amused. She looked very cute, working so hard to clean a pan that seemed beyond repair._

" _We could just throw it away and buy a new one," the Doctor suggested._

_Rose turned and gave him a scathing look. "No! I will fix this," she told him firmly and turned her back to him._

_The Doctor smiled and walked up behind her, pulling her into a tight embrace. They had been going very slow but the slow pace was beginning to drive him mad. Rose froze in his arms before relaxing against him. He reached over and turned the water off for her. She turned in his arms and looked deep into his eyes. He knew in that moment that she was as ready as he was._

_Their lips met, softly at first, before deepening into a passionate kiss neither had experienced before. Rose pressed her body into his and ran her fingers through his hair. He reveled in the feel of her hands and the closeness. They began to make their way clumsily to the bedroom. There were a few run-ins with the walls but they only laughed and continued their passionate kissing._

_Rose pulled back from the Doctor and he groaned. His breathing was ragged and he forced himself to pause to simply take in her beauty. Rose smiled at him, sticking her tongue between her teeth._

" _Are you sure?" the Doctor asked. Rose nodded and that's all he needed. He kicked off his trainers, threw his jacket unceremoniously onto the floor and began to unbutton his shirt._

" _No," Rose said and she beckoned him to her. He couldn't resist her. "Let me."_

_She slowly undid each button, obviously enjoying the tension she was creating. Her fingers brushed his bare chest and he jerked forward. She smiled again and slowly, ever so slowly, peeled her shirt off. His body tightened and he couldn't take it anymore. His lips crashed down on hers as he pushed her down on the bed. He growled at the clothes that impeded their progress. Rose actually laughed._

_And then Rose lay beneath him, naked and glorious. Their eyes met and the Doctor naturally reached out with him mind like he would with another Time Lord. To his shock and wonder, her mind met his. Sensations overwhelmed him but what he felt most was love, her love for him. Rose's eyes widened as she felt his mind connect with hers. He smiled and entered her slowly. She let out a gasp of surprise and he paused, letting her get used to the feel of him._

_He went slowly at first, allowing her to become accustomed to his presence. She urged him to go faster and he didn't need telling twice. He moved faster, building into a smooth rhythm. Rose moved with him flawlessly. They were one, together, mind, body, and soul. The Doctor had never felt so close with anyone else before._

_Rose let out a gasp as the orgasm tore through her body and she called his name. A moment later the Doctor joined her in the spiral of pleasure. For a moment they just lay there, trembling, listening to the sound of their heavy breathing. The Doctor retreated from Rose's mind. It was almost painful to break that connection. He rolled over and lay on the bed next to her._

" _Well, I'd say our relationship has gone to the next level," Rose said. He heard the smile by her tone._

" _Yes. I would have to agree with you."_

_They broke out laughing. Rose rolled over and laid her head on his chest. He felt at peace in that moment and he never wanted it to end._

" _I love you Doctor," Rose said after a while._

" _I love you too Rose Tyler."_

The Valeyard smiled. Such a good memory. He could replay it in his mind perfectly. How he wanted to experience that with her again. He had put clothes for Rose into his room so she could feel at home. He needed her to be comfortable, to accept him, to love him again. It had been a long two years. Her time was running out and in the end she would bend to his will. He would have Rose and Bad Wolf and they would work together, be together, and run together once more.

* * *

Rose woke from her odd dream when she felt the bed move. She remained still and kept her breathing regular. Her back was to whoever was on the other side of the bed. It had to be the Valeyard. What was he doing here? What did he want? The familiar feeling of fear crept over her but she forced herself to stay calm.

The Valeyard moved her hair from her face gently and brushed his lips over her cheek.

"I love you so much," he breathed into her ear. The bed moved once more as he made himself comfortable.

Rose rolled over and looked at his silhouette. It hurt to be so close to him. Her heart and mind couldn't agree and it was driving her mad. How could she possibly decide what to do? And what about her dream? Why did she continue to have such odd dreams? And were they real? Did she actually dream of the TARDIS? Was it just her missing the TARDIS after the run-in with the baby TARDIS? What in the hell was she going to do?

She sighed and forced her mind to stop thinking. Sleep. She needed sleep. Rose laid there until she floated away into unconsciousness.


	8. Chapter 8

Rose woke slowly. She had slept unbelievably well. It took her a moment to realize that her head was not resting on a pillow. She sat up quickly and moved to opposite corner of the bed. The Valeyard was lying there smiling at her retreat. Rose felt the panic rising in her but she forced herself to remain calm.

"How did you sleep?" he asked as he sat up slowly.

Rose didn't reply. She didn't know what to say. Being this close to him without knowing what he wanted was setting her on edge.

The Valeyard ignored her silence. "Personally, I haven't slept that well in over two years." He got out of bed and Rose was thankful to see he was wearing long pajama pants. She watched him carefully, not letting him out of her sight.

"I'm going to go take a shower. Want to join me?" he gave her a wicked smile. "Of course you don't. But that's okay. Just sit here and figure out what you want to do today."

This broke Rose's silence, "What?"

"We are going to do something fun today. I want you to decide what you want to do. We can go to the cinema or go for a picnic. Think about it and let me know what you would like to do."

Rose opened her mouth the reply but couldn't find the words. The Valeyard gave her a quick smile and went into the bathroom. Rose could only stare after him. Her mind was reeling. These sudden mood swings of the Valeyard's were giving her whiplash.

She didn't move for the duration of the Valeyard's shower. Her mind was oddly blank. When he came out of the bathroom, he wore only a towel around his waist. Rose forced herself to look away from him. He may have the body of the man she had once loved but he was not the man she had fallen in love with.

He went into the closet to get dressed and reappeared in his usual black suit. "It's a gorgeous day outside. Would you like to go to the park?"

"What's the catch?" Rose asked suspiciously.

"No catch. You haven't been in the sun for a while now. I think the fresh air would do you some good. It will certainly help clear your mind. Now, get dressed in something comfortable. It's a bit windy."

Once the Valeyard left, Rose began the slow process of getting ready. It had been so long since she'd had to get dressed and be presentable to the outside world. It felt odd to pick out regular clothes and put trainers on her feet. She decided on a simple pair of jeans and a soft green sweater. The materials felt odd on her skin. Her body just wasn't used to regular clothes anymore.

The Valeyard returned a few minutes after Rose was done getting ready. He held out his arm and Rose placed her hand at the crook of his elbow. At first she was hesitant. She was so close to him and it made her feel very uncomfortable; in the end she was grateful for it. The trainers made her clumsy, her feet unused to being constrained. It took her a little while to get used to walking with them again. The Valeyard was patient and helped her by walking slowly down the winding halls.

When they finally made it to the front doors of the Torchwood building, Rose paused. She was afraid again. Was this a trick? What was he planning? The Valeyard seemed to know what she was thinking and smiled at her.

"This is not a trick my love. Let's go." Then he opened the door.

Fresh air washed over her. She stepped out into the sun and stood there in awe. It had been so long since she had seen the outside world. So long since she had felt the sun on her face. A smile broke on her face and she laughed. The laughter sounded odd to her ears. How long had it been since she'd laughed?

The Valeyard helped her into the black SUV before climbing into the driver's seat. Rose felt like a child again, discovering the world for the first time. She touched the leather of the interior, rubbed her palms over the smooth dashboard, felt the air blow from the a/c vents. She rolled down her window and stuck her head out as the Valeyard pulled away from the tower and towards their destination.

Rose forced herself to take everything in. There were people, real people. Pedestrians walked on the sidewalk, going about their business. A child was having a temper tantrum in front of a shop. His mother seemed unfazed by his tears; instead she seemed to be telling him off for making a scene. These people would never know the secrets of the true world. They wouldn't know about aliens and Time Lords and the many things she had experienced.

For a moment she envied their ignorance. But she couldn't stay envious for long. The Doctor had opened her eyes to the universe and she could never go back to her old life, working in a shop, barely making ends-meet. Despite her awful situation, she didn't regret accepting the Doctor's offer to travel through space and time with him.

They pulled into a park full of trees and grass. The Valeyard helped her out of the car and went to the boot to get the picnic basket. Rose remained rooted to the spot. The gravel beneath her feet crunched when she moved. It was such an odd sound. She picked up a rock and wondered at the texture of it. It was small and rough and Rose was fascinated by it. She could not explain why she found this little rock so interesting. Instead of searching for the answer, she simply slipped the rock into her pocket.

The Valeyard walked through the grass until they came to a clearing. Rose followed him slowly, trying to take everything in. She took a deep breath and reveled in the feel of the air in her lungs. While the Valeyard laid out the blanket and unpacked the basket, Rose stood in the grass with her arms spread out and her head thrown back. The wind ran its fingers through her untidy blonde hair, tossing it about like a playful child. She smiled again and soaked in all the sensations: the sun warming her face, the wind in her air, the laughter of the children on the football field, the solidity of the earth beneath her feet.

"Are you hungry?" the Valeyard asked after a while.

Rose seemed to come back to reality and look at the Valeyard. He had given her a gift. She felt alive for the first time in so long. She hadn't even realized how much she had missed all of this. Despite everything he'd done to her, she couldn't help but feel grateful. In the back of her mind she knew something was up but at the moment she didn't care.

She joined him on the blanket and dug in to the food he'd brought. She kept her mind in the present. She forced herself to forget the horrors of the past and the possibilities of the future. She was Rose Tyler and she was alive. This was a normal day and she was with a normal guy. The Valeyard was not a part-human part-Time Lord and Rose was not a being with untapped power.

The Valeyard followed her lead and pretended to be the man he wasn't. He pretended that he was on a simple date with a fantastic woman. He was doing this for Rose. Rose needed this. She needed to remember what her life could be like if she made the right decision.

They talked about nothing and watched the football game in the distance. Eventually Rose fell silent and lay back on the grass. The Valeyard didn't push her into conversation. Instead he lay next to her, his head almost touching hers. Both stared up at the cloudless sky, letting their thoughts wander away.

Rose wasn't sure what she was going to do. Her dream with the TARDIS still came to mind but she wasn't sure if it was simply a dream or if the TARDIS had really visited her. Every fiber of her being wanted to help the baby TARDIS in Torchwood tower but at what cost? She'd be giving into the Valeyard at last. True, these past few days had been wonderful. He had treated her well and had provided her with comfortable bed, clothes, and regular showers. But how long would that last?

_If he starts torturing me again, will I survive with my mind intact?_

The Valeyard could practically feel Rose's mind turning next to him. She was thinking hard which is what he wanted her to do. In his mind, the decision was a simple one. Who would choose the torture over the comfort and love? But this was Rose he was talking about and she was beyond complicated. It was one of the reasons he loved her. Whatever her decision, he would get what he wanted in the end. He was a patient man. It comes with being a Time Lord and despite his single heart he was a Time Lord.

When the sun began to sink in the sky, they proceeded to clean up their little picnic. Rose was still in turmoil. The decision should be easy. It should be but there was some small part in her that was stubborn, that didn't want to give in. Giving in to the Valeyard would mean he'd won. But how could she go back after getting a taste of what her life could truly be.

They drove back in silence. Rose didn't look around in wonder again. She was going back to her prison. When she stepped out of the car and through the doors, Rose cast one last look behind her before the world was closed off to her.

The Valeyard didn't say anything as they walked through the corridors. Rose followed him meekly; her mind racing as she wondered what was going to happen next. It was decision time. He would be expecting her answer. But what was her answer? What was her answer?

He stopped next to a door. It was like any other door but Rose knew where she was. She recognized it. She had been down this particular hallways many times. This door had been thrown open many times before. It was her old room. Icy fear coursed through her veins. What was he planning? She looked to his face but it was blank, betraying none of his thoughts.

"It's time for you to decide what you are going to do Miss Tyler." He gave her a piercing stare and took a step forward, looming over her.

"I-I don't know," Rose stammered. She backed up until she was flat against the wall. She could feel his anger like a weight pressing down around her.

"I've given you plenty of time. Maybe you need a little more persuasion?"

"No! Please no," she cried. The Valeyard took another step towards her. She couldn't escape. She slid down the wall and curled into a ball with her arms over her head.

He snapped his fingers and two agents appeared. They grabbed each of her arms and pulled her up. She struggled fruitlessly. The two agents weren't even fazed by her struggles. The Valeyard looked at her with dead eyes; all his emotions and thoughts were pulled behind a veil and he had become the monster. Rose was intimately familiar with the monster.

"Take her," he said flatly.

Rose screamed. "Please no! Valeyard, please. Please!" The agents were dragging her. Rose tried to kick and wrench from their grasp but it was no use. She was going back to the torture room. The room with the drain. The room full of her blood and tears. Tears began to fall freely as her terror mounted.

The door opened and they strapped Rose onto a table. Someone pressed a button and the table began rise until it was completely vertical. Rose cried and begged but it fell onto deaf ears. A man walked in with a tray full of metal instruments and a blow torch. It didn't take much to imagine what would be in store for her.

"God please stop. Please don't."

The man ignored her. He seemed perfectly at ease, not even caring about what he was going to be doing. He placed the tray on the table and pulled on a pair of latex gloves. Rose watched as he picked up one metal instrument and began to heat it with the torch. The metal glowed red hot at the tip. Rose strained against her bonds as he moved closer to her.

"No. I'm begging you. Please. Please!"

The man pressed the hot metal rod against her skin. Rose screamed out in agony. The metal seared her flesh and when the rod was pulled away, so was part of her skin. The pain was all consuming. Again and again the metal was pressed against her skin. Her stomach. Her legs. Her arms. Her chest.

"Valeyard!" Rose called out desperately. She couldn't take it anymore.

The door opened again and Rose looked up to see the Valeyard walk in. He seemed as calm as the man with the metal. Rose met his eyes and saw that they were still flat. He was still the monster. But monster or not, she was done.

"Yes?"

"Okay," Rose's voice cracked. She swallowed painfully and held the Valeyard's gaze. "I'll do anything. Just get me out of here. Please."

As if her words at triggered something in his mind, the Valeyard's entire demeanor changed. He wasn't stiff and his eyes were full of life again. He smiled at her and any trace of the monster within him disappeared.

Rose felt something inside her break.


	9. Chapter 9

The Valeyard unstrapped Rose from the table and caught her before she fell to the ground. He lifted her in his arms and carried her to the next room. It was set up as a mini-hospital. The Valeyard placed Rose gently on the hospital bed and then moved about the room, gathering materials from drawers.

"What are you doing?" Rose asked wearily. Pain still jabbed at her with every breath. She lay on her back, trying to clear her head and accept the reality of what she had just done.

"I'm going to kill you again," he said simply.

For some reason Rose found she wasn't surprised. Being weak wouldn't help him or the TARDIS. He needed her back to her healthy self. She welcomed death. She'd wanted to die for many months now but he hadn't allowed it. He'd always brought her to the brink of death before backing off. That, in and of itself, was torture.

"Okay."

The Valeyard filled a syringe full of sedative and another filled with poison. The poison would enter her system and stop her heart. She wouldn't feel any pain and it would make her regeneration quicker and less messy.

"Now Rose, we must come to an agreement. I've saved you from my agents but you can always go back. I want your word that you will not disobey me and you will not try to run away. You have to agree to work with me to save the TARDIS and to return to our universe."

"You know I will listen to you Valeyard. I said I would." Rose told him. She didn't want to go back to the hell that was her life for the last year.

The Valeyard's smile wasn't kind; it was sharp and calculating.

"I'd rather not chance it." He put his hands on her temples and pushed into her mind with his. Rose gasped as he pushed through her feeble defenses. He stared deep into her eyes. Gold flared and he knew he was looking at the Wolf. Her gold wolf appeared at Rose's side but he ignored it and its growling.

Rose's mental defenses, once so strong, were weak and easily penetrable. She didn't stand a chance. The Wolf fought but the Valeyard was bound and determined to make sure she obeyed. He would not lose this battle.

"Rose Tyler, give me your word that you will obey all of my commands."

Rose struggled mentally but was completely immobile. The wolf pressed against Rose's thigh but the strength she tried to provide was not enough to prevent the Valeyard.

"I will," she said.

"You will do everything in your power to help me heal and grow the TARDIS and get us back to our universe."

"I will."

"You will be my wife and love me again." The Valeyard bore down on Rose's mind as he said this command.

Rose fought. A part of her was slipping away. He was taking her free will away. Was this his goal all along? Could he force her to love him again? She tried to keep the words in but they came of their own accord.

"I will."

"You are bound to me," the Valeyard said, holding on to her mind while he plunged the needled into her arm, emptying the sedative into her body. Rose's struggled against the encroaching darkness. She didn't know what was going to happen. Who would she be when she woke from this regeneration? Would her oaths mean anything after her body had been seared and healed by the regeneration energy?

A small part of her knew the answer. The Valeyard knew what he was doing. He was a Time Lord after all. She would awake with her oaths firmly in place in her mind.

_I'm sorry,_ she said to Bad Wolf, _I'm not strong enough._

Rose felt the warmth of her wolf by her side before falling into darkness.

* * *

The Doctor stood his bathroom, his hands on either side of the sink, his eyes focused on the mirror on the wall. He looked pale and diminished. His eyes were sunken and it was obvious that he'd not slept in a very long time. Sadness engulfed him as he thought of his losses and his current situation. This sadness didn't last long; instead being replaced by rage. It overwhelmed him, making his body shake. He punched the mirror with all his strength and it shattered into hundreds of pieces. Pain struck him as the mirror fragments split the skin on his knuckles. He stared at the blood in shock.

"Fuck. That hurts a bit," he said to no one. He'd gotten into the habit of talking to himself. It wasn't a good habit and he had a feeling that his isolation would eventually drive him crazy. At the moment he didn't care. Craziness would be better than the hollow, empty feeling in his chest.

He wrapped his hand in a bandage and made his way to the console room. At least he had the TARDIS. If only she could respond to his questions. If only she could talk to him as she had when she'd been contained inside the human woman.

There were a few loose wires under one of the control panels that needed fixing. He sat down and pulled out his screwdriver. Fixing the TARDIS had become his life. Tinkering and working on any possible problems filled the hours of loneliness. He felt like a different person now. He'd even stopped wearing bowties. What did it matter anymore? What did anything matter?

His mind did wander back to the girl he'd met earlier in the day. He'd been on the ground for an errand and happened to meet her, Clara. It was a nice name. She had sparked his interested for a moment but he was determined not to get pulled in by another person.

The snowmen bothered him as well. Something odd was going on.

"Not my problem," the Doctor said forcefully and put Clara and the snowmen out of his mind. He gave up on tinkering and grabbed a book. Books were good distractions.

The phone rang and he looked at it evilly. Madame Vastra knew he did not want to be bothered. What could the reptilian woman want? Or was it Potato Dwarf again? The Doctor always answered her calls but he hated it.

"Yes? What? I'm trying to read."

"Miss Clara and her concerns about the snow," Vastra said, "I gave her the one word test."

The Doctor snorted. "That's always pointless. What did she say? Well? Well?

Vastra paused for a moment before answering. "Pond."

Shock shot through the Doctor's body.

"Strax has already suggested where to start investigating."

* * *

The Valeyard caught Rose as unconsciousness overcame her. He laid her gently on the bed and looked at her with a smile on his face. He moved her hair out of her face to see her fully. She was beautiful, even in her weakened state.

The gold wolf didn't disappear when Rose blacked out. Instead she grew larger and let out a low, ominous growl. The Valeyard looked at the wolf with a raised eyebrow. Her hackles were raised, her back humped, and her lupine lips were pulled back, revealing long teeth. He knew that the wolf was some sort of manifestation of Bad Wolf. He would have thought she'd disappear when Rose went under.

"Calm down Wolf. I'm not going to do anything to her."

She snarled again and took a step towards him. The Valeyard simply looked into the gold eyes with a bored expression on his face. He felt a tingle of fear run down his spine but he wouldn't let it show. He didn't know if Bad Wolf would hurt him. Could the gold wolf even hurt him? Rose had just bound herself to him but he wasn't sure how deep the connection was with her alter ego. Rose seemed to only have a small amount of access to the time energy except when she regenerated and the time she'd sent her family into the Vortex.

"Emotions!" the Valeyard cried in exhilaration. "Of course. How could I be so stupid?"

Every time Rose had been in a highly emotional state, her access to the Time Vortex grew wider. He'd seen it for himself. She'd had a gold aura just the other day. Her eyes flashed with gold when her emotions were high, especially angry. The wolf appeared when Rose needed comfort or in her defense. Everything came back to Rose's feelings, her deep emotions. She'd looked into the heart of the TARDIS to save him, risking her life for him for God's sake. All of it seemed to trigger Bad Wolf into action.

If only he knew how to access it. Bad Wolf had to be hidden in the recesses of her mind. He should be able to find it with enough searching. Bad Wolf had to be behind some sort of protective wall. Her power was strong and could possibly overpower Rose so a wall had to have been constructed to protect Rose.

These revelations were like a breath of fresh air. Finally. Finally he was getting somewhere. He was moving forward with Rose. He was finally back on the road towards his goal; no longer waiting at the rest stop. It had been a long wait. It had been torturously long. But now he had Rose on his side. Rose's oaths bound her to him. Her resistance was gone and they could work together now without her fighting him tooth and nail.

The gold wolf had leapt onto the bed, hovering over Rose. The Valeyard looked at her before picking up the syringe filled with the poison. Apparently she didn't want him to kill Rose. How odd considering that it would help Rose. He looked at the wolf curiously.

"I'm only going to help her," he told the wolf.

The wolf let out a low warning growl. He ignored it and stepped closer to Rose, ready to get a move on. She finally settled on Rose's chest rested her head between her paws. Her ears remained erect and her eyes followed the Valeyard's every movement. The Valeyard didn't know what to make of it but decided he didn't care.

He plunged the needle into her arm and emptied the syringe with the push of his finger. In a few minutes her body would absorb the poison and slowly stop her heart. He watched the wolf, wondering what would happen to her when Rose died. They stared into each other's eyes and waited. After a few minutes the wolf rose, lifted her head back, and let out a long howl. Her song spread through the room, wrapping around the Valeyard. He felt it deep in his soul. It was a song of protection, a song of love, a song of beauty, a calling.

The wolf began to glow. Gold light surrounded her and soon encased Rose. As the golden aura began to surround them both, the howl grew louder, as if calling to someone or something. The Valeyard had to step back from the bright light of the energy. He raised his arm to protect his eyes from the brilliance radiating from the hospital bed. This was not a normal regeneration. He'd seen every regeneration Rose had had. This seemed stronger, deeper, more healing than the others.

The gold light turned white and the Valeyard had to shut his eyes to prevent himself from going blind. He could feel the time energy and the heat. It was a wonderful feeling to be so close to it. He felt for a moment as if he was standing in his TARDIS again, floating through the Vortex. In the distance he felt something new. It was the growing TARDIS, reaching towards Rose telepathically. He didn't know how he knew, but he did. The baby TARDIS felt stronger than ever before and he laughed. Whatever was going on was, it felt as good to his TARDIS as it did for him.

Eventually the blinding light dimmed and he was able to open his eyes. Rose hovered in the air, surrounded in a cocoon of gold light and dust. Her hair moved as if in a strong wind. For a long moment she floated there, looking at peace in her sleep. Slowly the cocoon lowered and vanished. Rose lay on the bed looking completely healthy. All scars had vanished and her famished body was filled out. She looked healthy and alive.

Suddenly she bolted upright and gasped. She looked around her for in panic. It was always like that when she regenerated. She'd forget where she was and what had happened. It usually took a few breaths before she calmed down and came back to reality.

Rose's mind finally settled down and she could concentrate. Hospital room? Yes. How? Not a real hospital, just a medical room. The Valeyard had brought her. Valeyard? Who? Where?

"I'm right here Rose," the Valeyard said softly.

Rose's eyes met his and reality slammed into place. Memories flooded back and normality returned.

"How do you feel?"

Rose checked in with her body. She felt great! She hadn't felt so good in such a long time. She stretched, enjoying the feel of each muscle and its strength.

"I'm good. I'm really good," Rose told him and smiled. Finally she was normal again. Finally she was truly alive again. She wasn't stuck in a body that could barely function. She wanted to dance, wanted to sing, wanted to run down the halls and rejoice. This euphoric feeling wouldn't last long and she wanted savor ever moment of it.

"Fantastic."

Rose looked at him sharply, instantly reminded of the man with the leather jacket and the big ears. The Valeyard knew the word would trigger a response and he smiled. Her first Doctor held a spot in her heart. He was the first and he had saved her. Her love with the second was just as strong but the man with the goofy ears had started it all.

"Let's go get you changed and get you something to eat."

The Valeyard held out his hand and Rose looked at it suspiciously. What was he up too?

_He loves you and wants to take care of you,_ a voice spoke in her mind. _You love him too._

Yes, she did love him. Right? Why did that thought feel so wrong?

"Rose?"

Rose took his hand and hopped off the bed. He smiled at her and she felt herself smile back. It felt natural and unnatural simultaneously. What was going on? Why did she feel so different?

_There is nothing different. Go with the Valeyard and be happy with the man you love._

Rose wasn't sure if she liked this new voice in her head but she figured it had to do with the new regeneration. It would calm down and everything would be fine. Right?

_Right._


	10. Chapter 10

The room was white with a thick, dark blue rug covering some of the hard tile floor. Two wooden chairs with straight backs sat in the middle of the room facing each other. Rose occupied one of these uncomfortable chairs; the Valeyard occupied the other.

"Valeyard," Rose whined, "What are we doing in this boring room?"

The Valeyard smiled. "This room is boring for a reason. It helps lessen distractions. Patience love. We are trying to get access to Bad Wolf so we can figure out how to help the TARDIS and get home."

Rose crossed her arms over her chest and frowned. It was an extremely childish move but Rose didn't seem to care. She didn't want to work right in the moment. She wanted to be with the Valeyard and she wanted to do something fun.

"Can we do something else first? I just regenerated. I have all this pent up energy and I want to use it. We should do something fun. Or something dangerous," Rose's eyes glowed gold for a moment, "There has to be some kind of alien problem going on right now."

The Valeyard rolled his eyes while noting the flash of gold at the mention of danger.

"No. And even if there were, my agents can take care of it. Now, please, sit still."

Rose didn't move. She found that she couldn't, the idea of moving would be horrible. If the Valeyard wanted to stay still, she would. It was odd. She'd never really followed anyone's commands. She'd been physically carried away when she refused to leave the Doctor on Krop Tor. She'd looked into the TARDIS when the Doctor sent her away. Despite all that, she felt that it would be devastating if she did go against the Valeyard's commands.

_It's because you love him. You don't want him to be unhappy._

Rose scowled. That voice again. What was that voice? Of course it was right. She had to obey the Valeyard. That's what he wanted. But was it right? She'd stopped loving him a long time ago. And he'd tortured her for so long. How could she love him?

_You've always loved him. You've just been running away from the feelings that scare you._

She wanted to tell the voice to shut up. It was making everything so much more confusing. She couldn't trust her thoughts or emotions anymore. This regeneration had to be different. She felt different. The voice was the most unsettling. It also bothered her that she couldn't remember what happened right before she regenerated. That had happened before but she'd never lost so much time. The last thing she could remember was the Valeyard saying he was going to kill her. Something told her that more had happened but no matter how hard she tried, she couldn't remember.

"What's the matter?" the Valeyard asked.

Rose shook her head like a dog shaking off water. "I don't know. I feel weird. This regeneration is off. Something is different. I don't understand."

The Valeyard knew this regeneration had been different but he still wasn't sure what had actually happened. He couldn't explain it to Rose. Hell, he couldn't really explain it to himself. But he knew one thing; he would not tell her of her oaths. She didn't remember them and he did not plan on informing her.

"Nothing is different. You're still you. It's just been awhile since you've regenerated. You'll get used to it."

Rose didn't think she would.

_You will get used to it. Trust him._

But then again, she would.

"Now, pay attention. We are going to try and access Bad Wolf. I need you to relax as I enter your mind."

"Okay," Rose said nervously.

The Valeyard put his hands over Rose's temples and closed his eyes. He reached out and moved past the weak barriers of her mind. Rose automatically reached out with her mind but found she could not move past any of the walls around his. It frustrated her to no end. She wanted that connection. It had been so long since she'd been able to reach out telepathically and now that she was actually willing to do it, the Valeyard wouldn't let her in.

The Valeyard felt Rose pushing against his mind but he ignored it. He wanted to connect with her like they used to but right now his main focus was getting to Bad Wolf. He didn't want to hurt Rose so he moved slowly, trying to be careful of how hard he pushed. Finally he found what he was looking for.

He could see a wall in the back of Rose's mind. It was the same golden hue of her wolf and her regenerations. There were large cracks in the containing wall and he knew that if he could push past those cracks, they'd have complete access to Bad Wolf. The wall must have been erected when he thought he'd taken all of the time energy from her on that fateful day. Bad Wolf must have hidden behind it until Rose regenerated the first time. It would make sense that cracks were forming as she gained access to more and more of the Bad Wolf's power.

Rose tried to remain as calm as possible. It felt so weird to have him so deep inside her mind. She had to force herself not to fight him. It was so intrusive and part of her, a very small part, was furious at what he was doing.

_There is no need for anger. You want him to do this. You want to save the TARDIS and go home._

She thought about it for a moment and realized that she did want him to do this. He would be able to help her use Bad Wolf's power. Rose longed for that. She could remember when she'd become Bad Wolf. It had been amazing but dreadful at the same time. There had been so much pain. She wondered if she gained full access to Bad Wolf then she'd be in the same pain as she had the first time.

The Valeyard pushed against one of the cracks in the wall. The crack widened but only slightly. He pushed harder and harder until it widened more and more. Finally it split open and part of the barrier disappeared.

Rose cried out as white hot pain seared across her mind. The Valeyard was forced out so violently he rocked back onto his chair. He opened his eyes to see Rose screaming and clutching her head in her hands. She fell off the chair and continued to scream as tears poured down her face. Panicking slightly, the Valeyard ran to the medical room, grabbed a syringe full of sedative, and dashed back to Rose. She lay on the floor in a ball, sobbing and screaming. The Valeyard quickly injected the sedative into her body and waited for it to start working.

Slowly Rose's screams and crying died out. She lay completely motionless on the floor. He looked up when gold light flashed out of the corner of his eye. The gold wolf had appeared again. She was back in her largest state, the size of a grey wolf. She looked fierce and powerful and she glowed brightly. The wolf growled at the Valeyard when he began to wipe the dampness from her face. Rose was sleeping and no longer in pain, he didn't need the wolf's approval.

"Stop it. I'm taking care of her," he told the wolf firmly. Ignoring the continued growling, he picked Rose up and carried her to his rooms. The wolf followed him silently, her eyes boring into him.

The Valeyard laid Rose in the middle of his king size bed and crawled in next to her. On the other side, the wolf jumped up and stood next to Rose. He watched the wolf carefully, wondering what she would do. The wolf growled at him one more time before turning her attention to Rose. She approached Rose's head and carefully licked her eyes and then her lips. Rose let out a soft sigh and a slight smile appeared on her face. The wolf let out a snort and settled in next to Rose; the entire length of her body pressed against Rose's side. Rose curled against the wolf's body and rested one arm of top of her.

"Thank you," he said grudgingly to the wolf. He was happy that Rose was not in pain but it bothered him that the wolf had appeared to fix her. _He_ wanted to be able to fix her. He wanted Rose to curl up next to him and find comfort in him, not in her damn wolf.

The wolf lifted her head and snorted again before turning away from him. The Valeyard sighed and left the room and Rose behind him. He didn't like being around the wolf sometimes so he'd watch over Rose from his office. He could look after her from a distance.

* * *

Rose liked that she continued to return to this planet with its multiple suns, burnt grass, and purple flowers. In the distance she could see huge domes with cities inside them. She'd love to explore the city but she thought it best to keep her distance. Instead, she walked through the field while the wind swirled around her. She laughed as it pulled playfully at her hair while petals from the purple flowers floated around her. The heat from the suns warmed her to her very soul. This was peace. If only she could find this peace when she's awake.

"Rose?" someone called from behind her. She recognized the voice and the image of a man formed in her mind. She rolled her eyes, not wanting anyone to intrude on her peace.

"What?" she said without turned around.

"Rose, please look at me."

Rose sighed, turned around, and came face to face with the man who claimed to be the Doctor.

"What?" she said again.

"You're looking much better," the Doctor noted.

Rose rolled her eyes again. She looked the Doctor up and down, taking in his appearance. He still wore a bowtie and vest under a jacket. A watch on a chain was clipped to the front of his vest. He looked a bit silly to her.

"What. Do. You. Want?" Rose said each word slowly, as if talking to someone who spoke a different language.

The Doctor looked slightly offended but Rose didn't care. She didn't even know if this was the Doctor. Even if he was, she didn't care. Seeing this man in her safe place just pissed her off. Why could she not just be alone for once?

"I just wanted to talk. You're here. I'm here. Why can't we talk?"

"Because I don't want to talk! I want you to go away. I want to be alone."

"I don't understand. What happened to you? Why are you so angry?"

Rose laughed. It wasn't a happy laugh. It was a laugh full of pain and anger and disbelief. It spoke of the horrors she'd experienced within the last few years. It was harsh and chilling to the bone. The Doctor actually took a step back from the person who looked like Rose but wasn't Rose. Something had happened that had changed the woman he once knew. His Rose seemed to be gone.

"You happened to me! You trapped me in another universe and left me alone with _him_. You have no idea what I've been through. It is all your fault!" She'd told him this before but her anger towards him was tenfold now.

"What are you talking about?" the Doctor asked. He tried to step towards her but what he saw stopped him in his tracks. To his amazement, she began to glow. Her blonde hair turned gold. Gold dust floated around her like an aura. And her eyes. Her eyes were as gold as they'd been on the day she'd looked into the heart of the TARDIS.

The gold eyes bored into the Doctor and he fell to his knees. Tears streamed from his eyes as he observed her beauty. She wasn't just Rose. She was Rose and Bad Wolf and she was beautiful.

"Rose," he whispered. "How are you alive?"

"You didn't take Bad Wolf away. You just shut her away. I'm slowly getting more access to her. Eventually I will be able to use Bad Wolf to save the TARDIS and return home. And I'm doing it without your help."

Rose walked towards him slowly, her eyes never leaving his. She felt Bad Wolf within her like she never had before. She stopped a few steps from him and looked down upon him. She reached out with her mind and brushed his. Rose felt his fear, his awe, and so much more. There were no walls around his mind. There was no point. He couldn't fight the power of the Wolf.

"Rose. My god, Rose."

"I am strong enough without you now. You don't need to come to my rescue anymore. I can take care of myself. I will come home and you will not be happy to see me. You will regret what you've done to me. What you've done to Bad Wolf."

Rose reached out and touch his forehead with her index finger. In a flash of bright light the Doctor disappeared leaving Rose alone again. The gold faded from her and she smiled, going back to her fun. Alone.

* * *

The Doctor woke with a start as pain shot through his entire body. He gasped and tried to catch his breath. He touched his forehead, trying to feel if something was there. That's when he noticed the wetness on this face.

"That wasn't real. That couldn't possibly be real."

He struggled to stand and then stumbled to the bathroom. He looked at his reflection closely. A small red mark shone against the white of his skin. It was the exact size of a fingertip.

"Well," he said to the mirror, "that was definitely real."


	11. Chapter 11

Rose walked from the bathroom to the bedroom with a white towel wrapped around her body. The Valeyard hadn't been in the room when she woke up so she'd decided to take a shower. It had been a wonderful shower. Her body hurt from whatever had happened yesterday. All she remembered was pain coursing through her body. It was one of the worst pains she'd felt in her life, including the Valeyard's various torture methods.

Rose dropped the towel in front of the dresser and began to look through the drawers for something to wear. She'd just picked out some knickers when the Valeyard stepped out of the closet in just a pair of pajama pants. He stopped suddenly when he saw Rose standing there. Rose looked up and froze. It took her a moment to realize she was nude before she let out a small squeak and quickly covered herself with the towel she'd dropped.

Neither of them seemed to be able to find words. They simple stood there for a moment in awkward silence.

In two long strides the Valeyard stood before her. He looked down into Rose's face, his brown eyes meeting hers. Then he pulled her into his arms and crashed his lips down onto hers. Rose gasped at the sudden closeness and the feel of his lips on her. His tongue brushes against her lips, asking for entry. Rose obliged.

The taste of him was wonder and familiar. He was home to her. He was everything she wanted.

Rose was surprised by this sudden thought. She pulled away, noticing that she'd dropped the towel. She moved to pick it up again but the Valeyard stopped her. He looked at her curiously, the question clear on his face.

"This is wrong," Rose whispered.

_This is right._

"No Rose, it's not. It's just right."

His hands traveled down her back causing her breath to hitch. It did feel right. It was right. Her breasts pressed against his hard chest, warmth pooling in her belly as desire overcame her. She could feel the hard length of him pressed against her thigh, his desire as obvious as hers. She wanted him.

This is wrong, she thought.

_This is right. You want him. You want him._

The Valeyard didn't break eye contact with her. He wanted her so badly it was painful. The feel of her skin against his was driving him out of his mind. Their stillness was becoming unbearable. But he would not force this on her. He would not stoop to that level.

"Rose," the Valeyard said, "I will not force you. I need you but I will not force you."

Rose broke the eye contact but remained in his embrace. She rested her forehead on his chest, trying to understand what her mind and her heart were saying. She took a deep breath, inhaling his scent, trying to force herself into calm.

"I don't know," she said shakily.

The Valeyard lifted her chin so she could see him. "Reach out with your mind. Connect with me. Please. I need the connection. I need you to know."

Rose hesitated for a moment.

"Please," he begged.

Rose kept her eyes on him while she reached out. When she connected she was overwhelmed with sensations and feelings. She felt his desire. She felt his need for her. She felt his love. She felt things that she couldn't put into words. It was like the world had become clearer. It had been so long since they'd shared a connection, so long since she'd felt this alive, this connected to another being.

The Valeyard groaned when their minds merged. He felt like he was breathing for the first time. This was not the simple connection when he'd explore her mind. This was more, this was deeper, this was everything he wanted, everything he needed. He bent down and kissed her again, inviting her in.

'Please.'

Rose heard the word in her mind. She couldn't deny him. She couldn't deny herself.

'What are you waiting for?'

It was all the invitation that he need. He picked her up and she wrapped her legs around him. He kissed her like a starving man finding food; hungrily, greedily. Rose kissed him back as if she couldn't get enough. Passion flared between them and the Valeyard moved quickly to the bed. He dropped Rose on her back and quickly stripped off his pants and boxers. She laid there, eyes never leaving him, enjoying the view.

'Like what you see?' he asked through the connection.

'Only everything.' Rose grinned and winked.

The Valeyard took a moment to admire Rose's naked body. She shone with a light golden aura. It wasn't bright but it was there. Gold streaked through her brown irises. She was beautiful to behold. And she was his.

He moved onto the bed over her, bracing himself with his arms. He hovered over her with very little space between their bodies, his hard erection pressed against her but went no further.

"Valeyard," Rose moaned aloud.

The Valeyard smiled and thrust into her. She let out a gasp as pleasure rocketed through her body and her mind. He filled her completely and she wrapped herself around him. He moved slowly at first, heat building between them.

'Valeyard.'

He reveled in the feel of her mind merged with his. He moved faster and Rose matched his movements. The heat turned into fire and it burned between them. He thrust into her faster and faster as the tension built in their bodies.

" _Rose_ ," the Valeyard groaned.

They locked eyes and the Valeyard saw that they were gold. It was as if time froze for a moment. Looking into her eyes was like looking through time itself. It was beautiful and terrifying and he loved it.

The tension broke. Rose shuddered beneath him, her nails digging into his back as wave after wave of pleasure coursed through her body. The Valeyard wrapped his fingers in her hair as he emptied himself inside her.

Rose broke the mind link almost pulling a cry from the Valeyard. He felt empty without it. The world dulled and sank back into the mundane. He pulled out of her and fell to her side. They laid there in silence as their heart rates returned to normal.

Rose let out a contented sigh. This was going to make things slightly more complicated but in the moment she did not care. She didn't care about the future or the past. In this moment, she was just right.

* * *

The Doctor stared at the monitor with a frown on his face. Circular Gallifreyan was written across the screen but it told him nothing. He didn't even know what the hell he was looking for. He was too distracted.

He picked up the hand-held mirror he'd been walking around with since he'd woken up with the mark on his forehead. The red mark was gone but he kept checking it anyways. He kept expecting it to reappear and that would tell him what to do next. Instead he was stuck staring at a screen with no clue what to do next.

He had to get to Pete's universe. That's where Rose was and he had to get there. The only problem was the giant risk of destroying both universes by punching through the Void. There was a reason he hadn't been able to save her the first time. He could not sacrifice so many lives for Rose. She wouldn't forgive him if he tried. Yet Rose had said she was coming home.

_"You will regret what you've done to me. What you've done to Bad Wolf."_

The Doctor shivered as he remembered those haunting words. She'd said them with such certainty and fury. Rose was in trouble; there was no doubt about that. And somehow he'd caused it. In the first dream she'd told him it was his fault and she'd said it again in the latest dream. Who was this "him" she kept referring to?

The only person he could think of was his meta-crisis. What could his meta-self do to change Rose so drastically? The Doctor would never hurt Rose and he was sure that his meta wouldn't hurt her either. So it had to be someone else. It had to be.

The TARDIS shook suddenly causing the Doctor to fall to the floor. He frowned at the TARDIS as he stood and rubbed his elbow.

"What's up girl?"

The TARDIS let out a low rumble and shook again. The Doctor went to the monitor and began scanning the area for anything that could cause the TARDIS to be acting so oddly. Nothing seemed to be out of the ordinary. Too many weird things were happening and he didn't like it. Something was going on and he was going to figure it out.


	12. Chapter 12

Rose's days turned into a pattern over the next few weeks. She and the Valeyard would go into the empty white room and he would enter her mind. Each time he'd break off another small part of the wall that had been erected in her mind. Each time a terrible pain shot through Rose's mind and body. The Valeyard would sedate her to help ease the pain and her wolf would appear as her guardian until Rose woke. Rose would take a break for a day or two and then they'd go at it again.

The Valeyard suggested taking a longer break between each session but Rose wasn't having it. She wanted to save the TARDIS. It had become an obsession. Now that she was more connected with Bad Wolf she could feel the TARDIS connection stronger than before. Rose knew that she had to access more power to save the ship but the process was slow going. There was only so much she could handle.

They'd had sex more than a few times between sessions. Rose felt that it was a great way for her body to relieve any of the built of up energy the process was causing. The only problem was she wasn't sure how she felt about it emotionally. The voice in her mind made everything more confusing. For the moment she forced herself to simply enjoy it and not think about it too much.

The Valeyard loved that he was once again connecting with her. Rose was merging with his mind longer than she used to. He'd forgotten the feeling of a telepathic connection. It was a connection he'd lost when he became the last of the Time Lords. Rose wasn't a Time Lord but she wasn't an ordinary human either. She was more. She was better. She was a goddess. He could feel her power now. She radiated it. The power ebbed and flowed depending on her mood. He was finding it harder and harder to continue to push through her mind. The wall containing Bad Wolf was become more difficult to break down. The power that radiated from behind the wall so strong it almost hurt.

One evening the Valeyard walked into a small library down the hall from his rooms. He'd stopped locking her up in there. She wasn't going anywhere so he was no longer worried about a possible escape attempt. Her only restriction was staying within the tower. There was no going outside for her. He wanted to keep her away from other humans.

Rose was sitting in a small chair hammock that hung from the ceiling with a book in her hand. He couldn't tell what she was reading but, from the look on her face, he could tell she was enjoying it. He stood in the doorway for moment just watching her. She was in a large t-shirt and a pair of yoga pants looking extremely comfortable and at ease.

"I know you're there. Are you going to come in or just keep staring at me?" Rose said without looking up from her book.

The Valeyard smiled. It was so nice to have _his_ Rose back. She still hadn't said "I love you" but he was patient. The past two years was proof of that. He was simply enjoying the fact that she was no longer looking at him with fear and hatred in her eyes. His binding had worked and he was thrilled.

"I'm sorry if I like to take in your beauty."

Rose looked up and smiled back at him. A light shimmer surrounded her. She had a visible aura now. Its brilliance varied depending on what she was doing and how she was feeling. The shimmer was just her resting aura. It was beautiful and it was proof that she was more than Rose Tyler now.

"I was thinking-" the Valeyard started to say but Rose interrupted him.

"I want to go see the TARDIS," she said.

It took him a moment to collect his thoughts but he smiled again.

"Of course. When?"

"Right now." Rose climbed out the hammock and replaced her book on the bookshelf. "I have this feeling that I need to go right now."

"Well we can't ignore your feelings can we? Do you know what's going on?" They started to walk towards the elevators that would take them to the top floor.

"I just feel like she needs me. I have to do something. I don't know what yet but it's something."

Five minutes later, Rose and the Valeyard stood in the almost empty room staring at the small TARDIS. The chameleon circuit was not activated at the moment so the ship was simply a silver cylinder, the TARDIS's true form. Rose could feel a distant song in the back of her mind and she knew it was the song of the TARDIS. The gold wolf appeared by her side again and looked at Rose expectantly.

Rose slowly approached the TARDIS. The Valeyard hung back, his gut telling him to let Rose handle this. Rose stopped inches from the small ship. She wasn't sure what was going to happen when she touched the ship. She knew she wanted to help but she was scared. What would happen? When she'd touched the TARDIS the last time she had given the TARDIS Time Vortex energy it had left her drained and weak. Now that she had more access to it, she wasn't sure what it would do to her.

The wolf pressed a paw on the side of the TARDIS while Rose place the palms of both hands next her paw. Pain tore a scream from her as power coursed through her body and into the TARDIS. She was a conduit for the power and the power was overwhelming. She felt as if she was on fire, the energy burning her from the inside out. Every instinct told her to let go, stop, save herself but Rose forced herself to remain connected with the TARDIS. The wolf next to her remained calmly by her side glowing brightly as she helped Rose channel the Vortex energy into the ship. Tears fell down Rose's cheeks but she ignored them like she ignored the fire burning within her.

The Valeyard watched from a distance as gold light flared around Rose and the TARDIS. It was becoming harder to watch as the light grew brighter. He was scared for Rose. He knew she was in a great deal of pain and all he wanted to do was go to her and hold her. He kept his distance however. He couldn't interfere. Rose had the power and she could handle the pain. She was strong and he knew it. He'd seen that through his various torture methods.

The light grew blinding and the Valeyard had to look away. Rose sank to her knees as her legs gave out on her. The Vortex energy was leaving her body more slowly now and she knew that she was almost done. The metal beneath her hands was hot and Rose could feel the ship growing. She gritted her teeth and forced herself to remain still.

Then finally…finally…it was over. The light disappeared and Rose fell to the ground. She couldn't move a muscle. The fire was gone but her body was exhausted and she ached all over. Rose had pushed it past its endurance. Her gold wolf hadn't disappeared. She shrank to a smaller size the licked Rose's face with her tongue. Rose smiled slightly but the smile didn't last long. Even that small use of muscles hurt.

The Valeyard was suddenly hovering over her with concern written all over his face. He checked her pulse, looked into her eyes, listened to her breathing. Rose wanted to say something but she couldn't. She couldn't get her mouth the move or her voice to work.

"Are you okay? Rose. Rose, answer me," he commanded and shook her slightly. Rose let out a groan of pain. The Valeyard almost sagged in relief. She was alive but weak. He moved to pick her up and bring her to his bed but the wolf snapped at him. She had barely missed his hand with her jaws. He raised his hands to his shoulders to show her he meant no harm.

The wolf snorted, lay down, and rested her head on Rose's chest. Rose's breathing was smooth and steady despite her complete stillness and obvious pain. The Valeyard wasn't sure what to do. He sank down next to Rose and began to brush his fingers through his hairs, whispering soothing words of comfort.

Rose's eyes remained closed but she kept her attention focused on the Valeyard's words and the warmth of the wolf on her chest. She hurt all over and it was difficult to remain conscious. As she listened she became aware that the TARDIS song in her head was so much louder, so much stronger than before. Her heart swelled with emotion as the beautiful song rang through her mind. She knew in that moment that the TARDIS had been saved.

The Valeyard, Rose, and the wolf remained silent for a long time. The Valeyard could hear the TARDIS's song in his mind as well. Tears welled behind his eyes as he listened to it. Rose had done it. His TARDIS was alive and thriving. They were one step closer to leaving this universe and returning home with Rose at his side.

* * *

The Doctor lay in his bed staring at the ceiling. He was trying to force himself to sleep so he could dream again but sleep evaded him. He wasn't human so he didn't need as much sleep as they did. It was beyond frustrating to lie there with his mind racing and his body refusing to relax. He needed to dream. He needed to talk to Rose. He needed to know who was hurting her and how she had become Bad Wolf again. But no. He couldn't. Of course he couldn't. That would be way too easy and when was his life ever easy?

He let out a frustrated growl and got out of bed. He needed to do something. Anything. But he couldn't seem to think properly. Even with Rose in another universe he still couldn't think. She messed with his mind and emotions. He could deny it all he wanted to but he knew deep down that he loved her. Love made everything more confusing, more complicated. Love made people do stupid things like letting a Weeping Angel send you back in time to be with your husband without thinking about the risk that you could be sent to a different time period completely.

"Wow. I'm still really bitter about that," he said aloud. Sometimes his emotions surprised him. Logically he knew that Amy had done the right thing but it still hurt. He could never see her again. Just like he could never see Rose again.

And yet, Rose seemed to think that she could. How, he couldn't say. Despite his excitement over the prospect of seeing her again, he was nervous and a little scared. Rose seemed to be in a bad place and her fury at him was a terrible thing to behold, if the dream was anything to go by. He'd never seen her look at him with such anger and hatred in her eyes. That frightened him the most. He could deal with her threats but he wasn't sure he could handle her hating him.

The Doctor headed for the console room. He needed to get his mind off Rose and his problems until he managed to get a brain wave. Maybe he'd take Clara on a trip somewhere fun. She was still a mystery to him and he planned on figuring her out even if he couldn't figure out what was going on with Rose. At least Clara was physically here to investigate. All this theorizing was doing nothing for his sanity.

Yes, a good trip with Clara was exactly what he needed.


	13. Chapter 13

Rose couldn't move for the longest time. The Valeyard and her wolf never left her side. She didn't know how much time had passed before she started to regain feeling in her limbs. She let out a moan that made the Valeyard jump slightly. His mind had been elsewhere while he had been sitting with Rose. He didn't know how much time had past but he had continued to run his fingers through her hair.

"How do you feel?" he asked as he moved to her side and began checking her vitals.

"Ouch."

The Valeyard actually managed to laugh. He hadn't realized how worried he had been since Rose had started to heal the TARDIS. It had been one of the more terrifying moments of his life.

"Ouch seems to be the proper response. Can you move?"

Rose took inventory of her body. She seemed to have control over all her muscles. It was still painful but at least she had some control of her body again.

"I can move. I don't really want to move but I can." Rose paused for a moment as she listened to the TARDIS song in her mind. "Can you hear her?"

The Valeyard smiled. "Yes. Rose, you did it!" He placed his lips lightly on hers, trying to show his appreciation while also being gentle. He didn't want to cause her more pain.

Rose tried to return the smile. She only managed a small twitch of her lips. The Valeyard noticed her less than enthusiastic response. He looked at her questioningly.

"She can't travel. She's alive and thriving but she can't travel through time or space and definitely not through the Void to our universe." There was deep sadness in her voice and her eyes. The Valeyard could see her feelings of failure written all over her face.

"Rose Tyler, you've saved the TARDIS. I know there is still more work to be done. I'm not remotely disappointed and I certainly do not think you've failed. Without you the TARDIS would have died a slow and painful death."

"I just thought that I would be able to make her fully functional." She tried to sit up on her own but her muscles still felt like jello. Her wolf moved off her chest, touched her nose to Rose's cheek, and disappeared. The Valeyard supported Rose and helped her come to a sitting position.

"I think we need more access to Bad Wolf. She's still contained and you can't completely access the Time Vortex. My hunch is when you and Bad Wolf merge completely you will be able to finish what you've done today."

Rose nodded slightly. The Valeyard could still see the disappointment in her face and he hoped that she would soon see that the progress she had made today was not a failure. He brushed her blonde hair away from her face and lightly kissed her forehead. He placed a finger under her chin, tilting her head up so he could look directly into her eyes.

"I am so proud of you Rose. You've done so much already. We will get there. It just takes time. Please try to be patient."

She looked away and sighed. "Okay," she said finally. She closed her eyes and focused on the TARDIS song to help her calm down. She needed to believe that everything would work out. But what would happen when the TARDIS finally became fully functional? The pain she'd experienced had been terrible. What would happen to Rose when she finally managed to give the TARDIS the final piece?

The Valeyard could see the struggle Rose was experiencing and he needed to keep her mind off of it for now. "Let's get you to bed. You look terrible."

Rose scowled at him. "Well thanks!" she said but she finally managed a real smile.

"Anytime."

He carried her to his, _their_ , bedroom. She snuggled under the covers and smiled contentedly. The bed was definitely much more comfortable than the hard floor. Fatigue washed over her in a wave and she yawned.

"Rest," the Valeyard told her. He leaned down and brushed his lips against her. "I love you. Tell me you love me too."

Rose froze for a moment. She couldn't say it. She couldn't. She knew he was desperate to hear those three words come from her but something was continuing to hold her back.

_Say it. Tell him._

'I can't do it,' she thought.

_TELL HIM!_

Rose almost winced as the command rang loudly through her mind. She fought hard but she couldn't resist it.

"I love you too," she choked out. The words hovered in the air and Rose wished she could take them back. She tried but the words stuck in her throat. What was going on? How could the voice have so much control over her? Fear slid through her veins like ice.

The Valeyard's face lit up with joy. She'd said it. Finally she'd said it. He'd been waiting for so long to hear those words and they were finally spoken aloud. A gentle kiss was not enough for him. He kissed her hard, passionately, and reveled in the taste of her.

Rose wanted to push him away but she didn't have the strength. She let him kiss her but she responded less than enthusiastically. When he finally pulled away Rose felt as if she could breathe again. All kinds of emotions and thoughts raced through Rose's mind. What had happened?

_You love him and you've finally admitted it._

She loved him? No she didn't. She'd only said it because the voice had made her. Right?

_Wrong. You said it because you wanted to._

Rose was beyond confused and all she wanted to do was sleep. She needed to escape these thoughts for the moment until she was ready to face it. The voice scared her slightly. It was unknown and new. She felt as if it was controlling her thoughts and actions.

"I'm so sleepy," Rose told him, trying to hide how shaky she felt.

"Right. Sleep well my love. I will check on you later."

Rose nodded and snuggled deeper into the sheets. She reached out to the TARDIS and the ship's song rang through her mind. Peace came over her and she finally managed to drift off to sleep.

* * *

The Doctor was talking to Clara when he started to feel lightheaded. He frowned and grabbed on to the back of the jump seat. His eyelids started to grow heavier as if he were about to fall asleep. He had a feeling he knew what was going on.

"and-" Clara said but broke off when she noticed the Doctor's odd behavior. "Doctor? Are you okay?"

"I think so though I do believe I'm getting pulled into sleep." His legs went weak and he collapsed onto the seat. Clara jumped forward to help him lay down more comfortably.

"What do I do?" Clara asked frantically.

"Nothing. I'll-" but the Doctor passed out before he could finish the sentence.

* * *

The Doctor found himself on a field on New New Earth. He had been expecting Gallifrey again but he didn't mind. A quick look at his surrounding told him he was in New New York again. This had been the first place he'd taken Rose to after he'd regenerated. He looked around and saw Rose standing on the hill overlooking the city with its flying cars and skyscrapers.

"Rose?" the Doctor said tentatively.

Rose startled slightly but didn't look around. "What are you doing here?"

"I don't know," he told her. He wanted her to look at him but she seemed to be determined to ignore him.

"I brought you here," said a familiar voice. They both turned to find the woman who claimed to be the TARDIS standing not too far away.

"Ah, you. Come to give me another warning? Or maybe you want me to do something for you. Well, I don't care. Just go away," Rose said coldly.

"Rose," the Doctor started to say.

"Don't. I don't need anything from you either," she said with a dismissive wave of her hand.

The Doctor hated the harsh tone of her voice, the obvious anger, the underlying pain.

"Rose Tyler you need help. You need to tell my Thief what is happening to you," the woman said kindly. She looked at Rose with worry on her face but Rose was not moved by it.

"I don't need to tell him anything. It's none of his business and it's definitely none of yours. Keep your nose out of it. Go away," she repeated. The Doctor noticed that a golden aura surrounded Rose again. It was steadily becoming brighter, little specks of dust seemed to float in the light.

"But you must-"

"No! I mustn't do anything! Go the fuck away. I never want to see you again. Stay out of my life. I've done what you asked but now I'm done. Leave. Me. Alone."

Rose was satisfied to see the woman take a step back. She wasn't moved by the sadness showing on the woman's face. The woman containing the heart of the TARDIS took another step back and nodded. Without another word she disappeared in a flash of gold.

"You need to go away too," she told the Doctor.

He almost stepped away at the look of fury in her eyes. He forced himself to meet her eyes and stayed where he was. He was determined to get to the bottom of this mess. He needed to know what the hell was going on so he could fix it.

"Please tell me who's done this to you. Who made you so angry? Who hurt you so badly?"

Rose gave the Doctor a cold, bone-chilling smile. He stepped back despite his earlier resolve to remain still. The smile sent shivers down his spine. His Rose would never look at him that way. His Rose seemed to be gone. What had happened? What is happening? Why did the TARDIS bring them together?

"Well, _Doctor_ ," she said with a sneer, "I do believe you've done this to me. I should thank you really. Without your help I would have never discovered Bad Wolf still lived within me. You know, I shouldn't be surprised. You always manage to fuck things up despite your good intentions."

"You've mentioned someone. You have said 'him.' Who is this person? What has he done to you?"

"I'm surprised you don't know. It's pretty obvious. Did this new regeneration fry some brain cells? He's made me better. I'm stronger now." To emphasize this she spread her arms wide and the glow around her spread wider and became brighter. She smiled as the power flowed through her, filling her with life.

"Please Rose, tell me. You need help. You're not yourself. I know you. This is not you." The Doctor took a few steps towards her before she waved her hand and he went flying through the air. He landed hard on the apple grass. His arm slammed down onto a rock causing pain to rocket through him. That would definitely leave a mark.

"You don't know me Doctor. Don't you dare tell me who I am." She was glowing so brightly that it was beginning to hurt his eyes. The Doctor remained still as she walked towards him slowly. "I keep thinking about what I'm going to do when we finally meet again. Should I punish you for the shit you've put me through? Do you know what torture feels like? I do. I'm intimately familiar with it. Should I kill you? Then there would be no more Time Lords this universe. I doubt that I'll go that route though. That's the easy way out. I'll have to think about it more. I have plenty of time."

The Doctor couldn't believe his ears. Who was this woman before him? She looked and sounded like Rose but she wasn't Rose. Something, someone, had turned her angry, vengeful, and cruel. Rage filled him at the thought of whoever had caused this. He vowed to himself that he would figure out who had done this to her and help her out of this state. He would _not_ let Rose suffer in this way. His Rose, the real Rose, was still in there somewhere. He would find her and save her. If this was his fault in some way, he would dedicate his every breath to fixing it.

"Tell me Doctor, how do you know this is real?" Rose asked as she crouched down next to him. He still didn't moved a muscle.

"You sent me away in the last dream. It left a mark when I woke up."

"It's gone now."

"Yes," he replied softly. There was an odd look on her face as she peered down at him. She tilted her head slightly as if examining something she couldn't seem to understand.

"Let's see if I can leave you with something a little more lasting," she said as she ripped open his button down shirt and pressed her glowing palm on his chest.

A burning pain seared through his body and he let out a cry. Rose smiled slightly.

"See you later Doctor."

* * *

The Doctor sat up, gasping for breath. The searing pain hadn't ended. He felt it coursing through his body and he let out a muttered curse. Clara was looking down on him, a worried expression clearly written on her face. He winced as he took in a breath.

"Doctor, are you okay?"

"Well, I've been better." He began to unbutton his shirt, almost fearful of what he would find. He couldn't get a good look so he made his way to the bathroom for a look in the mirror. The TARDIS had replaced it after his momentary lapse of control.

A hand print burned bright red on the center of the Doctor's chest. A thin gold line followed the edges of the hand print. More gold lines radiated outwards like a sun burst. He was momentarily speechless. The pain of the tiny fingertip was nothing compared to the feeling of this interesting mark.

"What in the world is that?" Clara asked. She was looking over his shoulder, seeing the reflection of the burn on his chest.

The Doctor turned to face her. He winced again. Apparently any movement hurt. Clara's eyes were wide as she took in the angry red mark on the Doctor's pale skin. She leaned closer to examine it. The red skin was raised and she could actually see lines that every palm has and the whirls on the fingertips.

"This would be the mark of a very angry woman with the power of the Time Vortex running through her body. Also known as Rose Tyler."

Clara looked up to see a very grim expression on his face. It wasn't an expression she'd seen before.

"I'm guessing this is bad."

The Doctor checked out his arm to find a bruise from the hard object he had hit when Rose had tossed him through the air like a rag doll. He looked up at Clara nodded gravely. "Yes Clara, this is very bad."


	14. Chapter 14

Rose woke full of rage. When she looked at the hand she had pressed to the Doctor's chest she saw that it was glowing. A further check showed that her entire body was glowing. Despite seeing this she did not calm down. She threw the covers off and stormed into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her. The Valeyard seemed to be out so she wasn't worried about waking him.

How dare he! And how dare the TARDIS! Rose paced the large room, her bare feet making little noise on the cool tile floor. She glanced at the mirror and saw that her eyes were as gold as the glow that surrounded her. A small smile curved her lips. She liked this look. It was proof that she and Bad Wolf were merging, becoming one. Someday soon she would fix the TARDIS fully and then travel with the Valeyard back home where she belonged.

She wondered if the Doctor would ever figure out what was going on in Rose's world. He seemed to be unable to grasp anything. His shock seemed to shut his brain off to everything she'd said. Then, when he finally figured it out, what would he do? Of course he'd try to "save" her.

"I don't need to be saved," she told her reflection.

_Of course not. You are Rose Tyler and you are Bad Wolf. You have everything you want. You have the Valeyard._

Yes, she did have the Valeyard. He just made things very confusing. Combine his words, his past actions, and the new voice in her head and she was just a mess. For the moment she needed to focus on the TARDIS and getting home. She needed Bad Wolf.

Rose's thoughts drifted back to the dream. It had been real. It was so obvious now. In the dream she'd sent the Doctor flying with the flick of her hand. That was new and she found herself wanting to try again. What else would she gain as she accessed more of Bad Wolf's power? Rose tilted her head to the side, examining her reflection curiously. She looked so different. She hadn't noticed it before. Of course, she hadn't been paying attention to her appearance when she'd been a prisoner of the Valeyard.

Taking a deep breath, Rose forced herself to calm down. The glow disappeared and all that remained was a light shimmer. She hadn't noticed the shimmer either. Had it always been there? Doubtful. The mirror showed that her once bleach blonde hair was now gold. It wasn't as bright as the Vortex Energy 's golden hue but it was pretty close. Her brown eyes now had gold streaks through the irises. The gold that had filled them before had disappeared with her glowing outline but she noticed that her regular brown irises were lightening. She wondered what would happen to her appearance when she merged with Bad Wolf.

Rose looked over the contents on the counter top. If she could throw the Doctor in her dream, she could certainly move objects while awake. She focused on the toothbrushes in their holder and twitched a finger. They flew up into the air, much easier than Rose was expecting. She ducked as they flew towards her face. Rose closed her fist and the toothbrushes fell to the ground. She actually laughed out loud. Practice. That's what she needed. Control over these objects wasn't much different than the control of the gold light she'd conjured before.

The Valeyard walked into the bathroom to find Rose in the center in the room with objects flying around her. Her aura glowed brightly but not the usual brightness that surrounded her when her emotions became volatile. He watched in awe as she directed a hairbrush, a bottle of hand soap, basically anything that wasn't fixed down was flying through the air. The Valeyard had to duck a few times to avoid being clobbered.

"Rose," he finally managed to say through his shock.

Rose looked around in surprise. Her concentration faltered and everything crashed to the ground. The ceramic toothbrush holder shattered along with a mirror and other small breakable objects. Her eyes were glowing again and the Valeyard could tell from the expression on her face that she was exhilarated. The Valeyard grinned at her and Rose returned the grin.

"Valeyard. Did you see that? Did you see what I can do?" She was like a child, giddy and proud of learning something new.

"Rose you are wonderful! That was amazing. How did you know you could do that?"

Rose hesitated. She didn't want to tell the Valeyard about her dreams. She didn't know how he would react and that scared her.

_You should tell him. He would want to know._

The voice wasn't commanding so Rose found that she could ignore it. That was something she hadn't noticed before. Interesting.

"I don't know. It just kinda happened." She looked to the Valeyard. "I feel so alive Valeyard. I can't believe what I did."

The Valeyard took two large steps and scooped her up a hug. Her feet left the ground as he spun her around. Her joy was infectious. Warmth radiated from her, filling him up with the same energy flowing through her. He couldn't hold it back. He kissed her like he hadn't kissed her before. It was like he was suddenly able to breathe again and she was the air he had been missing.

Rose wrapped her arms around the Valeyard's neck pressing her body against him. Her golden aura grew and encompassed them both. They reached out with their minds at simultaneously and the spike of feeling it caused him almost put the Valeyard over the edge. He made quick work of removing their clothes, desperate to feel her skin against his. He pressed her against a wall, kissing her hard and grinding against her. One hand cupped her breast and he tweaked her nipple with his agile fingers. She raked one hand through his gravity defying hair while the other held onto the back of his neck, pulling him closer to her, needing to feel his body pressed against hers.

"Valeyard," she said with a frown when he pulled away from her.

"I'd rather not get bruised on this very cold tile," he said with a devious smile. She let out a small squeak as he picked her up and moved them to the bed. The Valeyard paused for a moment, taking in her beauty. She was all his.

Rose beckoned him to her and he happily obliged. He left a trail of kisses down her neck as his body pretty against hers. He slowly moved his way down her body, stopping to caress each nipple with his tongue. Rose let out soft sigh and ran both hands through his hair, clutching it between her fingers. The Valeyard smiled at the noises she continued to make.

The trail his lips left were on fire. She could feel each spot and wanted so much more. He moved lower and lower, taking his time as he traveled lower and lower. The Valeyard took a moment to focus a spot on her hip, nipping, kissing, sucking, until he was sure a mark would remain. A mark that claimed her as his.

The Valeyard looked up and they locked eyes. The glow around Rose was brilliant and beautiful. He slipped two fingers into her wet heat and she bucked against him. A wicked smile spread across his face. He began a slow torture, bringing her to the edge before backing off. Rose growled in frustration.

"Is something wrong?" he asked in an innocent tone.

Rose didn't respond with words. She wrapped her legs around him again and pulled him down so she could kiss him. A small chuckle escaped him, amused at her reaction. He paused for a moment, hovering at her entrance. He raised an eyebrow, teasing her even more.

"Valeyard, please. I need you. I need you now."

The time for teasing was done. He slid into her, the feel of her hot and tight around him almost bringing him over the edge. He moved in a smooth and steady rhythm, Rose matching his every thrust. He sped up, needing more, needing to be as close as possible, to be one with the woman below him.

Rose's nails raked down his back as she called his name. Her muscles quivered around him before finally sending her over the edge. With two more quick thrusts he joins her, stars exploding before his eyes. He collapsed against her, completely spent.

They lay there for a few moments in silence. Rose didn't want to move but the Valeyard's weight was becoming too much.

"Can't breathe," she said softly.

The Valeyard rolled of her with a groan and she whimpered at the loss of him. She moved over to him, resting her head against his chest. The glow around them didn't disappear but it dimmed slightly. To the Valeyard's surprise, Rose didn't pull away from his mind. He clutched on to that fact and focused on it, focused on the feeling of mind connecting mind. He didn't want her to break contact. He didn't want to return to that emptiness.

"I'm still glowing," Rose said, finally breaking the silence.

"You are indeed. You glow a lot these days."

"Apparently." Rose lifted her head and looked at the Valeyard. "That was amazing."

"You're amazing." He pressed a gentle kiss to her lips and pulled her into his arms. "And you're mine."

* * *

The Doctor sat on the jump seat with his elbows on his knees, his head in his hands. He had to think. It was like his brain couldn't focus. Rose's face kept popping into his mind. Her anger, her obvious power, her beauty. She glowed for god's sake. Glowed!

"Think, you idiot, think!"

He went over her words, speaking aloud to try to make sense of his world.

"One, she had wanted to die."

That no longer seemed to be true. She had seemed weak and tortured when he'd first seen her. That had been a terrible sight to see. All he'd wanted to do was hold her in his arms and tell her everything would be okay. But she'd backed away from him and a gold wolf appeared. The wolf intrigued him.

"Two, she continually said it was my fault."

Well, he knew she had been hurt that he'd left her behind in the parallel universe. But she had seemed happy. He'd given her everything she wanted. But something must have happened. If only she would stop being so stubborn!

"Three, she repeatedly mentioned _him_."

When he'd woken up he'd had a sick feeling in his stomach on top of the burning pain on his chest. That sick feeling told him who was responsible for Rose's suffering. The Doctor was responsible for her suffering, just not this Doctor. A parallel Doctor. A Doctor whom he had thought had been an exact replica of himself. A Time Lord with one heart.

"Four, she's really fucking pissed at me."

And he couldn't blame her. Why had it taken so long for him to realize it? Why had he not made the connection? Probably because facing it was acknowledging that there was a part of him who had hurt Rose until she broke.

" _Do you know what torture feels like? I do. I'm intimately familiar with it."_

He had created Rose's hell. He wouldn't take all the blame, the other Doctor had the privilege of sharing with him, but the majority of it fell on his shoulders. What could have possibly caused his meta-crisis to turn so cruel? And what the hell had he done to turn Rose into someone he didn't know? In the end it didn't matter. He would fix his mistake. He would save Rose Tyler just like she'd saved him so many times before.

Darkness surrounded him and an icy calm settled over him. To hell with it all. To hell with the possibility of collapsing universes. He was the Oncoming Storm. Nothing could stand in his way.

* * *

They were back on Gallifrey. Rose wasn't surprised to find the Doctor sitting next to her. He seemed different now. There was no panicked desperation for answers. He was calm and collected. Rose had seen him like this before. It used to scare her but it didn't even bother her now. There were worse things out there than an angry Doctor.

"I guess you've figured it out. Took you long enough," Rose said calmly, not looking away from the distant mountains.

"You could have just told me," the Doctor responded just as calmly.

Rose snorted, "And lose out on the opportunity to watch you suffer?"

They sat there in silence for a long time. Finally the Doctor spoke up.

"You hate me." It was a statement, not a fact.

She didn't respond. She wasn't even sure what to say. Her feelings towards him were many and confusing.

"I don't know anymore, Doctor. But I've made my choice and I've chosen the Valeyard." Rose turned to look at him and was surprised at his expression. Blank shock was written on his face. He looked like he'd been slapped. Obviously that meant something but she found she didn't care.

"Did you say Valeyard?"

"How's your chest?" Rose asked, ignoring his question.

The Doctor opened his shirt. A perfect replica of her hand was etched in gold in the very center. Rose could see the whirls from her fingertips and the creases from her palm. Vein-like strands of gold radiated outwards. She smiled in satisfaction. He could look at that every day and remember who she was and what he had done.

Rose stood and brushed off her jeans. She looked down at the Doctor with an appraising eye. His new demeanor intrigued her and she wondered what would happen when they finally faced each other. The Bad Wolf and the Oncoming Storm.


	15. Chapter 15

Rose sat outside the room the TARDIS occupied. She wanted to be in the room with the ship but she didn't know the combination to the lock on the door. The TARDIS's song sang through her mind, calming her, soothing her anxieties. She still maintained the connection with the Valeyard though it wasn't as strong. Apparently distance affected the mental connection. She wasn't sure why she hadn't pulled her mind away. It felt comfortable to have that empty space within her mind filled. Ever since she began gaining more access to the power of Bad Wolf, the emptiness in her mind had become almost unbearable.

The need to go to the TARDIS became overwhelming. The Valeyard was busy with something. Even though he'd invited her to come along, Rose had decided to stay behind. She stood and went to the electronic key pad. If she channeled the Vortex energy, she might be able to fry the lock. She could move things with her mind now; breaking a lock shouldn't be too difficult.

Rose stood before the locked door and placed her palm on the number pad. She called upon the power brewing within her and sent it through her palm and into the pad. Light burst and the key pad made a high pitch sound that ended with a crackle of electricity. She smiled at herself, proud of the progress she continued to make.

The TARDIS still remained in its original shape, not needing to use the chameleon circuit yet. Rose placed both palms on the exterior of the TARDIS shell and felt warmth spread through her body. The ship and the girl exchanged energy, giving comfort to one another. The connection she now shared with the ship was deeper than anything she'd ever experience before. It was like they shared a part of each other's hearts.

The TARDIS doors opened as Rose approached. This was the first time she'd entered the TARDIS since she'd saved the ship. She wasn't sure what to expect. The interior would obviously be different than the Doctor's. For some reason it made her nervous. With a deep breath she crossed the TARDIS threshold.

The console room was absolutely beautiful. A soft gold glow emanated from the time column. Accents of gold could be found everywhere in the round room. The floor beneath her was made of a thick glass that appeared to have gold dust flaked through it. She smiled. It reminded her of the Time Vortex energy. Beneath the glass she could see some of the inner workings of the TARDIS, wires all tangled together. The walls were a cream color, complementing the gold well. A ladder rested against the opening of a balcony that surrounded the top of the TARDIS dome. The floor of the balcony was also glass with gold flakes. An extremely comfortable looking jump seat sat next to the console. It was a deep, rose red, looking soft and inviting. The ramp on the opposite side of the room lead to the deeper levels of the TARDIS.

Rose walked around the beautiful space, her bare feet making no sound as on the hard glass beneath her. She'd expected the glass to be cold but was surprised to find it was not. It was simply there with no discernible temperature. Rose was overwhelmed with emotions as she surveyed the room surrounding her. A smile broke across her face as joy and pride filled her body with energy.

"You're so beautiful," Rose said aloud. To her surprise, she heard the TARDIS respond in her mind.

_All because of you, my Wolf_ , the ship's voice had a musical quality to it.

"I cannot believe I did this. I am so close to fixing you completely. I must do it now. I must."

_You will, little Wolf. The power is within you. We will fly off into the universe and return home where we truly belong._

Rose stroked the console and touched the buttons and levers. She was so close. So close to the finale. So close to getting full access and going home. The thought of it made her insides burn with motivation. She was determined now.

"We will go home. We will make the Doctor pay. Then we will travel the universe, seeing things no other being has seen before."

"Who are you talking to?" a voice said from behind her.

Rose jumped and then frowned. She hadn't expected the Valeyard to be here and found she was annoyed. She should have known he was close by. Their mental link had grown stronger but she had been so absorbed she hadn't been paying attention.

"The TARDIS," she replied. "Apparently she and I can talk."

The Valeyard's eyebrows rose, curiosity coming over him. That was something he'd never heard of before. Of course, this was no ordinary TARDIS just as Rose was no ordinary girl.

He was deeply interested in exploring the connection between the ship and Rose but he couldn't let his curiosity get the better of him. They had plenty of time to learn and explore. He didn't want to focus solely on the link between the two and lose sight of their current mission; getting home.

Instead of commenting on Rose's words, he commented on the room around him. It had a very feminine touch but this didn't surprise him much. Rose had poured herself into the TARDIS so naturally the ship would reflect some of Rose's personality. It didn't matter though, the room was stunningly beautiful. It reminded him of Rose and he liked it.

This was the moment he had longed for. A part of him had been unsure about Rose's ability to save the ship. Seeing it with his own eyes had been amazing and thrilling. His dreams were coming true at last.

"Do you want to explore her with me?" Rose asked, drawing the Valeyard from his thoughts and back to reality. She held her hand out to him, inviting him to join her in her next adventure.

"Of course," he replied with a smile. Each day Rose was reached out for him more and more. Whatever his oaths had done, they were working and he was beyond ecstatic.

Rose returned the smile when he took her hand and walked with her down the ramp to the farther into the TARDIS. There was a part of her that was irritated that he was here. She had wanted to explore the TARDIS alone for the first time but she couldn't really ignore him now. The voice in her mind had decided to make an appearance, encouraging her to make the offer. That damn voice.

_What is the voice?_ Rose asked the TARDIS within her mind. She wasn't sure if the TARDIS would hear but she wanted to try.

The TARDIS didn't respond but the song rang louder through Rose's head for a moment. She knew in that moment that the TARDIS had heard. The question was why had the TARDIS not answered her question?

_I am part of you. There is no question._

Rose frowned at the voice's response to her thoughts. When would it leave her alone? Why did it continue to appear, creating more confusion?

_I am here because I am you. We are one._

Two parts were warring within her. One side said the voice was right while the other said it wasn't. The voice seemed foreign at times but at other times it seemed like it had always been there, that was it was saying was right.

Thinking about it was making her head hurt. Instead she focused on exploring the TARDIS with the Valeyard.

* * *

The Doctor floated through the Vortex, staring at the monitor, trying desperately for a place to punch through the Void and the universe beyond. Frustration overcame him. If Rose believed she could cross back over to this universe, surely he could cross over to hers.

Rose. All he could think about was Rose.

He missed her beyond reason. He missed her smile, her love of exploration, her love for him. Rose was unique. Special. Finding her was now his top priority. Who cared if he could possible collapse both universes? Who cared about the lives he would be putting in danger just to get to her? There was a part of him who did but the larger part of him ignored these feeble thoughts and focused on the mission he was embarking upon.

The Doctor stared unblinkingly at the monitor, staring until his eyes blurred and he was forced to blink. His brain seemed to have frozen. That was a new experience for him. He almost always knew what to do and when he didn't, he always had some sort of idea where to go. But now he seemed to have stalled. The thought of Rose hurting and being used by his counterpart seemed to have short-circuited his brain.

She'd called him the Valeyard. That in and of itself was a scary thought. He'd faced the Valeyard in a previous regeneration. The Valeyard in this universe had been stopped though he had escaped. It seemed as if his meta-crisis had become the Valeyard of Rose's current universe. The memories from the Valeyard he had met so many years ago surfaced. That incarnation of himself was terrifying. It was extremely worrisome if he had appeared in the parallel world. What had the Master said so long ago?

" _An amalgamation of the darker side of the Doctor's nature."_

Yes. The Master had been right and the idea of Rose being trapped with him made him extremely angry. Killing him would be the right thing to do. He only had one heart, one life, no regeneration ability. The Doctor hated taking a life but the Valeyard was his responsibility. It would only be killing himself, or a version of himself. That wouldn't be difficult at all.

He sighed and sank back onto the jump seat. He needed to get out of his depressed state-of-mind. An idea formed and he paused. It would be stupid. Reckless. But he had to. He had to see her.

The Doctor stood and plugged in the coordinates for the Powell Estates, London. He made sure the date was set well before he'd met Rose the first time when he was his leather jacket wearing self. The TARDIS landed and he paused at the doors. He had to be careful. He didn't want to change any events. He didn't want anything to be rewritten when it came to Rose.

He exited and found himself standing in a familiar alley. He decided to check if Rose was home first. The entire time he walked up the stairs he battled with himself. This was reckless. But he needed it. He needed to see her.

Rose's door was suddenly before him. He hesitated for a moment and then knocked. A voice he recognized called out and Jackie Tyler opened the door. It was a shock to see the mother of his favorite companion. He remembered her temper all too well to the point of wanting to take a step back. The phantom memory of his slap crossed his mind. It had been a damn good slap. A well deserved slap at that.

"Who are you?" Jackie asked as she looked him up and down.

"I, uh, am looking for Rose," the Doctor said nervously.

"Rose isn't here. She's at work. Who are you?"

"Just a friend. John Smith. I'll, uh, come back later." The Doctor couldn't believe how nervous he was feeling. He wasn't even talking to Rose and his palms were sweaty. He felt like a school-boy trying to get up the courage to talk to his crush. He turned to walk away before Jackie called out to him.

"Oi! What do you want with my daughter?"

"Nothing. I just wanted to say hi. I was in the neighborhood. Just tell her I said hi for me. Please?"

Jackie's eyes narrowed but nodded. She shut the door and the Doctor heard the lock and chain slide into place. Jackie Tyler always had good instincts. She'd never really liked the Doctor. That was completely understandable. He hadn't made a very good first impression.

He decided to walk to the shop that he would blow up in her future. If she was working he could at least see her from a distance. That wouldn't be too bad. Besides, she'd never seen this face before so there wasn't a risk of her remembering him. The walk wasn't difficult and he soon found himself in front of the shop. Again the nervous feeling overcame him. He felt ridiculous. Giving himself a vigorous shake, he walked in the door.

It didn't take him long to find Rose. She was in the women's department folding clothes and straightening up. Seeing her was like a punch to the gut. His resolve not to talk to her faltered then failed. He walked to the men's section, grabbed two ridiculously awful shirts, and brought them over to her.

"Excuse me miss. Can you help me?"

Rose looked up from her work and smiled at him. He looked at his options and raised an eyebrow.

"You're thinking of buying one of those?" she asked skeptically.

"I'm not very good at picking things out. I wanted a new shirt and a bow tie," the Doctor adjusted his bow tie slightly and smiled.

"Bow tie? Are you going somewhere special?"

"Hey! Bow ties are cool. And no, just for everyday use."

Rose gave him an appraising look, taking in his clothing choice and the two ridiculous shirts in his hands.

"Right. You definitely need some help. Follow me." She walked away from him and towards the men's department. She looked over her shoulder and said, "I'm Rose Tyler by the way."

"John Smith."

"Nice to meet you John."

The Doctor and Rose made their way through a variety of shirts. He purposely picked out the craziest and extremely unattractive ones. He'd hold them up to his chest and ask for Rose's opinion. Rose laughed at each choice and would provide an alternative. Hearing her laugh filled him with happiness. After seeing her so angry in the dreams, this laughing Rose was exactly what he needed. This was a Rose untainted by him, still dreaming of a different life. A Rose who was ready for a change. Little did she know what was in store for her.

If she had known what her future held, would she have stepped into the TARDIS on that cold night in that dark alley? The Doctor hoped so. He could not ask her of course. He could not disturb her timeline. He was determined of that. Rose was the one who had saved him. Rose had made him a better man. He could not change her future or his, even if it meant he'd save her from the heartache she was experiencing now.

The Doctor spent a good hour with Rose, modeling shirts and bow ties. He didn't want to leave. He didn't want to return to the present. He didn't want to go back into darkness when he could pretend to be in the light for the time being. But Rose had to go, she had work to do. She'd already been told off by her manager and the Doctor would not risk her job. This was the place they had met after all.

The Doctor paid for the two new shirts and a bow tie with a credit card. It had no limit so there were no worries with that. He had made sure to have money in his pocket. Hadn't she complained that he didn't have the money to pay for some chips?

" _I'm a Time Lord. I'm the last of the Time Lords. They're all gone. I'm the only survivor. I'm left travelling on my own cause there's no one else," the Doctor said sadly._

" _There's me," Rose replied._

" _You've seen how dangerous it is. Do you want to go home?"The Doctor dreaded hearing the possible words. He didn't want her to leave. He needed her. He knew deep down that he needed her._

" _I don't know. I want. Oh, can you smell chips?"_

_The Doctor was completely taken aback by this. It was not what he had been expecting. "Yeah. Yeah."_

" _I want chips."_

" _Me too." He smiled at her._

She had been happy then too, fresh after their first adventure. She'd given him that smile, her tongue poking between her teeth, her eyes suggestive. He knew then that he didn't want her to ever leave. He wanted her to spend the rest of her human life with him in the TARDIS. Despite that desire, he had known that it would never happen.

As the Doctor made his way through the city towards the TARDIS, he allowed himself to drift off into the good times he had shared with Rose. Once he was back in the TARDIS, all his attention went to finding and saving Rose. She'd said she could take of herself but he knew that she couldn't. She was suffering and he would do all in his power to rescue her even if she didn't want to be saved. Rose was stubborn but so was he. He didn't know what the future held but he was damn sure it was going to include Rose.


	16. Chapter 16

Rose was in the TARDIS again. The Valeyard couldn't seem to keep her away. After frying three locks he'd given up. He had been afraid that she would try to escape in the beginning but he no longer worried. She wasn't going to steal the TARDIS; she just wanted to be with the ship. She'd said that the TARDIS couldn't travel and he finally believed her.

Rose was a little different now that the TARDIS had grown. There was a bond there that the Valeyard desperately wanted to study. It seemed that Rose couldn't be separated from the ship for very long. He'd find her wandering the corridors aimlessly sometimes, lost in thought. When he'd asked her what she was doing she had told him she was talking to the TARDIS and hadn't realized she'd been walking. It was obvious that this TARDIS was much different than her sister.

The Valeyard still kept the room holding the TARDIS locked and away from the prying eyes of his agents. He wouldn't risk the safety of the TARDIS. He didn't trust his men. They followed his orders without question but he made sure watch his back for the invisible knife that could come his way. Rose's stronger access to the Vortex allowed her to see timelines better than before but time changed so frequently it was almost impossible to predict what the future held. Everything depended on the decisions a person made. Time could be rewritten after all. She'd seen his death in many ways but she'd also seen him live. There was never a guarantee when it came to future events.

He had a feeling Rose was in the TARDIS again. She had yet to break the mind link for which he was grateful. It made everything so much easier and he found he was much more comfortable. His life was so much more comfortable. No fighting. No pain. It was all simple now. He found Rose to be much happier too and he loved it. She was more like the old Rose; prior to the fear of him she'd developed. But everything he'd done had been necessary. He'd gotten what he wanted in the end.

The console room lit up as he walked in, the door behind him sliding shut. He paused next to the time column for a moment, simply taking in the beauty of it all. It spoke of Rose and Bad Wolf. The tour of the TARDIS had been wonderful. Rose had narrated most of it, telling things about the ship he'd never known about TARDISes. She'd wandered away at one point and he found her in the room with the Eye of Harmony, taking in its magnificence. Even though Rose could regenerate, he hadn't wanted her to waste the energy. He'd pulled her protesting form out of the room and scolded her. Rose had stood there with her arms crossed and eyebrows raised.

"You done?" she'd asked when he had paused for breath.

"I-"

"Look," she had said while pointing her finger at him menacingly, "you don't have to be so protective of me. I had plenty of time before I had to leave. Do you really think I would put myself in danger when I am focusing on getting complete access to Bad Wolf and going home? No. The TARDIS was going to tell me when to leave. I know what I'm doing Valeyard." Then her eyes had softened and her body relaxed. "Please don't worry."

He had forgotten how Rose could get when she was fired up. In that moment she had looked exactly like her mother. He'd almost stepped back in fear of the ominous Tyler slap.

The song of the TARDIS was in his mind and he reveled in it. This was something he had missed so much it had hurt. All those long years without it had finally paid off. The TARDIS was alive and thriving.

Rose knew the second the Valeyard had stepped aboard. She felt his presence in her mind and through her link with the TARDIS. He would spend a good time wandering around trying to find her. The TARDIS liked to make a game of how long he would search before he got frustrated and threw a tantrum. It was something Rose enjoyed immensely despite his irritation.

She was in a new room today. The TARDIS had created it for her to have a little fun. The entire room was black. Black tiles covered the floor, walls, and ceiling. With the door to the room closed, Rose was in pitch blackness. She couldn't even see the hand she held in front of her face. It felt as if she were floating in space. The darkness used to scare her but no longer. She had a solution to the terror it could cause.

With a smile on her face, Rose spread her arms wide and channeled Vortex energy through her body. She became a glowing beacon. The light bounced around the room, reflecting off the surface of the tiles and the flecks of glass mixed in with the tile. The room glittered and glowed. Rose felt her heart lift and then, to her surprise, her feet left the ground. She gasped and looked down.

"I'm floating!" she cried.

The TARDIS song rang through her mind.

Rose laughed. There were no words to describe this feeling. The feeling of hovering in the air, not touching anything, was beyond wonderful. This had to be what it felt like to be in space with no gravity. It was fantastic.

The door to the room opened causing Rose's concentration to falter. She yelped and crashed to the floor. Her ankles did not appreciate the sudden impact and screamed in pain. She cursed and clutched them. She looked at the door to find the Valeyard standing there staring at her with an open mouth.

"You could have knocked!" she snarled as her eyes flashed gold.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know," the Valeyard said as he walked to her. "Are you hurt?"

Rose shot him a dirty look but shook her head. "No. Probably just a sprain."

The Valeyard nodded and took a look around him. "What is this?"

"I dreamt about a room like this last night and I found it here this morning."

The door was still open so the light from outside poured in. Rose's light had disappeared when she'd fallen so they were in semi-darkness. A part of Rose was furious with the Valeyard for finding her and interrupting her knew discovery. Another part of her wanted to show off.

"What were you doing? You're on the floor for some reason."

"I was floating in the air actually."

The Valeyard's eyebrows shot up with interest. "Floating?"

"Hovering, levitating, whatever you want to call it."

"I would never have guessed you would be able to do that. Do you want to show me?" There was slight pleading tone in his voice making Rose smile a bit.

"Okay. Close the door."

When the door closed the room plunged into darkness once again. The Valeyard frowned as he waited. He didn't like the never ending blackness. There was no light, not even light from a crack on the door. He tried to wait patiently for Rose to begin but his heart began to pick up speed.

"Rose."

"Shh."

Suddenly the darkness was replaced by brilliant light. Rose was in front of him, hovering in the air. Her hair blew around her as if in a phantom wind. Her entire body glowed and the light radiated out of her like she was a sun. A smile lit her face as she displayed her power to him. It was obvious that using her power filled her with joy and happiness.

With a sigh Rose lowered herself to the floor. She conjured two balls of light and sent them floating in the air as she forced the glow around her to diminish. Their glow set off the sparkles that were the reflections of the glass shards. The room looked like it was lit with thousands of small stars. Rose grabbed a mattress from the corner of the room and dragged the heavy object to the middle. She laid down on it and the Valeyard joined her. They laid there in silence for a long while just taking in their surroundings.

Rose lifted her arm and twirled her fingers in the air. Miniature models of people appeared. The leather jacket-wearing Doctor hovered before them. Rose looked at the previous incarnation of the Doctor fondly. A small smile appeared on her face as she remembered some of their many adventures. She then waved it away and conjured models of her family. Jackie, Pete, and Tony appeared just as she remembered them. A sharp pain stabbed her heart as she looked at them. How she missed them. She wished she could go back and prevent the accident. But she didn't want to take a chance of creating a paradox and setting Reapers loose in the world. She couldn't live with that guilt.

With another wave her family disappeared.

"You're powers are growing," the Valeyard commented after a while.

"I know. I just wish I could access all of them then we could go home."

"So do I but the process is becoming much more difficult."

This was very true. Rose's mental defenses, once so broken, were rebuilding by no choice of her own. Bad Wolf seemed to dislike the Valeyard's intrusions and didn't take kindly to it. Rose had to focus very hard on not ejecting the Valeyard from her mind. It was proving to be quite difficult.

"I was thinking that you should just finish the job next time. I don't care about the pain."

The Valeyard frowned at this. He knew the pain was necessary but he didn't want to break her either.

"I don't think that's a good idea. You're mind could fracture under the weight of it. I'm not willing to risk that."

"Valeyard I know I can handle it. I'm running out of patience. I'm ready to be done. I want to go home," Rose told him, frustration laced in her tone.

"Rose it's dangerous. I'm not even sure how dangerous it is. I can't lose you now. Not after everything we've been through."

Rose sighed and turned on her side to look at the Valeyard. He was still admiring her handiwork in the room. Looking at him was hard for Rose sometimes. Her feelings towards him were so conflicted. Their history was long and most of it was unpleasant. She couldn't forget the pain and torture she was put through because of him but she also couldn't forget the love she felt towards him. Well, she thought it was love. She could never be sure.

_It is love. You love him. You have always loved him._

The damn voice needed to go the hell away. It was becoming quite irksome.

"Please do this for me. There isn't much left. I know how to get us home now. Once I have enough power I can do it. I know I can do it. Please Valeyard."

The Valeyard looked long and hard at Rose, studying her face. Rose couldn't tell what he was thinking. He kept his mind firmly closed. They were still linked but no thoughts or feelings crossed the connection. It was just a presence.

"I have one condition," the Valeyard paused. "Marry me."

Rose's heart skipped a beat and a small gasp escaped her lips. Marry him? She couldn't marry him. The idea was crazy. He was crazy! She wasn't ready for marriage. And to the Valeyard? Somehow she thought there might be a deeper meaning in a marriage to him. Was there some trickery behind this condition?

_He wants to marry you because he loves you. Say yes._

Rose opened her mouth and then shut it, lost for words. She was frozen. Her mind couldn't comprehend anything. Why was she having such a violent reaction to such a simple request? But it wasn't simple. It was huge. Rose had always pictured herself being married and having children but when she'd imagined her husband, a different name popped into her head. A different man with a different name but with an identical face to the man lying next to her. The Valeyard was not the Doctor. He wasn't even the Doctor's meta-crisis anymore. He was simply the Valeyard. She had loved him.

_You do love him._

'I love him?'

"Rose? Say you'll marry me." There was almost a command in his tone but Rose wasn't sure.

_Say it._

'I can't. I can't. I can't.'

_SAY IT_.

Pain shot through her entire body. She couldn't _not_ say it.

"Yes," she said in a whisper so quiet she hoped he hadn't heard.

His wide grin told her that he had. She had to focus with all her might to not let any emotion cross their mind link. Why did she feel so conflicted? If the voice was to be believed then she should want to marry him. The voice told her she loved him. She could remember loving him. She had loved him with all her being. Did she love him still?

_Yes. Now you will show him your love. You want to marry him._

There was so much conflict within her that she didn't want to think anymore. She wanted to disappear. She wanted to be alone. It was too much. It was all just too much. Her body seemed to be shutting down under the panic within her. The TARDIS song floated through her mind, trying to calm her, to soothe her. Rose grasped onto the song. She needed it. She needed to stay sane.

The Valeyard, oblivious to Rose's plight, felt his heart soar. Finally. She was his. She was going to be completely his. There would be nothing to stop them from being together forever.


	17. Chapter 17

The Doctor stared at the monitor, reading the circular Gallifreyan. He'd found a crack between the two worlds. It was small but it was there. He could do something about said crack but which something was the problem.

One. He could close the crack and prevent it from opening further just like he had done when the TARDIS had fallen into Pete's world the first time.

Two. He could leave it open for Rose to cross over to this universe. Apparently it was possible, at least she thought so. He couldn't see how but he wouldn't put it past her to figure out a way. She was Rose after all.

Three. He could go through it with his TARDIS and into Rose's world.

Option three wasn't really an option. He couldn't risk the TARDIS. When she'd fallen into a crack the last time he'd almost lost his precious ship. She'd almost died. He couldn't let that happen. He couldn't lose the TARDIS, not even for Rose. If only there was a way to cross the Void without endangering the ship but, try as he might, he couldn't think of one.

He ran a hand down his face in obvious frustration. His eyes itched with tiredness. He felt like he needed matchsticks to keep them open. The Doctor hadn't slept for quite a long time. He couldn't actually remember when he had last lay down to rest. Sleep hadn't interested him and the idea of it seemed like a waste of time. Apparently his body wasn't too pleased with his decision.

"Fuck," the Doctor said. He didn't usually curse but he had no other words. He felt helpless. Anger consumed him. He was the Doctor. The Oncoming Storm. He should be able to figure out how to do this!

If only Gallifrey still existed in the universe. Time Lords had once been able to travel between the worlds but now, now there was nothing he could do. A small pang of sadness gripped his hearts for a moment at the loss of his beloved home. His decision to use the Moment had been the right one. He'd had no other choice. But the loss and devastation he'd caused would haunt him forever. His survival had been the cost for using the Moment. He understood it. He accepted it.

Rose had been able to help him with his grief and despair. She'd given him hope and brought him joy. Everything about her lit his world. She'd saved his life and his soul more than once. Now it was time for him to return the favor.

The TARDIS song brushed his mind, trying to bring comfort to her Thief. The Doctor fell onto the jump seat with a sigh. Maybe he did need sleep after all. Maybe his brain would come up with a solution while the rest of his body shut down. If not, then he could only wait until Rose came home.

"What an interesting day that will be," he muttered before sleep claimed him.

* * *

Rose lay in the bed she shared with the Valeyard. He was asleep beside her. The clock on the nightstand read 2:37am. She'd been unable to sleep ever since she'd said yes to the Valeyard's proposal. That was four days ago. The times she did sleep, her dreams were filled with horrors she was never able to remember when she awoke.

The Valeyard wanted to get married as soon as possible. Rose wanted to finish their work with Bad Wolf as soon as possible. Though she'd begged, the Valeyard would not continue until they exchanged vows and promised forever to each other.

Forever. She'd said that to the Doctor once. Of course that had been a different time. That had been a different Doctor. That had been before the darkness brought the daleks. This was not the future Rose had thought she would have. When she was traveling with the Doctor, she'd seen herself in the TARDIS until her dying day. It would have been hard for the Doctor to see her grow old but she had been so determined that she would always be with him.

She almost laughed aloud. If only she'd known then what she knew now. What would her past self had said if Rose had shown her the future? Rose sighed. It wouldn't have deterred her past self in the slightest. Being with the Doctor had been worth it all at the time. And she would have done everything in her power to rewrite her future. Sadly it hadn't worked out like that.

The Valeyard rolled over onto his stomach and threw his arm across her body. She looked at the man beside her. She could be happy with him, right?

_Yes._

'Go away you stupid voice,' Rose thought at it.

_That is impossible. I am you. You cannot get rid of yourself._

'I can certainly try.'

_You will not succeed._

If only that voice had a physical form. She'd shake it until it gave her all the answers and told her why the hell it had popped up after this last regeneration. It wouldn't bother her so much if it wasn't so commanding. It could control her. Twice now it had taken over and that was the only times when she'd fought it. It caused horrible pain when she fought it. How many times had she followed its orders without realizing it? It wasn't normal.

_You are over thinking. Go to sleep._

Instantly Rose felt her body grow heavy as exhaustion came over her. She fought it. Here was proof that the voice was actually in control.

_Go to sleep little wolf._

'No!'

Rose tried to fight it but this was bone deep tiredness. How do you fight that? It was true; she was tired and was thinking quite a bit. Maybe sleep was exactly what she needed.

No! That was the voice influencing her again. She had to stay awake to prove to herself that she was in control. No mysterious voice could control her. No one could do that. She was free. She was in control. She was Rose fucking Tyler. She was stubborn and had an iron will. She was a Tyler. She was her mother's daughter. She never gave up, never gave in. She always fought. Always.

Until she'd finally caved when the torture began anew. She'd been weak. Did she regret her decision?

_No._

Very true. There was no regret there.

_Sleep wolf, sleep._

A small whimper escaped Rose's lips but all the fight went out of her. She finally gave in and let the darkness take over her.

* * *

The Valeyard stood next to Rose's side of the bed, watching her sleep. She hadn't twitched or made a sound when he'd gotten up. Usually she did something; a small sigh, a frustrated groan, rolling over to get more comfortable. She did none of these things this morning. He looked down at her with concern. She was breathing. Nothing seemed out of place.

To be on the safe side the Valeyard went to his nightstand and pulled out his sonic screwdriver. The TARDIS had provided it for him and he felt like a missing part of him had returned. He hadn't realized how much comfort he took in having his sonic. It had been an extension of him and the joy of having it back was wonderful.

Hoping the noise wouldn't wake her, the Valeyard scanned her body with the screwdriver. He looked at the readings and everything seemed normal. With a sigh of relief he went to get ready for the day.

There were a lot of plans to be made. He wanted Rose to contribute to the wedding plans. It would be within a week. He didn't want to wait and he knew she wanted to finish what they'd started with the wall in her mind. His only hesitation was the possibility of losing her as he almost lost her on the game station. But she had been human then. She was definitely not human now.

The Valeyard made his way down to the hall where the ceremony would be held. His old personal assistant was in there with her clipboard, telling people what to do and where to go. He had transferred her to his second in command once Rose had decided to stop fighting him. He couldn't remember her name. Was is Jessica? Jennifer? Julie? He knew it started with J.

"Hello sir," J said when she noticed he'd entered the room. "Everything is coming together nicely."

The Valeyard looked around and nodded. "Yes it seems so."

"Would you like to go over the guest list now?"

J unclipped the papers on her clipboard and shuffled through them. Once she found the list and began to name off the names of the guests. The Valeyard really didn't pay attention. He didn't care who would be attending. Well, he'd told J not to invite anyone who had partaken in Rose's experimentation. He'd given her the order to invite only those she thought important. He just wanted a full audience.

"Is there anyone I am missing?"

"No. It sounds good."

J smiled in satisfaction. "Perfect."

"There is something I need of you," the Valeyard told her.

"Anything sir."

"You will be Rose's maid of honor."

J blinked in surprise for a moment before nodding in agreement. "That would be lovely."

"You will help her pick out a dress and pick out one for yourself, taking Rose's opinion into consideration. There will be no expense spared. I will also need a tux for my best man."

"Who is your best man?"

"Andrew. My second."

J wrote on her clipboard for a moment and looked up at the Valeyard with a smile.

"It will be done sir. Anything else?"

The Valeyard looked around the room for a moment but could see nothing that needed his attention. J seemed to have everything under control.

"No. That will be all," he hesitated for a moment before saying, "What is your name?"

J smiled without judgment. "Jane sir."

"Right, Jane. Well Jane, get back to work. Thank you for your hard work."

Jane gave the Valeyard a respectful bow and walked away. She was a good worker and a good assistant. He had no need of her now so her transfer had been a good decision but he did miss having someone who took care of the more mundane aspects of his life.

The Valeyard left the hall to get back to some of his regular duties. He needed to get his affairs in order for when Rose and he left this universe. Torchwood would fall into Andrew's hands and he needed to make sure everything was in order. He didn't much care about Torchwood's fate after they left but he did appreciate the hard work Andrew had put in over the years. He thought it would be good of him to prepare his Second for his future. Rose would approve.

It was all coming together. Everything was going as planned. He'd been patient and his patience had paid off. Soon, very soon, he would be out of the hell of this universe and into the one he truly belonged in. It would be interesting to see what would happen when they ran into the Doctor. It would be so easy to rid that universe of the legendary hero. The Valeyard would take the Doctor's place as he already had in Rose's life. He had plans for that universe; big plans. And with Rose's help, those plans could not fail. He smiled at the thought and walked into his office, dreaming of his future with Rose by his side.


	18. Chapter 18

The sound of the bedroom door opening woke Rose from her much needed sleep. She was vaguely annoyed by the disturbance. She'd finally been able to sleep without the nightmares or dreams that were actually communications with the Doctor or his TARDIS. She guessed she had the voice to thank for that.

"Line them up against the left wall," a woman called from the doorway that led to the living area of the mini-flat she and the Valeyard shared.

Rose felt someone shaking her gently moments later, trying to wake her up. She had the sudden urge to send the person flying out of the room and slamming the door shut.

"What?" Rose asked grumpily.

"Ms. Tyler, I need you to wake up."

When Rose opened her eyes she was greeted by a woman in a tailored suit. She looked to be in her mid-thirties with her brown hair tied up in a tight bun. Her brown eyes were sharp and intelligent but she gave Rose a gentle smile.

"Who the hell are you and why are you waking me up?" Rose knew she was being rude but at the moment she didn't care.

"My name is Jane. I used to be the Valeyard's personal assistant. I'm now Andrew Gardner's assistant. The Valeyard still requires my help and has tasked me to help you with choosing your wedding dress and mine."

"Yours?"

"Yes. I'm to be your maid of honor."

Rose's mouth dropped. This woman, Jane, was a complete stranger to her and the Valeyard expected Rose to have her as the maid of honor? Rose couldn't believe him. She would rather not have anyone at all. She had no friends and no family left. There was no one she wanted to be at the altar with her. Sometimes the Valeyard over stepped his bounds.

"I don't even know you," Rose said bluntly.

Jane smiled again. She was being annoyingly agreeable and nice. Rose wanted to be angry but Jane was making it quite difficult. Rose could tell that Jane could be anyone the Valeyard needed her to be. Right now the Valeyard needed her to be nice to Rose and get Rose to do as he requested. This woman could blend in anywhere. A chameleon. She was probably a great undercover agent. Jane was no mere personal assistant. Her job description probably didn't match what her job title implied. All of these things put Rose on her guard. She didn't trust people like Jane and with good reason.

"No you don't but this is what the Valeyard wants. I'm sure you don't want to upset him."

No. She didn't want him to be upset at all. She did want to give him a piece of her mind though.

_He is doing this for you. He wants you to be happy._

'He still could have asked,' Rose told the voice furiously.

She resisted the urge to hit her head against the nearest hard object. She had this strange idea that if she hit it hard enough the voice would go away. She knew it was mad and completely illogical but the idea was tempting.

"Ms. Tyler, can you please get up so we can get started?"

Jane phrased it as a question but Rose knew it was an order. Rose focused on Jane and looked into her timeline to see her possible futures. Rose liked the one where she threw Jane against the wall so hard that the drywall broke, revealing the wall's inner framework. Jane didn't get up in that particular timeline. With a sigh, Rose climbed out of her bed and made her way to the bathroom.

"Get some snacks. Maybe some chips. And," Rose paused, thinking, "get some coffee. I'm going to need it."

Jane nodded and left without a word. Rose stared at the closed bedroom door. She was dreading the next few hours.

Her gold wolf appeared as soon as Jane left. Rose smiled and placed her hand on the wolf's head. The gold energy they shared flowed between them, bring Rose a sense of calm. She needed calm. She needed her mind to stop racing. So much was happening so quickly and she was having a hard time wrapping her mind around it.

As soon as she'd woken from this latest regeneration, Rose knew that she would marry the Valeyard. She didn't know how she knew but she did. This regeneration was so different than her previous ones. What the hell had happened? She didn't know but she was determined to find out. Unfortunately the only person who could give her the whole story was the Valeyard and she had a feeling he wouldn't be revealing that information. Looking into his timeline was useless. His life was so deeply entwined with hers made it impossible to really see his past or his future.

Rose stared at herself in the mirror. The dark circles that had been under her eyes had lightened. She was grudgingly grateful for the voice's assistance on this occasion. Her hair was a curly mess and she desperately needed a shower. The idea of making Jane wait was amusing so Rose decided that taking a shower was exactly what she wanted to do at the moment. With a smile she undressed, turned on the hot water and took her time getting clean.

* * *

The Doctor had decided that he would leave the crack open. It was a dangerous choice but the idea of sealing it was far more bothersome to him. His patience was wearing thin. He wanted Rose to come through _now._ Time was moving too slowly for once in his life. He'd always been an impatient Time Lord and this waiting game was driving him mad. He couldn't skip ahead to the future because he didn't know when Rose would finally appear. Instead he continued to float in space, bored.

Once or twice he considered going to visit Clara but the idea was not entirely appealing. Clara was a great person who'd saved his life more than once. But she had a life and he needed to focus on Rose. He hadn't said good-bye. There was only a small feeling of guilt over it but it was easily ignored. Clara wouldn't like being around him anyways. He had a feeling that the Oncoming Storm would be much too dark for her lighthearted personality.

He could always visit Madame Vastra and Jenny. They always took care of him and they could help with the constant boredom he was currently facing. Or he could go visit another planet or two and relax. Ha! Relaxation was not something he did often and it was definitely not something he could do for long. Something always happened and his attention would always wander.

An alarm sounded from the TARDIS console and the ship shook violently. The Doctor stumbled to the monitor and saw that the crack had widened slightly. He needed to get the TARDIS away from it before the crack swallowed them into the Void. He had to protect the TARDIS. It looked like it was time for a visit to Victorian London. Maybe the lizard woman had a problem he could help with.

* * *

As she had thought, the dress decisions and fitting had taken forever. By the end of it Rose couldn't stand the sight of anything that reminded her of a wedding. She'd picked out a light pink dress for Jane and had randomly chosen a dress for herself. Trying on all of them had been wearisome. Jane and those who had assisted them seemed very excited for the upcoming nuptials. They tried to get Rose to voice her opinions and join in their excitement as well but Rose did not oblige. Rose could tell that Jane was annoyed but the woman hid her feelings quite well.

They women and the dresses had finally disappeared, leaving Rose alone in the living area of her rooms. She wasn't doing anything. She simply sat on the couch and stared at the blank screen of the telly that was mounted on the opposite wall. Her gold wolf lay on the couch next to her, her head on Rose's lap. Rose twirled her hand through the air, gold dust lingering in swirls in the air. The TARDIS song was quiet in her mind and no communication was passing between the two. Rose wanted to disappear for a little while, cease her existence, end the constant roiling of her thoughts and moods. She just wanted a break. Was that too much to ask for? So much was riding on her. Of course she wanted to cross the Void and get home and she would do whatever it took to succeed. But there was a part of her that was crumpling under the pressure resting on her shoulders. The TARDIS was counting on her. The Valeyard was counting on her. She couldn't fail.

Her wolf, sensing Rose's distress, shrank enough so she lay on Rose's lap comfortably. The wolf brightened slightly and fed more energy into Rose. Rose soaked in it, letting it fill her body and ease the panic in her mind. Her tightened chest slowly began to unwind. She hadn't even realized there had been a heavy weight there. Not for the first time was Rose beyond grateful for the presence of her wolf. She didn't know where she would be mentally if the wolf hadn't appeared all those months ago. Her wolf had kept her sane, had eased her suffering, had been the support she needed to make it through those endless days, the eternal nights.

Rose decided that she had to be strong. She had to face whatever was in store in her future. She would do whatever she had to do. Things would work out in the end. She had to remain positive.

Why was it always so hard to remain positive? Why was misery and negativity so easy to feel? It was a blessing and a curse. To feel happiness you had to be able to handle the sadness. At the moment her emotional state was in disarray. Too much was happening much too quickly. In that moment Rose wanted her mom more than ever. She wanted Jackie to wrap her arms and around Rose and hold her close. She missed the safety of her mother's arms. But that safety was gone. She was on her own now.

Rose sighed again and pulled the lever to open the foot rest on the couch. She was tired of thinking. It was time to sleep again. She desperately hoped she didn't dream again. She wanted peace. She wanted rest. She wanted silence.

_Do not worry little Wolf_ , the TARDIS spoke into her mind, _Things will work out in the end._

She desperately clung to the TARDIS's words as she closed her eyes and drifted into darkness.


	19. Chapter 19

Rose was in the console room pacing. She was getting married in less than an hour and she was seriously considering locking herself away and refusing to come out ever again. Where had the time gone? How had this happened so quickly? Why the hell had she accepted his proposal in the first place?

"Shit. Shit shit shit. Fucking shit."

She stopped in front of a full length mirror and looked at herself. Her wedding dress was beautiful. It was simple; an A-line strapless dress with a heart-shaped neckline. Around her waist were diamond-like stones that glittered as the light reflected off of it. It fell to the floor smoothly and it had a short train that trailed behind her. Her hair fell in loose curls and her make-up was simple and clean. She looked beautiful.

Her gold wolf lay on the jump seat, watching her pace. The TARDIS song within her mind was louder than usual but the TARDIS did not respond to anything Rose said. She found it very annoying. She thought she could use some of the comfort right now but apparently the TARDIS had decided to keep her opinions to herself.

Rose went to the gold wolf and sat down next to her on the seat. The wolf stood up and pressed her forehead to Rose's. Rose wrapped her arms around the wolf's neck and held on tightly, as if she were drowning and the wolf was her lifesaver. Tears threatened to fall but Rose refused to break down. This was the only way. This is what she had to do.

An alarm sounded and Rose looked up to the monitor on the TARDIS's console. Jane had just gotten off the elevator on this floor, obviously looking for Rose. Rose checked the time and realized she was going to be late if she didn't leave soon. The heavy weight on her chest grew heavier as dread filled her. She watched as Jane walked towards the room that the TARDIS occupied and decided she didn't want to meet Jane at the door.

"Any advice?" she asked as she stood and braced herself for the upcoming events that she was dreading so much.

The TARDIS didn't reply but the song within her mind swelled, filling her with a sense of peace and support.

"Thanks."

Rose stepped out of the room before Jane could approach it. She didn't want Jane anywhere near the TARDIS even if the room was locked. Jane opened her mouth to say something but Rose held her hand up, stopping Jane from speaking.

"I know. Let's go before we're late."

A small, frustrated noise escaped from Jane but Rose ignored it. She didn't give a damn what Jane thought. Rose just wanted to get this damn thing over with. She wanted to run down the aisle, exchange their vows as quickly as possible and then be done. She didn't want to do a reception. She didn't want to stand and mingle with people she didn't know. All of her old friends from Torchwood were long gone. Why would she want to pretend to have fun with people she despised?

_You will do this because the Valeyard wants it. You will do whatever the Valeyard wants. You do this because you love him._

Rose shook her head and tried to ignore the voice. However, she wasn't surprised that it had decided to make an appearance. It tended to pop up when she was in high stress situations and she began to question the Valeyard and what he wanted. She was almost curious as to what it would say while they exchanged vows.

Panic and anxiety began to press in on her as they grew closer to the hall. She reached for the TARDIS and the ship responded with her reassuring song. Rose grasped onto it like a lifeline and used it to keep from drowning. She had to force herself to calm down. She had agreed to this. It would be worth it. She did love him after all. Right?

_Right._

And once this was done she was going home. She would be out of Torchwood tower and back in her universe. She could get back to _her_ London on _her_ Earth.

Then they were standing before the closed doors that led to the hall and the aisle beyond it. Rose pushed her shoulders back and forced herself to focus on what was going on in the moment. The doors opened slightly and music began to leak out. Jane gave Rose a smile and walked through the doors. Through the crack Rose could see her making her way towards the altar.

The Bridal Procession song drifted out, telling Rose it was time. The two agents at the doors pulled them open. Rose pushed down any doubts, fears, worries, and any other distraction and forced herself to focus on the moment. She stepped onto the white linen that led to the altar and plastered a smile on her face. The Valeyard stood out from everything else in the room. He was beaming and looked extremely handsome in his tux. His beaming face changed the forced smile into a real one. She hadn't seen him look like that in a very long time. For a moment he wasn't the Valeyard, he was the Doctor. The illusion broke as she walked closer to her destination.

It wasn't until she stepped up next to the Valeyard that she realized she didn't even have shoes on. It didn't matter. Rose didn't care what anyone thought. The audience was there as witnesses. They had no meaning in their lives. This ceremony was for the Valeyard and for Rose.

Rose handed her pink and white bouquet to Jane and turned to face the Valeyard. He took her hands in his and squeezed. Through the mind link Rose felt joy, wonder, contentment, euphoria, and so many other emotions she didn't have words for. She wondered what he felt as they stood there, minds merged, hands held tightly. His joy was infectious and it filled her body. She could feel the Time Vortex energy trying to come to the surface but she forced it down. She couldn't let the agents of Torchwood see her power. She and the Valeyard had agreed on that before the ceremony.

He could feel the heat coming from Rose and his sent a mental push, warning her and trying to help her get control. The TARDIS song grew stronger in their minds, helping Rose gain the control and focus she needed. The Valeyard smiled encouragingly and looked to the officiator.

"Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here today to celebrate the union of Rose Tyler and the Valeyard. If anyone has any objections to this union, please stand now."

The Valeyard glared at the audience, menace clear in his eyes. No one moved. He turned back to the man at the altar.

"This bride and this groom are here to come together in marriage. Your marriage today is the joining of your souls that have already been united as one in your hearts. This union is the celebration of the love you share. May you always need one another, not to fill an emptiness, but to help each other know your fullness. May you want one another, but not out of lack. May you embrace one another, but not encircle one another. No other ties are more tender and no other vows are more important than those you are about to take.

"And now, the bride and the groom will exchange the vows that will bind them together for all of time."

The officiator looked to the Valeyard and he began.

"All that I am, and all that I have, I offer to you in love and in joy. From this day forward I will love and comfort you, hold you close, prize you above all others, and remain faithful to you until the end of time. I am yours and you are mine. Together we are one. Do you take me as your husband, forever and for always?"

"I do."

The Valeyard beamed. Rose paused, gathering the words that she had written down the day before. Could she do this? Could she say the words?

_Yes. You can and you will do this._

With a deep breath Rose began.

"I join my life with yours from this time onward. Wherever you go, I will go. Whatever your face, I will face. For good or ill, in happiness or sadness, I take you as my husband and will give myself to no other. Two hearts become one. Two flames, one light. Let us walk together, and let us always walk towards the light. Do you take me as your wife, forever and for always?

"I do."

The officiant smiled and said, "And now we exchange rings. These rings are a token, a reminder, that you shall be faithful to one another."

Andrew handed the Valeyard a diamond ring and the Valeyard slipped it onto Rose's finger while saying:

"I give you this ring to wear with love and joy. As a ring has no end, neither shall my love for you. I choose you to be my wife on this day and forevermore."

Jane held her hand out and gave Rose a simple white gold band with Gallifreyan etchings around it. The Valeyard told her he would explain their meaning after their ceremony. Rose slid his ring onto his finger and repeated:

"I give you this ring to wear with love and joy. As a ring has no end, neither shall my life for you. I choose you to be my husband on this day and forevermore."

"You have declared before us that you will live together in marriage. You have made special promise to each other, which have been symbolized by the joining of hands, the taking of vows, and the giving and receiving of two rings. By the authority vested in me, I now pronounce you husband and wife." He turned to the Valeyard, "You may kiss the bride."

The Valeyard pulled Rose to him and pressed his lips to hers. Warmth spread between them as their lives became entangled for the rest of time. Rose could feel her life merging with the Valeyard's. It terrified her but thrilled her at the same time. When they pulled apart, the Valeyard saw that Rose's eyes had gone completely gold. While the audience clapped and cheered, he leaned in and whispered in Rose's ear.

"You're glowing my love."

Rose could hear the smile in his voice, the joy practically radiated from him. She forced her concentration of containing the Vortex within her. It swirled and beat at her defenses, wanting to display the emotions that roiled within her but she beat it back, promising it release once she was alone.

"I love you," the Valeyard said as he pulled back.

"I love you too."

Rose felt the truth in her words despite her confused thoughts. She couldn't go down into that mess quite yet. She needed to focus. She could figure everything else out later.

* * *

The Doctor was on Gallifrey. He looked all around him, desperate for Rose to appear. He needed information. He needed to know what she was doing. He needed to know if she was okay.

But Rose wasn't there. He hadn't seen her in a very long time. He was always searching. He searched and searched but Rose was just as allusive as always. He called out to her but she didn't appear. Why didn't she come when she'd come so many times before? What was keeping her away? Did she realize how desperate he had become? Didn't she realize that she had the answers he needed?

Of course not. Rose didn't care anymore. She didn't care what his needs were or his desperation. She was probably refusing to appear on purpose. She had to know it would be torture for him. The waiting was torture. Not knowing was torture. Rose, his Rose, would never have left him waiting like this. She would have found a way to communicate with him. She would have appeared in every dream, explain what was happening, do all she could to return to him. She loved him after all. Isn't that what a person did when they loved someone? Didn't they do everything in their power to be with the person they loved?

And the Doctor loved his pink and yellow human. He loved her with both his hearts. This foreign emotion had sprung up as suddenly as Rose had. Rose. Rose, who had promised him forever. Rose, who had always fought for him. Rose, his Rose, who had loved him. Did she still love him? Had he been replaced by another? The thought of it hurt. The thought of the Valeyard with Rose hurt him. Enraged him. He had left Rose with that man. He had thought he was doing the right thing. But that plan had backfired like so many of his plans did.

"Rose," the Doctor said, falling to his knees in the field of burnt orange grass and purple flowers, "please forgive me. Please Rose. Come back to me Rose. Come back."

But Rose didn't appear. All he heard was the whistle of the wind as it blew through the field and the sound of his breaking hearts.

* * *

The Valeyard wanted to go the reception. He wanted to celebrate. Rose wanted nothing to do with it. The two of them stood outside of the doors to the hall, having a heated but quiet argument.

"Rose, these are my men. They are expecting me, us, to be there. They want to celebrate with us. It's tradition to have a reception. They want to congratulate us."

Rose stood with her arms crossed over her chest. "Valeyard, I don't give a damn. Fuck those people. We are leaving. They mean nothing to you or me. Why would I want to be surrounded by people who don't really care? You know they don't. They're just following orders."

He ran his hand through his hair, making it stand on end. Rose always marveled at its gravity defying state. She knew the Valeyard was frustrated and a part of her liked it. She liked that she could cause such reactions from him.

"Okay fine," the Valeyard said finally with a very deep sigh. "I'll go let them know."

Five minutes later the Valeyard returned to find Rose in the place he'd left her. She seemed to be off in her own little world, moving from side to side to music only she could hear. He smiled at her pulled her into a hug, bringing her back to reality.

"Where would you like to go to celebrate our nuptials?"

"I'm sure the TARDIS has created a master suite for us. We should go break it in." A devious grin spread across her lips while her eyes flashed a brilliant gold.

The Valeyard squeezed her very tightly before releasing her and grabbing her hand as if they were off on another adventure.

"Then let us go celebrate."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I researched a lot of the wedding ceremony, including the officiator and vows. I kind of jumbled a bunch of vows together to make it work. I didn't realize how how it would to be to create vows! So I only take some credit for its compilation.


	20. Chapter 20

The TARDIS door opened as the Valeyard approached, carrying Rose in his arms. He set her down once they crossed the threshold, only so he could press another kiss to her lips. She was smiling when he pulled away. When he looked over her shoulder he saw pink high-heels on the floor next to a full-length mirror and the jump seat.

"Decided not to wear shoes?" he asked with a raised brow.

Rose looked to the forgotten shoes and smiled guiltily. "That was an accident. I left in a hurry. I didn't want to be late."

The Valeyard simply smiled at Rose and grabbed her hand. "Let us go see this new room the TARDIS has gifted to us."

The room was large, the size of a small flat. Rose's eyes widened when she stepped inside. She had not been expecting it. The king-size bed looked ever so inviting. The colors and size weren't what impressed Rose the most. The ceiling was filled with a starry sky. The Valeyard stared up at them too.

"That's the Andromeda galaxy," the Valeyard said in quiet awe.

"It's beautiful. We are sleeping under the stars Valeyard." Rose was smiling as she stared at the dark sky. She sent a silent thank you to the TARDIS. It was more than anything she could have ever imagined. Rose closed her eyes and, for a moment, felt as if she were floating among the stars above her.

The Valeyard watched Rose as she basked in the beauty above. Her shimmering aura brightened to a soft gold. The stars grew brighter in response to her light. He marveled at the beauty before his eyes. And she was his. Rose was finally his. They were married. After such a long time waiting, he finally had her. The joy at his triumph was astounding.

They stood in silence for a moment longer, Rose standing with her head back, the Valeyard gazing at her raptly. Then he couldn't take it anymore. He had to fill the space between them. He had to possess her completely; mind, body, and soul.

A small gasp of surprise escaped Rose when the Valeyard picked her up and brought her to the large bed. Rose saw a deep hunger in his eyes and for a moment she was afraid. She'd seen that hunger before, when he had been experimenting on her. However, before she could think about it further, the Valeyard's mouth was claiming hers. Heat uncoiled in her belly as desire built within her.

He was trying to get her dress off but wasn't having much success with her lying on her back. He growled in frustration, causing Rose to laugh. With deliberate slowness, Rose rolled over to show the ribbon lacing up her dress in her back. The Valeyard attacked the laces and quickly divested Rose and him of their clothing.

"You are beautiful my love, my Rose," the Valeyard whispered near her ear as he pressed a gentle kiss to the back of Rose's neck. His breath caused a shiver to run down her body. The Valeyard smiled at her body's reaction to him.

"Valeyard," she breathed, wanting him, needing him closer.

"Yes?"

"Take me. I am yours."

* * *

The Doctor found himself inside the Sanctuary Base on the plant Krop Tor. He looked around in disgust. Why the hell was he here? He had almost lost Rose more than once on this planet, if you could even call it a planet. He'd almost lost the TARDIS. He hadn't cared for his own life but Rose's life had been in danger too many times for his comfort. It ended happily enough; he got Rose and the TARDIS back.

Despite the happy ending, this place was certainly a living hell. Nothing was clean and the sky opened to a black hole. There was a nasty feeling in the air; probably his memories of the Beast in the pit. As he stared up at the black hole, a blinding gold light flashed at the corner of his vision. He didn't even have to look around to know who it was. Only Rose would bring him to this place.

"Well this is certainly an interesting meeting place, don't ya think?" Rose's voice was cool as she came to his side, staring up at the gaping hole in the black sky.

"You could say that," the Doctor replied. He looked to her and noticed a significant change in his pink and yellow human. Could he even call her human anymore?

"So, still trying to figure out how to save me Doctor?" There was a slight smile on her beautiful face. The golden aura he had seen around her in the past seemed brighter than ever before.

"You've changed. I don't understand Rose. You should be dead. You have all that Vortex energy running through you. You should be burning up."

Rose walked to a chair and sat down. She made a sweeping motion with her hand and another chair slid to rest across from her. She gestured to it, inviting him to sit. The Doctor hesitated for a moment before taking the seat. Her power was immense and he knew it had to be growing. What else could she do? What else was she hiding?

"I'd have thought a smart Time Lord like you would have figured it out by now. On the other hand, the Valeyard didn't figure it out either so I really shouldn't be surprised."

"You've changed so much Rose," the Doctor commented. Rose waved her hand, brushing his words aside.

"Oh Doctor, you're so sentimental. Certainly I've changed. You have too. Life changes us all." She gave him a pained smile, a small sign of the girl he once knew. "Do you know what it feels like to die? I mean really die? I know you've regenerated multiple times but there's a difference. I should know. I've died more times that I can remember now."

"I've felt the pain of almost dying. And regenerating is almost like death. I become a different man each time."

"Yes, you do become a different man. But in the end you're always you. You're always the Doctor," Rose said with a nod. "But dying, really dying, changes you on a much deeper level. Pain and suffering changes you. I don't even know if I can call myself Rose anymore."

Rage filled the Doctor's body, boiling in his veins. The Valeyard had done this to her. The Valeyard had made her become the being before him. There had been no way for the Doctor to know what his meta-crisis would do but he still blamed himself. Rose had been right. It was his fault in the end.

"What did he do to you?" he asked quietly. At first he hadn't wanted to know. He'd been afraid to ask, afraid to know. But now he needed to. He needed to know what she had endured.

A hollow laugh echoed through the empty room causing the hairs at the back of his neck to stand on end.

"What didn't he do? He started with tests first. That's when he was still going by the name Doctor and I still trusted him. Trust is a funny thing Doctor. I doubt I'll ever trust again. Lesson learned."

She sighed and continued, "Then one night, while I was watching the telly, he walks in with a gun and shoots me in the head, point blank." Rose smiled at the paled expression on the Doctor's face. "Not very pretty. But it was fast so almost no pain involved. Regenerated right then and there. That was my second regeneration. The first was an accident. That first accident changed everything." Her last sentence was spoken softly, almost like she hadn't meant to say it aloud.

"I still don't understand how you can regenerate. The amount of Time Vortex running through you is immense. You shouldn't be able to contain it. I couldn't even contain it. I regenerated when I thought I took it out of you."

"You took enough out so I wouldn't die. You couldn't extract it all. You're body couldn't handle the little you did take. As you removed it, the TARDIS and Bad Wolf created a wall within my mind to contain the remainder of the Vortex energy. My body slowly began to get used to it as the energy became part of my biological makeup. It's in my DNA now. That first regeneration, the first death, cracked enough of the wall for me to access a small part of the Vortex contained in my mind. It awakened Bad Wolf."

The Doctor nodded in understanding. It made sense. It also hurt that he had been unable to save her from the pain of her future. If the entirety of the Vortex energy had been removed, she would never had gone through the pain and suffering.

"What happened next?"

"I ran for it, obviously. Lasted a year. He caught me and began to experiment. Eventually he was able to force me to give him the ability to regenerate. He's a real Time Lord now. At first he killed me over and over in many different ways. I know what it feels like to have to life drain from your body. Once, he cut me up and waited to see how long it would take for me to die of blood loss and how long would I have to be dead before my regeneration began. It's funny. That cliche of feeling cold, it's so very true."

"Rose, I am so sorry," he leaned forward, reaching for her hands. She pulled away. That was when he noticed the ring on her left hand. "You married him?" He stood so quickly he knocked his chair over.

Rose simply looked at him, unfazed. She needed to tell him what he'd put her through. He needed to know the pain she had experienced. The Doctor's reaction to her ring wasn't a surprise but she wasn't going to let that stop her from answering his original question.

"After awhile, he stopped killing me," she continued as if he had not spoken, "He started torturing me; bringing me to the brink of death before stopping. I had to be broken, you see. It worked. But I'm no longer broken. He's made me stronger. I'm stronger than I've ever been before. I am Bad Wolf and once we are fully reunited, I will be coming home."

"You married him?"

Rose rolled her eyes. Was he going to stay stuck on that? "Yes I married him. I love him Doctor. He's hurt me but he's also done more for me than you ever have. He hasn't abandoned me. He's made me stronger. Don't you see? I'm better than I've ever been."

She stood and approached the Doctor slowly. He watched her warily but didn't move. He wanted to show her that he was sorry. He wanted her to see that he still loved her so much. She stopped mere inches from him. Their breath mingled and the Doctor savored the closeness of her. He wanted to touch her so much it hurt. But he wouldn't. Instead he stood there, frozen, waiting for her to make the next move.

She rose up onto her toes, her lips dangerous close to his. His lungs stopped working. Was she going to kiss him? It didn't make sense but he'd take what he could get. She pressed her body against his and warmth spread from her and into him. The Doctor let out a soft moan as he wrapped his arms around her. Rose laced her fingers behind his neck and pulled him closer to her. Slowly, ever so slowly, she pressed her lips to his.

Fire blazed where her lips met his. He felt as if she were breathing the fire into his lungs, his body. He let go of her and tried to push her away but she held on. The light around her grew brighter as the warmth became scorching heat. Rose's hands seared the back of his neck while his body felt like it was engulfed in flames. It was agony and he lost track of time. Darkness crept in at the corners of his vision.

Finally she released him and he fell to the floor, gasping for air and wincing at the flames that seemed to continue to course through his very veins. He looked at his hands but saw no signs of damage or burns. The Doctor looked up to Rose with watering eyes. She was smiling but there were tears in her eyes as well.

"See? Stronger." She sighed and looked to the sky for a moment, thinking. When she looked back to him, the tears that had been forming were gone.

"I know you found the crack. I'll be coming through it soon Doctor. If I were you, I wouldn't be waiting on the other side."

Rose bent down and pressed a soft hand to his cheek. He winced but no pain accompanied her touch. "See you around Doctor," she said in a whisper before disappearing in another flash of gold light.

From his place on the floor, the Doctor looked up and watched the black hole. Thoughts whirled through his mind as the pain began to subside. He would be on the other side on that crack. He would be waiting for Rose and the Valeyard. He would kill the Valeyard and he would save Rose. He would bring her back and fix the broken pieces his other self created. Rose would not suffer for the rest of her life. He would spend his remaining lives making it up to her.

"I'll save you Rose. Don't worry. I'll save you."

When he woke, the Doctor felt his chest burning. The hand-print Rose had given him was bright red. He knew it was a warning.

"I never listen to warnings Rose," he said into the empty air around him. As if she could hear him, the burning increased for a brief moment before fading away all together.


	21. Chapter 21

They spent a few days aboard the TARDIS, ignoring the world and its demands. Rose continued to pester the Valeyard about finishing what they'd started. She was ready to fully merge with Bad Wolf and his reluctance was starting to grate on her.

"You said the condition was to marry you. We are married now. It's time to hold up your end of the bargain. I'm ready to go home Valeyard," Rose told him one afternoon as they sat in the TARDIS's kitchen preparing lunch. There was no whine in her voice. It was a demand.

The Valeyard sighed. He wanted to leave as badly as Rose did but he was also afraid of losing her. He didn't want to lose her right after he got her back. Things were finally going his way and he didn't want to risk anything. To delay having to respond, the Valeyard took a large gulp of very hot tea. It scorched his throat causing him to go into a fit of coughs. Rose didn't even attempt to help him. She simply looked at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Fine. We'll do it in two days," he said in defeat.

"But-" Rose began.

"I have things I have to get together before we leave. Please be a little patient." He set his cup down and went to her side. He pulled her into a gentle hug and placed a kiss on top of her head. "Don't fret my love. We will get out of here. We have all the time in the universe."

It was Rose's turn to sigh but she smiled. They did have time on their side. What was two more days?

* * *

His office was exactly as he'd left it; if you didn't look at the stack of papers in his inbox. The Valeyard looked at the stack in disgust. Paperwork. He hated paperwork. Torchwood liked to keep track of things and of course they all needed the Valeyard's signature. No matter how hard he tried, people here insisted on writing everything down. Scientists loved to keep records.

Thankfully paper burned.

Ignoring the pile of hell, the Valeyard logged on to his computer and looked through some of his files. He saved all the information pertaining to Rose on an external hard drive then proceeded to wipe them from Torchwood's server. He was sure that information was saved elsewhere but he had a plan for that. Once he left there would be no trace of him or Rose.

A knock sounded and the Valeyard turned to glare at it. He didn't want to deal with these miserable humans any longer. He wanted to get his work done and then get out of this pathetic universe as fast as possible.

"What?" he said loudly.

The door opened and Jane's head appeared.

"Sorry to bother you sir, but there is a few matters that need your attention."

"I thought I told you to take everything to Andrew. Only come to me if it is major or if Andrew is unsure what to do."

"Yes sir, I know sir. It's just that Andrew is unavailable at the moment. He's out in the field and we need help translating an incoming message from a craft circling the planet. We don't have anyone as capable as you at translating alien languages."

The Valeyard knew that this place would fall apart without him. He wasn't worried but it still amazed him at their incompetence. He had set up classes on the different alien languages that each agent had to take. It drove him mad.

"Fine. I'll be there in a moment."

Soon. So very soon he would be out of the hell-hole that this place had become. He wouldn't have to worry about the incompetent idiots working for him any longer. Alien threats would no longer be his concern. In fact, they wouldn't be of any concern to Torchwood at all. The Valeyard liked to clean up after himself.

Jane was waiting on the other side of the door. He frowned. Did he need an escort? No. Again with the idiocy. As they walked, the Valeyard allowed her pull ahead of him. He studied her. She had been a useful spy. She could blend in anywhere. Jane's work had been a great help. Being grounded had taken its tole on her and now he found her an annoyance. It would be a pleasure to put her out of her misery.

* * *

Rose floated in her bedroom. The lights were off. The only source of illumination came from the brilliance of the stars and planets above her. She was looking at the Milky Way. A pang of longing shot through her heart. She just wanted to be home.

_Our bedroom_

The voice had remained silent for the past few days but its reappearance made her grind her teeth. She had hoped that it would go away but apparently not. She should have known not to get her hopes up. How many times had she hoped and how many times had she been disappointed? Why did she even bother anymore?

" _Our_ bedroom. Blimey."

_You share your life with the Valeyard now. What's yours is his._

"And what's his is mine?" she said in a doubtful tone.

The voice did not respond. Rose was not surprised.

It still bothered her. The voice had appeared with the regeneration. Something had happened. But she could not remember what. It drove her crazy. The voice did not explain it. Unfortunately the TARDIS chose not to comment as well. This TARDIS seemed to be as temperamental as the Doctor's. Rose didn't usually mind but at the moment she was ready to scream. Some part of her knew the ship could answer her question and yet the TARDIS remained silent. Why?

"Why?" she asked aloud.

There was no response; only the continual sound of the TARDIS's unique song.

Rose closed her eyes and tried to picture the wall containing Bad Wolf. She couldn't find it like the Valeyard could. She tended to get distracted by small things that brought her back to reality. The Valeyard could focus his thoughts and navigate someone's mind easily. Of course he had quite a lot of practice. All she wanted was to break the wall herself. Was that too much to ask?

After her seventh failed attempt, Rose gave up. She would just have to wait for the Valeyard. Being dependent on him for something so important to her was a bitter pill to swallow. Despite all her power, she was still dependent on him. Rose had been proud to be independent. She had been able to take care of herself. The past few years seemed to have robbed her of that independence.

Dwelling on past memories was not something Rose liked to do often. It brought up too many painful emotions. She had been through so much. Sometimes it surprised her. She'd experienced more things than the average person would live through in a lifetime. Being a companion to a time traveler tends to have an effect on that.

What would have happened if the Doctor had not appeared in the shop that day? What would have happened if the Nestene Consciousness had not come to Earth? What would have happened if she had not gone down the basement? What would have happened if the Doctor hadn't said that one word? The one word she could never forget. The one word that changed her life forever.

"Run," she whispered.

* * *

The Doctor had decided to wait. He hovered in space near the crack, watching, waiting, praying.

He did not like to wait. He was not known for his patience. Going through time in the right order was painful. So very painful. But he had no choice. He didn't know exactly when Rose would appear and he had to be present when she did. He had to make sure the crack closed behind her. He could not endanger the universe. And he wanted to be there if anything went wrong.

His feelings were not helping with the weight. Anxiety caused him to toss and turn, to pace the TARDIS, to have the desire to pull his hair from his head. The Doctor was not used to feeling anxious. Fear? Yes. Nervousness? Yes. Anger? Rage? Pain? Yes. Yes. Yes. But anxiety? That was definitely new. The pressure on his chest was uncomfortable. He had always been a quick thinker. He had to be. But the racing thoughts that ran through his mind were new.

The Doctor sat with the TARDIS doors open, his legs hanging over the edge. The beauty of space was all around him. Rose was coming soon. She had said so herself. There was only thing for him to do now.

He had to wait.


	22. Chapter 22

It was happening today. Rose was sitting up in bed staring straight ahead of her but not seeing anything. The Valeyard remained asleep at her side. Her mind was racing, keeping pace with her pounding heart. She was nervous and excited at the same time. She wanted to wake the Valeyard and get it over with but she knew he needed sleep. He had said that he had one more thing to do for Torchwood right before they left. Rose knew it was important for him to say a final good-bye.

Movement and then a cold hand pressing itself against Rose's back made her jump. A small chuckle came from the man next to her. She frowned but it was unseen by the Valeyard in the darkness. She playfully slapped at him until he pulled his cold hand away.

"Jerk," she hissed.

"I'm so sorry," the Valeyard said with another laugh.

"Liar."

"If you say so my love."

He pulled Rose down next to him and wrapped her in his arms. Her head rested on his chest, the steady rhythm of his heart beat in her ear. She still found herself listening for the heartbeat of a Time Lord. It irritated her slightly. She was with the Valeyard. He was a single-hearted Time Lord. He was unique. The Doctor was an ordinary Time Lord.

_The Valeyard is better._

Yes, the Valeyard was much better.

"Are you okay?" he asked after a few minutes of silence.

"Yes and no," Rose told him truthfully.

"You're nervous."

"Extremely nervous. It's going to hurt."

"Yes. But you are strong Rose. You can handle it. When it's done, we will be home. Just focus on that."

She sighed and began to trace her fingers on his sculpted chest. Focus on being home? That was easy. But her future after that was unknown. What would happen after they crossed the Void? Over the past years her focus had been to escape and hide from the Valeyard, then survive his tortures, and now it was getting home with him. What came after that? And what about the Doctor? Too much was unknown. She despised it.

"You're writing in Gallifreyan," the Valeyard murmured, surprise in his voice.

Rose stopped. "Am I?"

"Yes. You wrote 'return of the wolf.' What does that mean?"

"I have no idea. I didn't know I could write Gallifreyan."

"Hmmm."

They fell back into silence. Rose wanted to ask him a question but she had to be sure to go about it the right way.

"What's going to happen after we get home?" she asked finally.

"We'll travel through space and time of course."

"What happens if we run into the Doctor?"

It was a risky question but Rose had to know the Valeyard's plan.

"We kill him." His tone was matter of fact.

"What? We can't kill him!"

"I will not let him take you away from me. I know he will. I was him once. I have his memories. You are mine, not his."

"You don't know that. I don't want the Doctor dead. He did so much for me. You can't kill him."

"He is the enemy."

"He is not! I won't let you do it."

Rose realized her mistake too late. Suddenly the Valeyard was on top of her with a hand around her neck. He squeezed enough to have her gasping for air. Light flared around them as her defenses surged to protect her.

"Do not fight me."

His voice was a low growl.

_Do not fight him._

The voice's command was as loud in her mind as the Valeyard's to her ears.

Rose froze instantly. She couldn't have fought even if she wanted to. She tried but there was a force stopping her. The light stayed around her but her body did not move. It was getting harder to breathe. The scream that came from her only sounded in her head. It was as if she had lost the ability to speak.

The Valeyard's eyes had taken on the look of the Monster. Fear gripped her and panic moved in. She continued to fight the force holding her still. She didn't want to hurt again.

"You will do what I tell you to do. He is a threat. He is the enemy. You will not stand in my way. If we ever cross paths with the Doctor, he will die. No regeneration for him. Do you understand me?"

When Rose didn't respond, the Valeyard squeezed harder. She gasped as tears leaked from her eyes. He was the Monster right now. She had to give in. She had no choice. There was no stopping him when he was like this. Her only option was to give up, to give in.

"Yes," she managed to say. "I'm sorry. Please. I'm sorry."

The Valeyard kept his hand around her neck for a moment longer before rolling off of her. He got out of bed without a word and walked into the bathroom, slamming the door shut behind him. Shock tore through Rose's body and she began to shake and cry. Her cries were silent however. It would not do for the Valeyard to see or hear her cries. She had been stupid to say those things to him. What had she been thinking?

Rose lay there for a while, not moving, forcing herself to calm down. The tears eventually stopped and her breathing slowed. She could handle this. She could handle his anger. It was shocking to see the Monster again. She had thought that that part of him was gone, that she'd escaped it. Apparently not.

The bathroom door opened and the light spilled out and onto the bed. Her entire body tensed as she heard the Valeyard approaching. She kept her eyes closed even when he sat next to her and began to run his fingers through her hair.

"I'm sorry my love, my Rose. I lost my temper. I didn't mean to frighten you."

Rose opened her eyes and looked at the man above her. She couldn't speak. There were no words.

"Let me make it up to you," he said and leaned over to press a kiss to her temple, her cheek, her lips.

She knew what was coming next but she didn't want it. She wanted to be alone, away from him. But there was no choice. Not with the Valeyard. She'd learned her lesson more than once. It was better to obey. There was no point in fighting anymore. She always lost.

Her nightgown was gone along with her knickers. The Valeyard hovered above her, his hands on either side of her head. A cry escaped Rose when he thrust into her. It was not a gentle thrust. It was hard and deep and painful. But the Valeyard did not take the cry as one of pain. He heard one of pleasure instead. Each thrust was harder than the last. It hurt but Rose didn't fight. She forced herself to wrap her arms around him, hiding the pain from him. Eyes closed, she called for the TARDIS song. The song wrapped itself around Rose's mind and heart. There was peace in the song. She held on to that feeling desperately.

The Valeyard came with a chest deep groan. She felt the heat of his seed inside her and held back a wince. There was nothing to do. She could only pretend. His hand splayed across her naked chest, obvious possession in his actions.

"You are mine Rose." His voice was low and gravelly. It was the animal, the monster, inside him.

_You are his._

"I am yours."

"Do you forgive me?"

_Yes._

"Yes."

He leaned down and kissed her again.

When he pulled back he was smiling. "Good. I will be gone most of today. I have to get my final affairs in order and then say goodbye. Will you be okay by yourself?"

"Of course," Rose told him with a forced smile. The smile faded as soon as he left.

She dragged herself to the bathroom and into the shower. The water was hot and soothing. She stood under the pounding water and sighed. Pain plagued her. When she looked down she saw blood washing down the drain. It was no surprise. The tears that had fallen so freely earlier were no longer an option. There were no more tears left in her. Instead she slide down to the floor and sat on the tiles, trying to force herself to forget the past hour. Forgetting was the only way she could survive. She had to forget. She had to.

* * *

Everyone was in the large hall. Jane waited outside the doors, a clipboard in her hands. She smiled when the Valeyard approached.

"Is everything ready?" he asked.

"Yes sir. Is there anything else you need?"

"No. That will be all Jane. Thank you."

Jane entered the hall and the Valeyard caught a glimpse of the people inside. Everyone employed at Torchwood was gathered there. If someone was missing, it didn't matter. He knew how to cover his tracks. He knew how to clean up after himself.

He pulled out a small tablet and opened the program he had created. One press of the button and everyone was dead. It was so simple really. Everyone who knew of Torchwood had a tracking chip installed in their arms. That was a well known fact. The Valeyard also knew that some people were not happy with the idea of being traceable and had removed it themselves. That's why he had a backup plan. Everyone also had a chip installed on their spinal cord. No one knew about that. The doctor's who had installed the chips were now dead. One press of the button and the chip would send an electric shock so powerful that it would fry the brain of each and every person, no matter where they were in the world.

It was a safety precaution he had implemented when he'd taken over Torchwood. No one had directly questioned his decision for the tracking chips in the arms. He knew that there were a few grumblings behind his back but those were quickly quashed. Once everyone realized how serious he was, they gave in. Those who did not comply were silenced.

The buzz of the agents and personnel died as soon as the Valeyard walked in and approached the podium. He was all smiles. This was it. He looked over the people who had followed him so loyally. Many had been here during the time when Pete had been Director. It had been so easy to take over Torchwood with so many of its members on his side. Andrew, his right-hand man, sat in the front row smiling. The Valeyard knew Andrew was more than happy for this moment. Andrew's desire to be Director had become well-known. The Valeyard was thankful that Andrew had not moved against him as he had moved against Pete.

_Pete was sitting at his desk when the Valeyard walked in. It took him a moment to realize he had a visitor. Pete kept his annoyance at the interruption under wraps. His phone was blinking with unread voicemails, a stack of paper continued to grow in his inbox, his email inbox was on the verge of reaching capacity, and he had yet another possible alien disturbance in the south. He did not have time for interruptions._

_"Hello Doctor. What can I do for you?" Pete asked when he finished signing one of the many papers on his desk. He was surprised to see that the Doctor was not alone. Andrew stood slightly behind him along with many other agents. Some were new to Torchwood while others were part of the original crew._

_"Well, what you can do for me is really up to you. You can make my life easy and simply follow my orders. Or you can fight me and I will be forced to subdue you."_

_"What are you talking about?"_

_"Don't you check your voicemail? I'm sure you've missed an important call." The Doctor gestured towards the blinking phone. "Go ahead. And do put it on speaker."_

_Pete entered the password for his voicemail and changed it to the speaker mode. Rose's terrified voice filled the room._

_"Dad you have to run. The Doctor has gone insane. He shot me! He shot my in the fucking head! He's going to take over Torchwood. Take Mom and Tony and run. I'm sorry but I left without you. You're safer without me. I-I am so sorry. Please be safe. Keep everyone safe. Tell Mom and Tony that I love them. I love you. Goodbye."_

_The message was brief but it shocked Pete to the core. He had never her Rose sound like that. When Pete looked back up at the Doctor, he found the man smiling. This was not the Doctor's usual smile. It was cruel and calculating. The look in his eyes was not one he'd ever seen before. Pete knew that Rose was right. Something had happened and they were all in danger now. But it was too late for them. Too late for Jackie. For Tony. For him._

_"What have you done to my family, Doctor?" Pete demanded._

_"Nothing yet. Jackie and Tony are at home, completely oblivious to what is going on around them. I figured you would enjoy the task of informing them of your demotion. Poor Jackie, to lose Rose again. But don't worry Mr. Tyler, I will find her."_

_"You won't. Rose is a smart girl. You'll never find her."_

_"Oh Pete, you don't know Rose at all. I do. I know her weakness." The Doctor snapped his fingers and two agents walked in and behind Pete. They took his arms and dragged him from the office. "It's her family."_

_"You're a monster. You're not the Doctor," Pete spat at him._

_"You are right about one thing. There is no more Doctor. There is only the Valeyard. Take him home. The Tylers are officially under house arrest."_

_The Valeyard smiled as the agents dragged the former Director away._

Replacing Pete had been wonderful. He no longer had to hide anything and he could do whatever he wanted. Anyone who moved against him were eliminated. Now Andrew was going to have that happy power. Well, he thought he was.

"Thank you everyone for gathering here today. As you all are aware, I am leaving Torchwood. It has been a pleasure working with most of you. However, I will not miss this place. I want to thank you for your hard work and say goodbye. Enjoy your afterlife."

He pressed the button and the reaction was immediate. People fell to the floor convulsing. The Valeyard smiled as, one by one, they died. He pulled out his sonic screwdriver, checking for signs of life. There was none. Now no one could possibly leak information about Torchwood, aliens, or him and Rose. It was a huge weight off his shoulders. Now all he had to do was destroy the tower and burn everything within it. Most of the alien technology had been moved to the TARDIS for safekeeping. There would be nothing left except charred rubble.

With one last look around, the Valeyard left the hall to move on to the next step in the operation.


	23. Chapter 23

The console room was dim. The humming of the engine and the ship's song was soothing to Rose. The Valeyard had been gone for a while now and Rose found herself needing to get away from their room. She also wanted to be here when he returned. The TARDIS had told her to finish the process of the merge in the console room. Rose wasn't sure why the TARDIS had told her this but she trusted the ship.

Her gold wolf was on the floor next to the jump seat Rose currently occupied. The wolf was large, back to the size of a wild gray wolf. It seemed to know exactly what size would comfort Rose the most. The girl lay on her stomach on the jump seat with her arm hanging over the side; her hand resting on the wolf's back. The familiar warmth and feeling of safety ran through her body. This was what she had needed after the terrible morning with the Valeyard.

"Don't think about it," Rose scolded herself.

It was easier said than done. She was still sore. Her body hurt in places that she'd forgotten could hurt. The healing process Bad Wolf provided was well on its way to healing her various wounds but it took time. Unfortunately the process did not heal the emotional wounds. She had been so stupid to say those things to him. Hadn't she learned her lesson many times over? She knew the Valeyard. She knew his temper. In the end it was her fault that she'd ended up with his hand around her neck.

What had terrified her more than anything else was the fact that she'd been unable to move at the Valeyard's command. It was not the first time she'd suspected he had more control over her than he'd ever let on. This time had been clearer than ever before. It had only started after this latest regeneration.

"I want to know what the hell happened."

_You don't need to know. It is unimportant._

"I do need to know you annoying piece of shit."

The blank space in her memory had to be the Valeyard's doing. It had to be. There was no other explanation. A part of her was furious. Another part was simply didn't care. These two warring parts tended to cause a headache. Right now Rose did not want a headache. She wanted her mind to be clear. She wanted to be ready.

* * *

The system was wiped. Everything on Torchwood's server had been erased by a nice little virus. The computers were fried and the papers would soon be up in smoke. It was a shame that the Valeyard couldn't be around to actually see the damage. The explosives were set to detonate as soon as the TARDIS began to dematerialize. Still, he'd be able to see some of the damage from the ships monitors.

His earlier anger at Rose was gone. She had just needed a little reminder of where she stood in the world. She may be powerful but she was leashed. And he held the reins. It was satisfying to see that she was unable to fight his commands. There had been times when he'd wondered if his bindings had worked but this morning had been proof that he had been successful. Her complete and utter obedience was such a turn on. Even with the chips and being Director, the Torchwood agents would never have obeyed him as Rose had. It was a wonderful feeling to know that he had control over her.

Of course he didn't need to use it that much. Rose had become much more compliant after she stopped fighting him. Being with her over these past months was like a dream. He'd been wanting his life to return to what it had been before she'd run off. Now it was. Being Director had just been a necessity. He'd needed Torchwood's resources and he definitely needed to get Pete Tyler out of the way. Still, he couldn't deny that he'd enjoyed having the top job; so many underlings following his orders.

But that was over now. He'd had his fun with Torchwood and it was time to move on. He was not an idle being. Being stuck on this Earth in this universe had become more unbearable by the day. But now, now it was here. Rose would merge with Bad Wolf and they'd return to the Prime Universe where they belonged.

The Doctor would be easy to track down after that. It wouldn't be difficult for Rose to access the Time Vortex and search for their TARDIS's sister. Rose obviously didn't want the pathetic excuse of a Time Lord dead but the Valeyard would not take any chances. He knew the Doctor. He'd been the Doctor. He knew that if the Doctor ever found out that Rose had returned to the Prime universe then the bastard would track her down and take her. The Valeyard was not willing to risk that. Rose was his. Rose may not be able to die but the Valeyard would do whatever it took to keep her from the Doctor and his "good intentions." If he could not kill the Doctor, then he would certainly keep Rose hidden and safe. It would not do for the Doctor and Rose Tyler to be together again.

The Valeyard shook his head, frowning. Such dark thoughts! His only thought at the moment was to get to Rose and get to Bad Wolf. It was time.

* * *

There was a feeling in the air. The Doctor couldn't describe it, even to himself. He just knew that at any moment Rose would be here. His TARDIS seemed to sense it too. The old girl sporadically made odd wheezing noises and had shuddered once or twice. It made the Doctor nervous but when he'd checked everything out, it all seemed normal. It seemed his TARDIS was as anxious and impatient as he had grown to be.

He'd lost track of the amount of time he'd been hanging out in this little corner of space. He'd created new rooms to try and keep himself entertained. The swimming pool had been moved from the library to make room for his miniature bowling alley. When he got tired of that he'd simply remade the library. It now had a nice little galley and little nooks to get lost in. Of course it had the rolling ladder as well. You can't have a library without a rolling ladder.

The crack between worlds had not changed its size. The Doctor checked on it constantly. He wasn't just nervous about Rose's return. He was afraid that he would not be able to close the crack in time to prevent a catastrophic event that would affect both universes. The Time Lords had sealed off the paths between universes during the Time War to prevent the destruction of all the universes. Punching through the barrier without the proper tools now caused damage with side effects that could collapse the universes, destroying everything. He would not let that happen.

The unease he felt made him believe that the time of Rose's arrival was coming ever closer. It would be soon and he would be ready. He had to be.

* * *

"Are you ready?"

The Valeyard and Rose sat on the floor in the console room. They'd decided that being on the floor would be much better than a chair or anything that was off the ground. It prevented any injuries that might result in a fall from this process.

She wasn't ready. She was scared. She was afraid of the pain and what might possibly happen once the wall finally broke. There were too many thoughts racing through her mind for her to respond to the Valeyard. She could only manage a nod. She had to calm down. Rose forced herself to relax. At her back was her gold wolf. The Valeyard didn't seem to be able to see it. The warmth of her wolf and the loud TARDIS song in her mind helped ground her.

"Just do it."

He placed his hands on her head and pushed into her mind. It had gotten more difficult each time he'd worked on the containing wall. Her defenses, once so weak, were much stronger. Still, he could manage Rose's reflexive attempts to block him. He'd faced much harder opponents in his time. With ease, he side-stepped her blocks and entered the place in her mind where Bad Wolf rested. It was so bright, so beautiful, and so obviously powerful. That power was his.

The wall was basically gone. It was thin and practically invisible. It used to be strong and fortified but now the power was pouring out of it. A few more hits would break it down completely. He hadn't realized how close they were to finishing this process. Excitement bubbled within him. Here it was at last. They were nearing the finish line.

The first hit caused a lot of damage. He could hear Rose's screams and had to grasp her head between his hands very tightly. She screamed and struggled but the Valeyard forced her to remain still. He had to get through this. Another hit. Rose's cries tore at his eardrums but he was close. Two more and it would be done. It would be gone.

He pounded the wall one more time. Suddenly the Valeyard found himself thrown from Rose's mind and across the console room. He slammed into the TARDIS's door with a painful thud. His head spun and he saw pretty lights for a moment before everything cleared. When he looked up he only saw gold light. Rose had vanished in the light's brilliance. That's when he noticed the TARDIS console had opened and the heart of the TARDIS was pouring into the room. It was almost impossible to watch as the brilliance washed over him.

As the light began to dim, the Valeyard thought he saw the shadow of a wolf before it disappeared and Rose's form became visible once more. The console closed and the light dimmed. Rose hovered in the air before him. Her normal aura was gone; replaced by white streaked with gold. When she opened her eyes they glowed. The Valeyard looked at her in awe. She was beautiful.

"Rose?" he said cautiously.

She didn't respond. She remained airborne for a moment longer before crumpling to the floor. The Valeyard ran to help her up but when he touched her, her skin burned him. He hissed in pain and saw the red welts appear on his hands. He didn't want to leave her on the floor but there was no way he could pick her up either.

The glow around her began to fade slowly. The Valeyard sat in the jump seat for hours watching Rose. She would wake. She had to.

* * *

The Doctor sat up with a gasp. A white-hot pain stabbed his chest and his forehead. He pulled at his shirt and saw Rose's hand print blazing white. The same thing had to be happening to his head. He had thought the marks were gone but the pain they were causing made it quite obvious that he had been wrong. Stumbling through the pain, the Doctor made it to the bathroom mirror. Just as he'd suspected, the Rose's small fingerprint was as white as the hand.

There was nothing to do but wait for the pain to stop. He had no way of removing the marks. This was out of his area of expertise. Sliding to the floor, the Doctor waited for it to be over. He could deal with pain. He'd dealt with it so many times in his multiple lifetimes. This was nothing. This pain was endurable. He just had to keep telling himself that.

The pain faded slowly. The Doctor sat on the floor for hours waiting for it to stop. There was only one thing that could possibly explain why the marks had appeared.

"Bad Wolf has been freed."

* * *

It was a beautiful day on Gallifrey. Rose relaxed on the grass feeling at peace. Some part of her knew that she wouldn't be returning to this dream place for a long time and she wanted to enjoy her remaining time here. It was nice here. There were no plans, no frustrations, no worries, no fear. There was only the simple pleasure of being in a place of great beauty. If she was honest with herself, she never wanted to wake up from this dream. She could live in this world for the rest of her life. She didn't even mind if she would be alone.

The tell tale crunch of grass told Rose that someone had arrived. She knew who it was so she didn't bother looking. The man sat down beside her and remained quiet for a moment. He seemed to be as lost in thought as she had been prior to his arrival. Or maybe it was simply being on his home planet again. Rose knew he missed it terribly. She could understand that. The idea of this place being destroyed hurt her heart.

"So, the Valeyard managed to free Bad Wolf," the Doctor said finally. His tone was neutral, his voice calm.

"Yup."

"You're coming home now."

"Yes."

"How are you going to do it?"

"I have a plan," Rose said simply.

"Of course you do." There was a hint of a smile in his voice. Rose turned her head towards him and saw him staring straight ahead.

"You're at the crack right now, aren't you?"

"You know me well Rose Tyler."

"The Valeyard plans to kill you." The words came out of their own accord. She hadn't meant to tell him but she found that she did not regret him knowing.

"I figured as much. He is me after all."

"You're not safe from me either Doctor."

He finally turned to look at Rose. Great sadness and remorse looked at her from behind his eyes. He felt guilty. As he should. He'd caused her great damage. He should have known what would happen after he left the Valeyard with her. If he hadn't been so selfish, Rose could have continued to travel with him again.

"I can only say I'm sorry Rose. I am so very sorry. I never meant to hurt you."

"It's funny though. You never mean any harm and yet so many people manage to get hurt when they're near you."

The Doctor hung his head. "I know," he replied in a whisper.

"Go away. I want to be alone." He stood and began to walk away. "See you soon Doctor."

"I'll be waiting Rose Tyler."

In a flash of light he was gone and Rose was alone and at peace again. This was her time and she was going to enjoy it while it lasted.


	24. Chapter 24

It was a struggle to return to consciousness. Rose had tried to stay in her dream world for as long as possible. When Gallifrey began to fade around her, Rose fought to remain. She didn't want to return. She didn't want to go back to pain or fatigue or anything that required thought.

Her body didn't feel much different. Rose began to check out how everything was working. She moved her fingers and toes and found that there was no pain. When she looked inside to the part of her that contained Bad Wolf, all she saw was brilliant gold light. The Valeyard had done it. She now had complete access to the Time Vortex. She _was_ Bad Wolf. She was Rose and she was Bad Wolf. She couldn't help but smile. All that pain she'd been through to break down that wall had been worth it.

The gold wolf appeared on Rose's chest and another smile spread across her face. She'd been afraid that the wolf would disappear after the wall broke. Her wolf had been with her through so much. Rose needed her wolf.

The Valeyard was sleeping on the jump seat. Rose turned her head just enough to see his arm dangling over the side. His hand was hanging near her head. He looked so peaceful sleeping on the jump seat. His hair was rumpled in just the right way. He was sexy. He was the Doctor. Or he used to be. Memories of their past ran through Rose's mind but she forced herself to ignore it. She was with the Valeyard now. He was her husband. Her love.

Rose wasn't expecting him to roll off the seat and right next to her. She let out a small shriek and rolled away. A few choice swear words escaped the Valeyard as he tried to right himself.

"Fuck."

"Where you dreaming?" Rose asked with a smile.

"Actually, I wasn't," the Valeyard started to say then turned to look at Rose, his eyes wide. "You're awake! Thank the universe you are awake! How do you feel? Do you hurt? Do you need me to do anything?"

"Valeyard, please, calm down. I'm fine. In truth, I feel great."

Not taking her word for it, the Valeyard stood and pulled her to her feet. He proceeded to inspect her in greater detail. He checked her eyes and her reflexes. After he put her through her paces, Rose pleading for him to stop the entire time, he finally said she was fit.

"I wasn't sure you were going to wake up. I was so worried." The Valeyard pulled her into a tight embrace. He inhaled her sweet scent and the tightness that had been building in his chest eased.

"I can't die, remember?" Rose reminded him.

"It doesn't mean I can't worry about you. I love you. I don't want to lose you. I won't lose you. You are mine."

He pulled her tighter, as if holding her would keep her safe; keep her away from anyone who would take her away. The Valeyard had told Rose that he would kill the Doctor and he hadn't been lying. But he also wanted to test out this new power Rose had and how much control he had over it. Maybe, once they returned to the Prime universe, they could try out some of Rose's powers on other planets. He wanted to make sure everything was working properly before he destroyed the Doctor. He needed Rose at her best.

Rose pulled away, something was bothering her. There was a feeling in the back of her mind. She turned in a complete circle, trying to put her finger on the problem. That's when she noticed the silence around her. The building was silent. There were no timelines except hers and the Valeyard's inside the building. She searched and saw it.

"You killed them. You killed them all," Rose said in horror. She took a few steps away from him.

The Valeyard's face went blank. The blank look was a danger sign. He would turn into the Monster if she wasn't careful. At the moment, Rose didn't give a damn. He murdered everyone within Torchwood.

"I had to," the Valeyard said blandly. "They were a danger to us, to you. I did not want to leave with the possibility of someone within Torchwood finding a way to the Prime universe and destroying everything. I will not have it. It was for the greater good Rose."

"They didn't deserve to die! Their memories could have been wiped. I could have done something!"

"Calm down my love, you're glowing."

"I don't give a damn if I'm glowing! You murdered hundreds of people."

"Calm down."

The command was evident. Rose felt her whole body seize up. The voice screamed within her head causing Rose to clutch her head and fall to her knees. How could she have so much power but still be at the mercy of the Valeyard? What was it that made her instantly obey him? Did he have some sort of power over her or was she just weak? Or did she want to obey him because she loved him? What was it?

"Listen to me Rose. Those people did not matter. They were nothing to us. This universe does not matter. If you are worried about aliens, then UNIT will handle it. Do you understand?"

_Yes._

"Yes."

He stooped down and brought Rose back to her feet. Rose shook slightly but forced herself to take a breath. She just needed to be quiet and let him calm down. He would get better. He always got better when she didn't fight with him. It was her fault. She shouldn't have yelled at him. She had been stupid really. She had known better. How many times did she have to mess up before she finally learned?

"I'm sorry love. I didn't mean to be like that. I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Torchwood. I didn't want to worry you. You have so much on your mind already. I just want to take care of you."

A tear slid down Rose's cheek only to be quickly wiped away by the Valeyard's thumb. He pressed his lips gently to her forehead, her eyes, her cheek, her lips. Rose forgot about the dead within the building, the voice, the fight, everything. She wrapped her arms around the Valeyard's neck and deepened the kiss. She needed forget for a moment. Their future was unknown. Too much could happen and Rose needed this moment to simply be.

"Are you feeling up to this? You're not too tired?"

Rose kissed him again in answer.

* * *

The Doctor stood in the threshold of the TARDIS and space. After waking from his dream, he'd been unable to settle to anything. It had been a long wait. Time didn't mean much for a Time Lord but he'd always been an impatient one. So he didn't go crazy, the Doctor hadn't kept track of the number of days he'd been sitting in the little corner of the universe. It wasn't like he hadn't had to do waiting in the past but this regeneration was more impatient than some of his previous ones.

The stars around him shone brightly. Planets twinkled in the distance. There was the temptation to take a quick dash to another world but it wasn't the best idea at the moment. Rose had warned him she was coming and he needed to be ready.

She'd told him the Valeyard wanted him dead. This did not surprise him in the slightest. The Valeyard was the darker side of himself. In truth, the Doctor wanted to rip the Valeyard limb from limb. He wanted to take back his actions. He wanted to save Rose the pain she had endured.

He'd had the best intentions. He'd thought he was giving Rose the life he wouldn't have been able to give her. Well, he'd done just that hadn't he? He'd given her a life of torment and pain. Rose had every right to hate him. He hated himself.

But there was no taking it back. He couldn't cross his timeline. He couldn't do anything to fix the past. He could do nothing but wait to see what Rose and the Valeyard had in store for him.

* * *

"Are you ready?" the Valeyard asked.

Rose nodded and took her place at the door of the TARDIS. The Valeyard moved to the console and began inputting the coordinates she had given him. This was it. This was the moment.

"I'm going to create a bubble of Time Vortex energy around the TARDIS. That way she'll still be connected to the Vortex through me. That's the only thing that I think will work. I won't be able to help you though."

"Rose dear, I know how to fly a TARDIS."

She sighed. Of course he did. But this TARDIS was a part of her. She was terrified that they would fail and the TARDIS would die within the Void. She couldn't let that happen. She couldn't lose her ship after all they had done to save her. She would not let that happen.

"I know. I'm just nervous."

Nervous was the understatement of the year.

"I understand. You focus on keeping us alive and I'll focus on driving."

"And closing the crack behind us," she reminded him.

"And closing the crack," he repeated with a nod.

Rose took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She took a seat and placed her hands on the door. After consulting the TARDIS, they'd decided that this plan was the best option. Rose pictured the TARDIS as a whole and opened herself to the Vortex. It flowed out of her, through her hands, and surrounded the TARDIS. She felt a rumble but ignored it. In her mind she saw a bubble build around the ship. At first the TARDIS was shaped like a non-camouflaged ship but her mind automatically shifted to a blue wooden box without her realizing it. There was a ripple beneath her hands but she ignored that as well.

Agony consumed her as soon as they entered the Void, the space between spaces. The Doctor had told her nothing lived here. He was wrong. There were creatures here and they immediately began to attack her shield. She cried out. Maybe she cried out. She was lost. Claws seemed to rake through her body as the creatures descended on the TARDIS. The Vortex energy that flowed through her body was gone. All of it surrounded the TARDIS. There was a hole in her soul. The pain was unbearable. Her connection to the Vortex had vanished and now she was dying. Could she die? The emptiness she felt was worse than anything else she had gone through. Bad Wolf was gone. She was gone. There was nothing. She was nothing.

She knew as soon as they escaped the Void entered the Prime universe. Time Vortex energy surged through her body, filling the hole the Void had created. The shield around the TARDIS grew brighter. She directed it into the heart of the TARDIS, fueling the ship, connecting them to this universe, this Vortex.

Her hands fell away from the doors and she lay down on the hard floor. Vortex energy continued to flow into her. It reached out and filled every cell, every organ, every part of her mind. The Time Vortex in this universe was so much stronger than it had been in the parallel universe. The power was unbelievable and she reveled in it.

The flow slowed to a trickle and then stopped all together. Rose took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She wiggled her fingers and her toes. Everything seemed to be working alright. She cast out her senses and instantly found the Doctor's TARDIS floating not far away. It was shielded and hidden from sight but his TARDIS couldn't hide from her. She'd looked into the heart of his ship. Bad Wolf had been born from his TARDIS. They would be connected until the end of time itself.

When she looked to her TARDIS, she saw it had taken on the shape of a Police Call Box, just like the Doctor's. It wasn't a surprise really. When she heard "TARDIS," she immediately pictured the blue box. Her TARDIS had little gold streaks in the wood, hints of her connection to her ship. Rose smiled and pulled back into herself.

"Rose?" the Valeyard said as he hovered over her.

Rose opened her eyes and smiled up at the Valeyard.

"We did it," she told her. Her voice was hoarse. Apparently she had screamed during their crossing.

"You did it. We wouldn't have made it without you."

"I never, ever, want to do that again."

"Nor do I," the Valeyard agreed.

Rose sat up with the Valeyard's assistance. She felt stronger than she'd ever felt before but she still wanted to be careful. Another change had gone through her and she was unsure of what she could now do. It was better to be cautious.

"How are you? How is the TARDIS. The readings look great but your connection will be able to tell you more."

"We're both doing well. I think it would be best to stay here for a little bit. I want the TARDIS to get acclimated to this universe before we go hurdling through time."

She didn't mention the Doctor was another reason why she wanted to hang around.

* * *

Alarms bells blared through the TARDIS suddenly. The Doctor dropped the book he'd been reading and ran to the console room. It was time.

He turned on the monitor and saw a brilliant gold light appear. The TARDIS shook as the energy pouring from Rose's TARDIS touched them.

"Hold on girl," the Doctor said, patting the console.

As soon as Rose's TARDIS made it through the crack, he flipped a few switches and closed the crack before it could widen any further. A wave of energy slammed into his ship, knocking him off his feet. When he looked at the monitor again he saw the light fading. Floating not far away was Rose and her TARDIS.

"Well," the Doctor said as he collapsed into the jump seat, "it's going to be interesting to see what happens next."


	25. Chapter 25

The Valeyard checked the monitor on the time console, then walked to the TARDIS doors and opened them. There was no sign of the Doctor but he had a feeling that the other Time Lord was close. He wouldn't be surprised if the Doctor suddenly appeared. The amount of power Rose had used to bring them through the Void could have attracted a lot of attention. It was a good idea to keep a look out for potential enemies, especially the Doctor.

He wanted to check on Rose to see how she was doing. She seemed alright but the power of the Time Vortex was dangerous thing. She was fully connected to the Prime Universe now, as was their TARDIS. He was tired of waiting here. He wanted to move on and start their journey. Waiting here was starting to drive him crazy.

He also wanted to land somewhere safe. It was time to start testing Rose's power and his power over her. If she could be controlled, he could subjugate thousands of people, take over entire planets. Rose had completely destroyed an entire army of Daleks and the Emperor. That had been child's play. Now that Bad Wolf was completely under control, he could use that power to do whatever he wanted. Of course, Rose wouldn't be too happy about it but he would convince her that it was a good idea. She would see reason. She would agree with him. He would force her to agree with him if it came to that.

It was time to see her. His body was full of tension as ideas for the future raced through his mind. She had said over breakfast that she was planning to take a dip in the pool. An image of her skinny dipping popped into his head, causing a different kind of tension to fill him. Yes, he definitely needed a release and Rose was the perfect outlet for him.

* * *

The pool was large and beautiful. It had a diving board and water slide. Rose had used both, allowing herself a few moments of fun. Her inner child had come out and enjoyed the play. The slide was tall and had two full circles before it ended in the water. She'd gone down many different ways. She had even tried going down on her knees. It was a stupid idea and her knees and hands had the bruises to prove it.

This pool was much fancier than the Doctor's pool had been. Of course, his pool had been in the library. She'd never understood that. Paper and water do _not_ go together. The Doctor loved books and the fact that he would risk it with a pool had baffled her. In all her time with the Doctor, they never once went swimming. It made her wonder if it was just there for show.

Rose was floating on her back with her eyes closed when the TARDIS sent her a message, informing her that the Valeyard was on his way. She had to hold in a sigh. She'd wanted to be _alone_. The only reason she'd told him what she was going to be doing was so he wouldn't come searching for her. Usually, if he couldn't find her quickly, he was angry when he did discover her location. An angry Valeyard was never good.

Taking a deep breath, Rose plunged under the water and swam to the deepest part. She held her breath for as long as she could, keeping her eyes open in the clear water, waiting for him to join her. When her lungs were screaming for air, she finally gave up and swam to the surface. The Valeyard was sitting on the edge of the diving board, looking down at her with a smile on his face.

"How long can you hold your breath for?" he asked curiously.

"No idea," she replied shortly. She dove back under and swam to the opposite end of the pool. When she resurfaced, the Valeyard hadn't moved. There was still a smile on his face. It was a dangerous smile. A smile that told her exactly what he wanted and what she didn't want to give at the moment.

"Do you like the pool?"

"Very much. I like the slide and diving board. They're nice little additions."

The Valeyard stood and dived into the water. His lithe form cut through the water like a bullet and moments later he was in front of her, water dripping from his dark hair, his eyes raking over her body. It was obvious he did not like that she was wearing a bathing suit. It made Rose want to keep it on all the more.

"I'm glad you like it." He pulled her into his arms and pressed a light kiss to her lips. Rose's body automatically reacted to his touch and she wrapped her arms around his neck, kissing him back. One part of her mind screamed that she didn't want this. But another part wanted to the physical touch of the man she loved. Because she loved him. She did love him. Right?

_Right._

Her top was off with the tug of a string, her bottoms went soon after. The Valeyard hadn't even bothered with putting on swim trunks. Rose wrapped her legs around his waist as he deepened the kiss. Her fingers wove their way through his hair. When his lips began to move down her neck to her breasts, her fingers tightened. Rose felt the smile when he kissed her again. Goosebumps erupted across Rose's exposed skin. She shivered from cold but also from desire. Curse her body and it's needs.

The Valeyard gave Rose a questioning look when she shivered. She gave a small, shy smile. "It's cold. And we've already discovered that pool sex sucks. Twice. Can we do this somewhere else?"

"Yes we did discover that, didn't we?" He pulled her closer to him and kissed her gently. It was a gentle kiss that promised more to come. "Well, let's go find a way to warm you up."

Rose uncrossed her legs to get out but the Valeyard redoubled his grip on her. She let out a little squeal and held on as he climbed up the steps and to the lounge chairs. The waterproof material wasn't the most comfortable against her skin but she didn't complain. She couldn't complain because his mouth was back on hers. The little restraint he'd had in the water was gone now. One hand went to her breast, pinching the nipple, startling a gasp from her. He moved down her body then settled between her legs.

"Valeyard," she moaned when his fingers entered her and his tongue flicked her clit. Her body arched as pleasure began to build between her legs. Just before she reached the breaking point, the Valeyard pulled away. She wanted to growl in frustration.

Some of her growl must have come out because the Valeyard smiled. "Patience, love." He hovered above her, smiling wickedly at the need her body so openly communicated. Then he sank into her and the world disappeared. He wasn't slow anymore. There was no more patience. He was hard and fast. Heat built up between them as they settled into a rhythm. Rose met him stroke for stroke. She lost herself to the feeling of his body and hers. No thinking. No worrying. All was gone. She was in this moment.

The Valeyard grabbed her hair suddenly and pulled as he came inside her. Rose followed him shortly after. So he didn't crush her, the Valeyard rolled them over and Rose lay on top of him, exhausted but pleased. His heartbeat steadied under her ear and Rose let herself relax. She didn't want to rejoin the world yet. The Valeyard didn't seem to want to either. They laid there in companionable silence, simply enjoying the moment.

* * *

"Valeyard?" Rose said as they stepped out of their quick shower.

"Hmmm?" His tone was distracted and Rose knew why. He was staring at her as she dried her hair with the towel. She wanted his mind focused on the present so she wrapped the towel around her body.

"I want to go to London."

That snapped him back to reality.

"Why?"

"It's been so long since I've seen home, I just...I need to go."

"You can't visit your mother, Rose. You can't cross your own timeline."

"I wasn't planning on it," Rose lied. "If she's home I won't go inside but if we go during the day, she might be out. Please Valeyard, I need this."

The Valeyard was silent for a long time, obviously thinking over her request. There was something calculating in his eyes as he looked at her but didn't see her. She wanted to know what he was thinking. What was he planning? Rose remained silent, waiting, desperately waiting.

"Okay. We'll go to London. It _is_ where we met after all. It should be our first stop"

Rose beamed. "I agree. I feel like it's where we need to go."

The Valeyard pressed a kissed to her forehead and left to get dressed. Rose stayed in the bathroom for a few minutes. She wanted to dance. She wanted to laugh. They had left the parallel world behind and now she was going home. Despite what she said to the Valeyard, she hoped she ran into her mother. It would be wonderful to see her again. Rose could practically feel her mother's arms around her. To be held again would be wonderful. She would make sure it was a time when her past self wasn't around when they set off. The TARDIS would take care of that.

* * *

The Valeyard put in the coordinates for the Powell Estate. He was a little reluctant to go so close to Rose's old home but he had agreed to her request. During his moments of thought, a plan had formed in his mind. He would let Rose go to her flat while he did what he needed to do. It was time to start testing Rose's powers and where better to start than London?

Rose came into the console room wearing jeans, a plain black v-neck shirt with a black leather jacket. He liked the black on black look on her. It complemented his choice of wardrobe well. Rose had done away with most of her brightly colored clothes. She rarely wore pink. He wasn't sure what had caused the change but he certainly enjoyed some of her new outfits, especially the form-fitting ones.

"Ready?" Rose asked with a sparkle of excitement in her eyes.

The Valeyard smiled at her happiness. He liked a happy Rose. "Ready."

He flipped the switch and the TARDIS began to move. Rose placed her hand on the console and closed her eyes for a moment. The Valeyard watched her carefully. What was she doing? Was she manipulating the TARDIS in some way? He wouldn't be surprised that she could do that. But the idea of her doing it without his permission enraged him.

"What are you doing?" he asked, barely able to keep any sound of anger from his tone.

Rose opened her eyes and smiled. "I'm listening to the TARDIS and feeling how she feels during flight. I can't even put the sensations into words. I wish you could feel it."

The Valeyard took a deep breath and let it out slowly. She wasn't doing anything to take control. He was still in control. The anger disappeared and he was able to focus on driving once more.

* * *

The Doctor was in the kitchen when he felt a jerk and heard the TARDIS engines begin. He dropped the teacup and ran to the console room. The TARDIS had stopped moving by the time he'd arrived. Why had she moved?

He looked at the coordinates and realized he was in Earth's orbit. Looking at the date, he saw he was right around the time Torchwood had started with their idiotic scheme of letting the "ghosts" come through the Void. It took a monumental effort not to go there now and change the events of that fateful day. But he couldn't.

Rose had to be the reason the TARDIS had moved. Was she powerful enough to control his TARDIS? Or did she simply send a telepathic message? That meant she'd known he had been there at the crack and she hadn't told the Valeyard. Why?

It was a good sign. It had to be a good sign. She could have attacked him right away but she didn't. He knew Rose planned on revenge but she didn't immediately put that plan into action. What did this mean?

He wanted to land but when he tried, the TARDIS wouldn't move. He frowned at the console. This _had_ to be Rose's doing. How much power did she have? How could she possibly influence his TARDIS like this? A trickle of fear slid down his spine. This was not a good sign after all.

* * *

Rose had lied to the Valeyard. He'd believed the lie too, for which she was grateful. She'd guided her TARDIS to the time in London and she'd sent a message to the Doctor's TARDIS. His TARDIS locked onto her coordinates and time period and together they had flown through the Vortex. The Valeyard had no idea that the Doctor was orbiting the planet at that very moment.

A pang went through Rose's heart as she climbed the familiar stairs to her old home. The door was locked and she didn't have a key. She didn't need one. She pressed her hand to the lock and it clicked open. Taking a deep breath, Rose stepped inside.

Jackie wasn't home but Rose knew that her mother would be back at any moment. This was her chance to look around and then decide if she should stay. Would it hurt more to see her mother and then have to say goodbye? Rose never got to say goodbye to her family. A car accident had seen to that. Her goodbye had been a message on an answering machine. Would she find closure with this Jackie? This Jackie didn't know the events of the future. This Jackie didn't know about Torchwood and Pete and the parallel universe she would come to call home. This Jackie only knew a Rose who traveled with a man called the Doctor. Was closure even possible at this point?

Rose walked through her old flay. Everything was exactly as she remembered it. She could practically smell the tea her mother made every night before bed. Rose ran her hand along the pictures in the hall. She wanted to take one but it would be missed. Tears stung her eyes as she continued to wander. She was unable to enter her old bedroom. She simply stood at the threshold and looked back in time to a life she could barely remember. Before she knew it, she was on Jackie's bed, crying, trying to breathe in the scent of her mother through her sobs.

In the background, Rose heard the front door open and close. She did nothing to quiet herself. When Jackie walked in and saw Rose on her bed sobbing, she dropped everything and pulled her daughter into her arms.

"Rose! What is it? Rose, please tell me. Please. What did the Doctor do to you? I'll kill that man. I swear I will."

Jackie's words were like a salve on an open wound. Rose managed at laugh.

"I just miss you, Mum. I've been missing you for a very long time."

Jackie pulled away and frowned at Rose. "Why didn't you come home sooner then? How long has it been for you?"

"Not that long," Rose lied easily. "I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been pretty emotional lately."

"You're not pregnant, are you?!"

"What?! No! Of course not. The Doctor and I...it's not like that." Not yet anyway.

Jackie gave Rose a look that Rose was unable to interpret. "Come, I'll make you a cup of tea and we'll talk."

* * *

The address the TARDIS had provided him was the right one. He knew exactly who the man was when he answered the Valeyard's knock. The confused look on the man face amused him. This was no man. He was a boy pretending to be a man. What a fool. What had Rose seen in him? Well, she wouldn't see anything in him any longer.

"Hello Jimmy. Let's go for a walk."

* * *

They talked for a long time. Rose didn't explain what was truly going on in her life. She couldn't do that to Jackie. But she did talk a lot about the past and her childhood. She let her mother gossip about the people in her life while Rose listened with a smile on her face. The tea was perfect. The talk was perfect. This moment was perfect. She wanted to freeze this time. She wanted this moment to go on for eternity. Instead, Rose savored every moment and committed it all to memory. She memorized her mother's face, the way the tea tasted, the feeling of the sofa beneath them, anything to keep this moment alive long after it ended.

Jackie took Rose's empty cup to the kitchen and returned to find Rose standing in the hallway by the door. A sad expression crossed her face. Rose felt a twinge in her gut for what she was about to do. But she had to do it. She couldn't risk anything disturbing her timeline. It was dangerous to be here so close to when she and the Doctor had encountered Torchwood. If Jackie mentioned this visit to Rose's past self, things could get complicated. Even thinking about it gave her a headache.

"You're leaving," Jackie said sadly. It wasn't a question. It was a statement. Rose knew that look and it hurt all the more to see it at this moment.

"I have to. I just needed to see you one last time. I needed to say goodbye."

"Goodbye? One last time? What are you going on about?" Jackie sounded panicked. Rose had to take care of this now.

"I love you, Mum."

Rose put her fingers to her mother's temples and entered her mind. Instead of erasing the memory completely, she moved it deep into Jackie's unconscious. She should erase it but it wasn't in her. Keeping it in the back of Jackie's mind was good enough. Rose created a new memory for the time lost during their conversation. Jackie had come home, made herself a cup of tea, and fell asleep on the sofa. She nudged Jackie's mind to the couch for a nap and pulled her hands away. She watched as Jackie's glazed eyes looked away and she headed towards the sofa for the suggested nap.

With a sad sigh, Rose turned her back on her old life and stepped back into her new one.


	26. Chapter 26

It was a hard walk back to the TARDIS. There wasn't much time for her to gather her wits before she was at the TARDIS doors. Rose took a few deep breaths before finally going inside. She was relieved to see that the Valeyard wasn't there waiting for her. She needed alone time before she could deal with his temperament. She wasn't ready to walk on eggshells. His attitude this morning was proof that he was in a touchy mood. She'd heard the anger in his question earlier. If he suspected the breadth of her power, well, Rose didn't like to think about it.

She circled the time console, brushing her fingers along the knobs, levers, and buttons. The hum of life that was the TARDIS wove its way into her soul, calling to her. She sat on the jump seat with her eyes closed, opening her mind completely to the TARDIS. She needed the connection with her ship. She needed that warmth to wrap around her so she could feel calm.

The TARDIS's song that was always in the back of her mind grew louder and Rose felt the tears fall freely.

'What is wrong, my Wolf?' The TARDIS's voice was a soothing sound in her mind.

"I miss my mum," Rose whispered.

'She is always with you. This Jackie Tyler is your past. She is history. Your mother passed on. You sent her into the Time Vortex. She is part of time itself, as are you.'

"I never really thought about it like that. It's just so hard. I never got to say a real goodbye."

'Try not to be sad little Wolf.'

Rose scowled. "Who are you calling little?"

The TARDIS hummed in amusement. It was an odd sensation but Rose gained comfort from it as well. Who knew a TARDIS could laugh?

"I'm going to practice in the Dark Room." Rose looked down at her hands. They shimmered slightly, the aura clearly visible. Hiding it from her mother had been difficult. "I need to work on hiding this glitter. I'll never be able to leave here and not cause a riot."

'Good luck.'

Rose brushed her fingers over the console once more before heading towards to room of complete darkness. There she could focus on her power with nothing to distract. When she'd first thought of the room, she'd only wanted a place to see the beauty of the gold flickering in the dark. Now it was the perfect place to practice.

The dark still caused anxiety. It was too much of a reminder of her cell in Torchwood. The Valeyard had purposely left her in the dark to torture her. Once she had gained the ability to summon light, it had been less torturous. Still, Rose did not like any reminders of her time in Torchwood.

Taking a deep breath, she stepped into the room and closed the door behind her. It took a moment to steady her breathing. She focused on not summoning the light and closed her eyes. She took a few steps before jumping and allowing herself to float in the air. The sensation of weightlessness and the song of the TARDIS calmed her nerves and she was finally able to open her eyes.

It wasn't completely black. There was a shimmer hovering over her skin. Her aura. She knew that when she actively used her power, her aura grew brighter. This was just a shimmer that didn't like to go away even when she was calm.

With a small sigh, Rose touched back to the ground. She needed to focus on not using her power. She sat with her legs crossed and focused on her hands.

"If I can pull this into myself, maybe it will disappear."

Rose reached for her power and tried to compress it or simply reign it in. That's when she realized that the aura was larger than it appeared. It extended past the shimmer of light into the space around her. Pulling everything in would be impossible.

Suddenly light flooded the room. Rose threw up her arms and closed her eyes at the sudden intrusion.

"Fuck!"

"What? What happened? Are you okay?" the Valeyard asked. He stood in the doorway not moving.

"I'm fine. You just scared me. And the sudden light hurt my eyes. But I'm okay now," Rose told him, her heart still pounding a little from the shock.

"I didn't mean to scare you. It was rather rude just walking in like that. It didn't cross my mind that you might be doing something."

Rose walked to him and smiled as she placed her hand to his cheek. "Maybe knocking would be better. I don't want to lose control and hurt you."

"That sounds like a good idea." The Valeyard hugged, pulling her tightly into his arms. "I like hearing that you're concerned about my safety."

"Did you need something?"

"Yes, follow me. I would like to show you something."

"What is it?" she asked curiously.

"It's a surprise. I don't want to spoil it for you. Just follow me."

The Valeyard took Rose's hand and pulled her out of the room. As they walked, Rose tried to get a feel for the Valeyard's mood. He seemed different somehow but she couldn't put a finger on what it was. She kept her hand in his and let him lead her down the winding halls of the TARDIS. He didn't speak and Rose found that discomforting. His silence seemed left her feel uneasy.

They arrived at an average looking door and the Valeyard opened it for her. He held out his arm, inviting her to enter before him. Her knees almost hit the floor when she saw who was in the ominous room. Two people were chained to the wall in front of her. Before she had a chance to take everything in, the door shut behind her. She turned to run but a voice stopped her.

"Don't move."

It was the Valeyard. The command in his voice was loud in her mind. She couldn't fight it. Her feet seemed glued to the floor but fortunately she could still move the rest of her body. The Valeyard walked into her line of sight and over to the two captives. She looked to the man who had so much control over her. Her courage drained away and the need to escape overwhelmed her. The Monster was back. Why was it back? She hadn't done anything. She'd been good! She'd listened to everything he'd said. She'd done everything he'd asked. She hadn't fought him. Why was the Monster back?!

"V-Valeyard? What's going on?"

"This is your surprise, Rose. As you can see, we have guests. I'm sure you remember Jimmy Stone?" Rose didn't respond. "Answer me!"

"Yes! Yes, I remember him."

Jimmy had two cuffs around his wrists and two cuffs around his ankles. The cuffs were linked to chains that were secured to a bolt in the wall. The chains were so short, he could hardly take a step forward. Fear practically poured off him in waves. The unknown woman was a stranger. She only had chains around her ankles and she was huddled in a ball on the floor. The woman's shoulders shook from obvious sobs.

"This piece of filth is Hannah," the Valeyard said as he grabbed the woman's dirty hair and lifted her head so Rose could see her face. "She's some homeless woman I ran into while escorting Jimmy back to the TARDIS. I thought she would come in handy for another experiment I have in mind."

"What are they doing here? What experiment?" She tried to keep the fear from her voice but it shook despite her efforts. She struggled against the invisible restraints around her feet but only managed to exhaust herself.

"Well, I decided it's time to put your power to the test. Kind of like what you were doing earlier. Jimmy is Test Subject #1. Hannah is Test Subject #2. I wanted to start off small. We'll continue to test your abilities but I think two worthless pieces of trash will do for now."

What had she done? This was her fault. She'd brought them to London. Now Jimmy was going to die and Hannah was going to die. Two innocent humans were going to be tortured because she had been selfish and had wanted to see Jackie. There was nothing she could do about it either. The Valeyard seemed to have complete control over her. She couldn't fight him.

"Please, Valeyard, please don't make me hurt them," Rose begged, tears pricking the back of her eyes.

The Valeyard walked to her and gently stroked her cheek. Rose barely managed to withhold her cringe. Cringing would be bad. The Monster would not respond well to that. She had to calm him down. She had to save Jimmy and Hannah. She could fight the Monster. She could fight.

"My lovely Rose, we must test your abilities. We must know what we have on our side. We need powerful weapons."

"Why? Why do we need weapons? We're just traveling. That's what you said we'd be doing."

The gentle stroke changed instantly. Suddenly the Valeyard's hand was around her throat, gripping tight enough to make her gasp for air. He could kill her. It didn't matter. He could start torturing her again. Rose couldn't do that again. She couldn't go back to that pain. She couldn't go back to that torment. Her mind wouldn't survive. Her body would go on forever but her mind would disappear into the Void.

"I know what I said," he hissed. "This is what I'm saying now. We have power. We have the right to use it. The universe is at our feet. We can conquer any world we want. We can do whatever we want with no one to stop us."

The Valeyard released her neck. Rose remained standing, barely. Her whole body shook and her breathing became erratic. She had to get control of herself. She had to push away the fear for now. She had two lives to save. She could fall into the pit of fear later.

"Now, I want you to age Mr. Stone. Let's see what he looks like at, say, 50?"

"What? I don't know how to do that!" She did know. She could see his atoms. She could see what he would look like. She could see it all. It would be easy. She did not want it to be easy.

"Do not test me, Rose. Age him, _now_."

_Do as he says!_

The voice screamed in her mind. Pain shot through her body and Rose watched in horror as her arm raised itself of its own accord. Gold light swirled around her hand before shooting out to cover Jimmy in gold light and dust. Horrified, Rose watched his body begin to age right before her eyes. She saw his timeline shorten considerably. By the time she was done, half of Jimmy's life was gone.

Slowly, Jimmy began to examine his new body. He squinted as he examined his slightly wrinkled hands, his vision had clearly changed. His hands ran over his balding head in horror. His clothes, loose before, now barely fit his belly. Wrinkles gathered around his eyes and mouth. The man she had thought she loved so long ago no longer existed. This man was a stranger. He was a stranger _she_ had created.

"Excellent! Look at that. I bet you could reverse the process. But that can be saved for a later time." The Valeyard stood just out of Jimmy's reach and began to examine him. "Look at his timeline! This is brilliant."

Rose just stood there, stunned by what she had done. The Valeyard's excitement was disgusting but so was the act itself. She'd tried to fight it but her body wouldn't listen to her. It listened to the Valeyard. Why?

_Because you love him. You listen to him because you love him._

No! That couldn't be it. It couldn't be. Love wouldn't make her do that. It wouldn't. It couldn't. It...couldn't...

"Now, my love, age him to 90 years old."

Rose opened her mouth to protest but the pain shot through her body again at the thought of arguing with him. She ignored the pain. She'd been through worse. She tried to hold her arm down by her side but, once again, it was out of her control.

"Rose," Jimmy croaked in a much different voice than she remembered, "please stop. I'm sorry for everything. Please, Rose."

"I can't," Rose whispered as the Valeyard laughed. "I'm sorry, Jimmy. I'm so sorry."

Jimmy shrank. The wrinkles deepened and his skin turned blotchy. Dark purple bruises covered his wrists where the cuffs scraped against skin. His eyes turned cloudy as cataracts developed, making him almost blind. He fell to the floor, his legs unable to support him without assistance.

Tears rolled down Rose's cheeks as her arm lowered once more. Jimmy was slumped on the floor. The Valeyard squatted down to examine Jimmy again. He tilted his head interest as he studied Jimmy. He wasn't seeing a person. He was seeing an object, something without feelings. It disgusted her.

"Good. Very good. Let's finish this then." The Valeyard lifted Jimmy's head a smiled. "You got to spend the rest of your life with Rose, just like you promised her. Rose, age him to death."

Rose had known this was coming. Jimmy's timeline was practically gone. She looked into his eyes and saw the pleading there. But the pleading wasn't for her to stop this time. It was for her to kill him. It was the least she could do.

For the last time, Rose's arm lifted and gold light surround Jimmy. His timeline disappeared before her eyes. But she didn't stop there. After the life had left his body, she separated his atoms and turned him to dust. When she looked the Valeyard he smiled.

"Very good, my love."

Rose collapsed to the ground, completely drained. The Valeyard placed a hand on her head as a comforting gesture. Rose found no comfort in it but she couldn't move to shake him off. She wanted to leave. She wanted to be alone to mourn the life she had taken. But the Valeyard wasn't done. She knew he wasn't done. There was another person here. What would he make her to do Hannah?

The Valeyard left her side and went to Hannah. "Now, I want you to use your power to strike her. Any type of strike will do: a cut, a punch, etc. This one is used to beatings so it won't be too different from the life she already had."

Rose knew what he meant. The poor woman had had an awful life. The abuse she had endured had been terrible. She wouldn't do it. She wouldn't cause this woman any more pain. She had to fight. She had to save Hannah's life. She'd been unable to save Jimmy but she would save Hannah. She would.

"No," Rose said firmly, looking up at the Valeyard from the floor. She wasn't strong enough to stand yet but she would not give in. She was done taking his orders. She was done with his control. She would not be beaten. She was Rose fucking Tyler and she would not cower in fear any longer.

"Excuse me?" the Valeyard said in a dangerous tone. He walked towards her with fury in his eyes. Rose did not break eye contact. Fear had left her, only defiance remained.

"I said no," Rose told him, slowly getting to her feet.

"You _will_ do as I command."

His words forced her to her knees but she would not bow. She would not break.

The Valeyard stopped walking and simply stared at her. She could see the shock at her defiance. It had been a long time since she'd stood up for herself like this. The pressure from his commanded remained on her back like a boulder but she didn't give in. He had some kind of hold on her. He could control her but she was fighting as she'd never fought before.

"Fine," he said and, without warning, he pulled a knife from his pocket. Before Rose could do anything, before she could even think, he grabbed Hannah and plunged the knife into her abdomen, sliding it from one side to the other. Shock, fear, and pain twisted Hannah's face as blood and intestines spilled from her body.

Rose screamed. She screamed and flung her arms out. Gold light shot from her. The Valeyard went flying across the room slammed against the hard wall. Rose kept the pressure there, forcing him to hang there, unable to move. Hannah was engulfed in gold as Rose forced time to stop. She was horrified, disgusted, she would make the Valeyard pay.

Something in her mind broke and Rose found that she could move again. The Valeyard's command had no control over her. She looked up in shock as gold light shot up in a wall around her, blocking the Valeyard and Hannah from view. Then something began to materialize in front of her. To her surprise, she saw herself standing in front of her.

"Stand up, Rose. You are no longer under his control."

"Wh-who are you?"

The other Rose smiled. "I am Bad Wolf, of course. I am finally free from my prison in your mind."

"I thought the Valeyard had already freed you."

"He almost did but I pushed him away. It was not for him to release me. You had to find the strength in yourself. Now it is time for you to learn the truth."

Bad Wolf placed two fingers on each of Rose's temples and flung Rose into her past.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this chapter isn't too confusing. Dealing with a past and present Rose is difficult to write.

Rose found herself with Bad Wolf in Pete's old office. The stress of the job as Director was obviously taking its toll on Pete. Gray hairs and lines that hadn't been there when Rose had first met him made him look older than he was. Rose had told him before that he worked too hard and maybe it was time to retire but he had refused.

"What is this?" Rose asked Bad Wolf.

"We are in the past, observers to history. You need to know what happened."

"They can't see us?"

"We are specters, invisible to those around us. We cannot be seen or heard."

Rose nodded and focused on the scene unfolding in front of her. The Valeyard walked in followed by Andrew and some of the Valeyard's genetically altered agents. This had to be the moment when he'd taken over Torchwood.

"Hello, Doctor. What can I do for you?" Pete asked.

"Well, what you can do for me is really up to you. You can make my life easy and simply follow my orders. Or you can fight me and I will be forced to subdue you," the Valeyard told Pete calmly.

"What are you talking about?"

"Don't you check your voicemail? I'm sure you've missed and important call. Go ahead. And do put it on speaker."

Pete did as he was told and Rose heard her panicked voice echo around the room. She remembered this phone call. It was the last time she'd ever contacted her family.

"Dad, you have to run. The Doctor has gone insane. He shot me! He shot me in the fucking head! He's going to take over Torchwood. Take Mom and Tony and run. I'm sorry but I left without you. You're safer without me. I-I am so sorry. Please be safe. Keep everyone safe. Tell Mom and Tony that I love them. I love you. Goodbye."

Rose looked at Pete's expression and saw the shock and panic clearly written on his face. Tears pricked the back of her eyes. She had been too late to save her family. She'd known it but seeing it unfold before her was so much worse.

"What have you done to my family, Doctor?" Pete demanded.

"Nothing yet. Jackie and Tony are at home; completely oblivious to what is going on around them. I figured you would enjoy the task of informing them of your demotion. Poor Jackie, to lose Rose again. But don't worry, Mr. Tyler, I will find her."

Pete stood and looked at the Valeyard defiantly. "You won't. Rose is a smart girl. You'll never find her."

"Oh Pete, you don't know Rose at all. I do." A wicked grin spread across the Valeyard's face. "I know her weakness. It's her family." The Valeyard snapped his fingers and two agents walked in and grabbed Pete's arms, dragging him from the office.

"You're a monster! You're not the Doctor."

"You are right about one thing. There is no more Doctor. There is only the Valeyard." The Valeyard looked at the agents holding Pete. "Take him home. The Tyler's are officially under house arrest."

Rose wanted to throw herself at the Valeyard as he took a seat behind Pete's desk but the scene around her faded away and she found herself in a completely different place. The Valeyard was on the phone in a room Rose didn't recognize. Andrew was leaning against the door frame, listening in on the conversation.

"I don't give a damn what you feel, Michael. You will do your job or you will face the consequences. You are not alone in this assignment. You have a team backing you up. Find some balls and do you fucking job."

Rose couldn't hear the other side of the conversation but from the look on the Valeyard's face she could tell how he was feeling. He was in a dangerous mood. Michael was an idiot if he was arguing with the Valeyard. The Valeyard slammed the phone down and let out a frustrated growl. Rose knew that growl as well.

"More issues with Michael?" Andrew asked in a slightly bored tone.

"Yes. How the hell did he even manage to get into Torchwood in the first place?"

Andrew shrugged. "He fit all the qualifications and was a good match for the genetic enhancements. I guess his personality changed after he was processed. That happens sometimes."

"True. I think it's time to release him. I can't handle his stupidity anymore."

"Release? Not just a mind wipe?" Andrew's eyebrow rose in surprise.

Rose didn't have any idea what they were talking about. What was the difference? She knew it couldn't be good. Andrew's surprise was enough to tell her that much. She glanced at Bad Wolf for an answer but Bad Wolf shook her head, silently telling Rose to watch.

"We have a man-eater in the dungeons, correct?" the Valeyard said.

"Yes. We're still running some experiments on him before we kill him. You're thinking of feeding Michael to that creature?"

"I don't trust the mind wipe for Michael. I will make my final decision after this assignment is complete. It will depend on how much he fucks it up."

"Yes sir."

The room faded and once again Rose found herself in Pete's office. It didn't look like Pete had ever occupied this office. All the furniture had been replaced. Everything was modernized; glass tops, black leather, black wood. It brought a sterile feel to the place. There wasn't any warmth in it like there had been when Pete sat the Director chair. Andrew stood behind the Valeyard while two agents sat in chairs in front of the Valeyard's desk. Another agent was standing near the doorway, listening but not participating.

"I'm ready for your report," said the Valeyard.

One agent dressed in an emergency response uniform had blood all down his front. Horror gripped Rose as she stared at the reddish-brown stain covering the man. Whose blood had he washed his hands in? A part of her already knew but she had to hear it for herself.

"Michael did as instructed and hit the Tyler vehicle while they were crossing the intersection. The car slammed into a pole so they were pinned between the Michael's vehicle and the light post. We arrived in the ambulance five minutes after the accident and found that bystanders were already trying to assist the Tyler's and Michael."

"What happened to Michael?"

"He was knocked out. The idiot...I mean, _he_ hit his head on the steering wheel."

The Valeyard's lip twitched in obvious amusement. Apparently no one liked Michael. When the man didn't speak again, the Valeyard nodded and motioned for him to continue. It was amazing how much the agents feared and respected the Valeyard. They could have easily risen up against him for his brutal treatment but they didn't. It had to be something to do with the enhancements each agent went through when they started at Torchwood. There had to be something that made these men and women more submissive than one would usually be.

"Tony was already on the street receiving CPR from a citizen. Someone else was helping Michael out of his seatbelt. At least he remembered to do that. Pete was already dead. He didn't have a pulse so we didn't both with him. Jackie was in and out of consciousness, cut up from the glass and debris. She would probably have survived if she had made it to the hospital. I climbed in through the window and cut her femoral artery," the agent gestured to his uniform, "She bled out quickly."

Rose felt light-headed and made to grasp a table or chair to brace herself. Instead, warm hands held her up. She gratefully leaned into Bad Wolf's support. That was when she noticed the hot tears streaming down her face. Her family, her whole family, murdered by the Valeyard and his men.

"And Tony?"

The other agent, also dressed in a uniform but not covered in her mother's blood, spoke up. "We got him into the ambulance and gave him a shot of potassium chloride. His heart stopped and he was dead by the time we got to the hospital."

The Valeyard nodded in approval. "Very good. You've done an excellent job and this will be noted on your record. You are dismissed." The two men stood and left the room. The Valeyard then looked to the man standing at the door. "Bring Michael to me. You will need additional men to escort him for release."

The agent paled at the Valeyard's words but nodded and left the room. Rose felt the bile rise in her throat as she saw the malevolent smile spread across his face.

"Murderer!" Rose cried as the room faded to black.

A woman in a white lab coat stood next to the Valeyard just outside a door. Rose recognized it instantly. It was the door to her cell. The woman held a tray of food out to the Valeyard. It wasn't often that the Valeyard had brought her food so she became instantly uneasy.

"Is the hallucinogen in everything?" he asked the Lab Coat.

"Yes. We even put it in the water. Anything she consumes will cause her to be delirious."

"And you're sure these hallucinations will be of the terrifying kind? I don't want her happy."

"We made this special kind of drug for the exact affects you require. She should start screaming not long after it hits her system."

The Valeyard nodded and dismissed the Lab Coat. He opened the door to her cell and placed the tray just inside. A few minutes later, after making sure Rose had eaten her dinner, he opened the door again to let in a little light. Her screams made him smile in delight. Just before stepping in, Rose saw him school his expression into one of concern. She knew instantly what would happen next.

"Rose!" he called from the door.

"Help me!" the Rose inside the cell cried. "They're going to eat me. Help me!"

The Valeyard crossed the room and scooped Rose up into his arms. She was sobbing and clutching the Valeyard as the terror swept over her. The drug had done exactly as the Lab Coat had promised.

"It's okay, Rose. I've got you. They aren't going to get you."

"The demons. The demons! They want to eat me. Please hurry."

Bad Wolf and Rose followed the Valeyard as he jogged to his room. The door shut before they could follow but Bad Wolf ignored it and walked right through the solid wood. Inside they watched him place a sobbing Rose on the bed, trying to pry himself from her grip.

"I'll be right back."

"No!" Rose begged, grabbing his hand and squeezing it so he wouldn't go.

They saw the Valeyard smile before turning a serious face to the terrified Rose. "I promise. You'll be okay. I'll be right back." A minute later he returned with a syringe full of sedative. Rose had crawled under the covers and the Valeyard joined her. His words floated through the empty room, slightly muffled by the sheets.

"Rose, my Rose," he crooned. "It's okay. I'm here. I'll protect you. I love you. I will always be here for you."

"I'm going mad. I'm so scared."

"You have nothing to fear when I am here. I can help you. I can make the demons go away. Do you trust me?"

"Yes."

"This will help. Do you trust me?"

"Yes. Please, Valeyard, save me."

This was why he had dosed her. He had wanted her to say those words. He'd wanted her to need his help. And Rose, terrified and unable to think clearly, had fallen into his trap. She felt sick. Everything Bad Wolf was showing her was terrible. She wanted it to stop but she knew she couldn't. She _had_ to know. She needed to know everything.

The room faded before reforming into the small hospital room the Valeyard had taken her to just before her last regeneration. The Valeyard had a syringe full sedative and another full of the poison that would kill her. Rose's past self sat there watching him, looking haggard and defeated. It was hard to see herself looking like that.

"Now Rose, we must come to an agreement. I've saved you from my agents but you can always go back. I want your word that you will not disobey me and you will not try to run away. You have to agree to work with me to save the TARDIS and return to our universe."

"You know I will listen to you, Valeyard. I said I would."

"I'd rather not chance it." He put his hands on her temples. Not long after this, the gold wolf appeared, growling.

"He's entered your mind, forcing his words deep into your conscious. This is where the voice originated," Bad Wolf told Rose.

"Rose Tyler, give me your word that you will obey all of my commands," he said in a powerful voice.

"I will."

"You will do everything in your power to help me heal and grow the TARDIS and get us back to our universe."

"I will."

"You will be my wife and love me again."

There was a pause this time but eventually Rose responded, "I will.

"You are bound to me," he said and injected the sedative into her arm.

"This is what I forgot," Rose said to Bad Wolf.

"Yes. And that's not all. Watch."

The Valeyard had caught Rose and laid her on the hospital bed. He stared her for a few moments, moving her hair out of the way and smiling. He only looked up when the gold wolf growled. The wolf was large and beautiful and menacing. He looked at the wolf with a raised eyebrow. Her hackles were raised, her back humped, her long teeth exposed.

"Very nice," Rose told Bad Wolf.

Bad Wolf smiled and winked, "I try."

"Calm down, Wolf. I'm not going to do anything to her."

The wolf snarled again and stepped towards him. The Valeyard stared back at the large wolf, looking bored, but Rose knew he was a little afraid. Of course, he wouldn't dare show true fear to anyone.

"Emotions!" the Valeyard exclaimed. "Of course. How could I be so stupid?"

Rose looked to Bad Wolf in confusion. "What?"

"He's realized that I was able to appear when you were in a highly emotional state. He's correct. The block was there but there were times that I could push through and come to your aid."

"Like when I saw my family's bodies?" Rose asked quietly.

"Yes. This is when he became extremely focused on my release. Since the oaths bound you to him, he felt he could control me," a slightly wicked smile graced Bad Wolf's face. "Nothing can control me."

Rose returned the grin. "Of course not."

They watched as the wolf leapt onto the bed and stood over Rose. She snarled when the Valeyard picked up the syringe filled with the poison.

"I'm only going to help her," he said.

The wolf let out another low warning growl. He ignored it and approached Rose. The wolf settled on Rose's chest, resting her head between her paws. Her ears remained erect and her eyes followed the Valeyard's every movement. He hesitated for a moment, seemingly unsure of the wolf's possible actions. When nothing happened, he stuck the needle in Rose's arm and emptied the syringe's contents.

The man and the wolf stared at each other, waiting for the moment when Rose's body died. After a few minutes the wolf rose, lifted her head back, and let out a long howl. The song spread through the room. It seemed to touch everything. Despite Bad Wolf's assurances that they were not part of this history, Rose could feel the emotion in the song deep in her soul. The wolf sang of protection, of love, of beauty. It called to anyone who could hear it.

The wolf began to glow. Gold light surrounded and then encased the Rose on the bed. As the light began to brighten, the howl grew louder. The Valeyard stepped back from the bright light and energy, raising his arm to protect his eyes. He looked amazed, like this time the regeneration was different. Soon the light became too bright and he had to look away. When it finally began to dim, they saw Rose hovering in mid-air, surrounded in a cocoon of gold light and dust. Her hair blew in a phantom wind, power emanated from her. Slowly the cocoon lowered and vanished. The girl on the bed looked completely different. All the scars had vanished and her famished body had filled out. She looked healthy and alive.

The newly regenerated Rose sat up quickly and looked around in panic. She looked confused and a little scared. Her eyes dashed around the room, trying to take in her surroundings. It was a familiar and unwelcome feeling. Dying and coming back was not a fun experience.

"I'm right here, Rose," the Valeyard said softly. Rose's eyes locked on to him, seeking reassurance. "How do you feel?"

She took a moment, as if checking in with her body. Finally she smiled. "I'm good. I'm really good."

The Valeyard returned her smile. "Fantastic.

* * *

Everything faded to black but nothing reformed. Rose and Bad Wolf stood in the blackness, able to see each other clearly. Rose stood there for a moment trying to absorb everything she'd just seen. It all seemed to hit her at once. She curled in on herself and fell to the floor, sobbing. They tore through her, the pain and tears a welcome relief. She had not cried like this in a very long time. It hurt but it was freeing to finally be able to cry.

Bad Wolf sank down next to her and pulled Rose into a hug. She rocked Rose and murmured something in a song-like language. Rose instantly knew that it was Gallifreyan. Out of the darkness came the TARDIS song. It wrapped around Rose and sang to her very soul. Bad Wolf's words and the TARDIS's song helped ease the pain. Soon she was able to get herself under control. She slowly pulled herself from Bad Wolf's arms and thanked the TARDIS and Bad Wolf.

"He murdered my family," Rose stated.

"Yes." Bad Wolf confirmed.

"He tried to control me and you."

"Yes."

"He is a terrible person and he must be punished."

"I agree."

A weight seemed to have lifted from Rose's shoulders and she felt like she could breathe for the first time in a very long time. All her questions, all her worries, everything had been answered. Suddenly she felt exhausted. She didn't want to think. She didn't want to feel. The rage and fury burned in her but she couldn't force herself to do anything with it.

Bad Wolf seemed to know what she was thinking. "Rose, you can rest now. I can take over from here."

"What? How?"

"You and I share a soul. We also happen to share a body. It's a simple swap. We can speak but I will be doing everything for you. You can rest, Rose. You can be free."

"Can I be the gold wolf?" Rose asked excitedly.

"Yes," Bad Wolf said with a smile. "Take my hand. It's time to finally be whole, as we should be."

Rose stood and placed her hand into Bad Wolf's. Her body began to fill with heat before she suddenly felt weightless. Then, she was back in her body, seeing things as Bad Wolf saw them, feeling them as Bad Wolf felt but not in charge. Rose had thought that she wouldn't like the feeling of someone else controlling her body but found she didn't mind. Instinctively she knew that she how to become the wolf as Bad Wolf had done.

"Let's go have some fun," Bad Wolf said.

_Yes, let's._ Rose agreed.


	28. Chapter 28

The world they had left reappeared. Rose watched through Bad Wolf's eyes, taking in the horror of the room. Hannah was on the floor in a pool of her own blood. Bad Wolf had put her in a time freeze. She wasn't alive but she wasn't dead. The Valeyard was pinned to the wall; his arms spread slightly, a look of fury on his face. He opened his mouth to speak but Bad Wolf forced it shut. He made unintelligible noises but she ignored him. Instead she turned her attention to the woman on the floor.

Pity and horror filled her chest as she took in the state of Hannah. Bad Wolf could feel Rose's emotions rushing through her as well. Rose felt that this was all her fault. Bad Wolf planned to rectify the situation.

She knelt next to Hannah and removed the time freeze and watched the agony fill her face. Blood soaked into her jeans She placed her hand on Hannah's chest, numbing the pain. But there was nothing she could do with the pain she saw in Hannah's eyes. Bad Wolf could see the woman's life unfolding before her eyes.

Hannah's father had died when she was very young and her mother turned to alcohol to cope with the loss. Her history with men was not a good one; abusive boyfriends and a terrible husband. Her only happiness had been her daughter, Kayla. Her husband had treated Kayla like she was angel. During that time, Hannah was happy. Her husband didn't hit her for 5 years.

Then everything went to hell. Her baby was out in the front yard playing when she saw a cat across the street. Before Hannah could do anything, Kayla was in the street, dead. Hannah's husband blamed her. He beat Hannah every night until he decided to kick her out. Hannah turned to drugs and alcohol. Three years later, the Valeyard found her and offered her some drugs and a place to sleep.

Rose materialized next to Bad Wolf in the form of the gold wolf. She pressed her nose to Hannah's forehead and whined. She too could see Hannah's life and all the terrible things the universe had thrown her way. Hannah never had the chance to escape. She was stuck in her terrible world so of course she took the Valeyard up on his offer. Drugs numbed her to the world and her sorrows.

_Help her_.

"Hannah, look at me," Bad Wolf said softly. The woman looked at Bad Wolf and her eyes widened in shock.

"But, you were going to kill me. You killed that man."

"I did not want to kill Jimmy. That man over there forced me to do it. But I'm free from his control now and I want to help you."

"How could you possibly help?" Hannah asked. She lifted her head slightly and saw her intestines on the floor, her blood pooled around her. "I'm dying."

Bad Wolf heard a sound of relief in the words. She could give Hannah life or death but she would not be the one to make that decision.

"Hannah, I can heal your wound, erase your memories, and send you on your way. Or, I could help you die. I can take away the pain you're in so you can die in peace. You must decide this. You don't have long. Soon you will be beyond my capability to heal."

Hannah didn't even pause to think. Bad Wolf and Rose watched the fear fade and a small smile formed on the pale, thin face. They both knew what she would choose.

"I want to go. I want to see my baby again. That's all I want. I want to be with my baby."

Bad Wolf nodded and Hannah closed her eyes and sighed with contentment. Rose touched her nose to Hannah's forehead once more before backing away to let Bad Wolf do her work. She sent Hannah into a deep sleep so she wouldn't feel any pain as she passed on to the next life. Half of Hannah's blood was on the floor; it didn't take much to stop her heart. Rose saw the life leave Hannah's body. She lifted her head howled a song in honor of Hannah.

_She's at peace now._

"Yes," Bad Wolf said sadly. She looked at the empty body and sighed. There would be no funeral for Hannah. There was no one to mourn her loss. So Rose and Bad Wolf would mourn for her instead.

Both Rose and Bad Wolf turned to where the Valeyard was pinned to the wall. Rose found his fury terrifying but Bad Wolf was not afraid. There was nothing for Rose to be afraid of anymore. Bad Wolf stepped forward and looked at the man who had hurt her Rose. The Valeyard's rage was nothing compared to Bad Wolf's. She released the hold she had over his mouth with a wave of her hand and waited.

"Let. Me. Go. Release me now." He punctuated each word, making it a command that Rose would not have been able to fight before. But that was gone now.

"Sorry to tell you, Valeyard, but that's not going to happen. You no longer have control over Rose. She broke free of your bonds."

The Valeyard frowned. It was obvious that he didn't realize that the person standing before him was not Rose. Bad Wolf smiled at his confusion. It was cruel smile, promising pain and humiliation. Rose stood behind her, hiding from the Valeyard's glare. Fear poured off her in waves.

_Be calm, Rose. He cannot hurt you anymore._ Bad Wolf said to Rose.

Rose whined slightly. _I know. It's just difficult. He's so angry._

_As am I._

"Why is your wolf whining? Is she scared of you now?" the Valeyard sneered.

"Why would she be scared of me? She has nothing to fear. It is you who should be afraid. You see, it's time for you to feel the wrath of Bad Wolf."

"You will not hurt me, Rose. You love me."

Bad Wolf smiled again, leaned in close to his ear and said, " _I_ am Bad Wolf." She was satisfied to see the Valeyard's face pale. He looked down to the gold wolf next to her. Instantly he understood. Bad Wolf occupied Rose's body and Rose occupied the wolf's.

"Please. Please don't," he pleaded. "Rose wouldn't want that. She loves me. She wouldn't want to see me hurt."

Rose growled, showing him her long teeth. It was obvious to everyone that Rose would love nothing better than to see him in pain.

_Can I bite him?_

Bad Wolf smirked. _Not yet._

Rose huffed her annoyance but nodded. _Tell him I do not love him. My love for him died on the day he killed me._

Bad Wolf repeated Rose's words. They weren't surprised when anger returned to his face. He fought hard against Bad Wolf's restraints but there was nothing he could do. He was trapped and he knew it.

"This is what is going to happen. You will feel the pain you inflicted on Rose. You will feel her terror. You will feel everything you ever did to her. You will suffer."

"No. You can't do this to me."

"Don't worry, Valeyard. You won't be alone." Bad Wolf looked to Rose. "Now."

The wolf leapt forward and sank her teeth into the Valeyard's leg. He let out a howl of pain as bone broke and muscles tore under the wolf's powerful jaws. Rose jumped back and hacked. Blood dripped from her mouth and she looked disgusted.

_Gross. Not very pleasant but highly satisfying._

Bad Wolf agreed on that end. It was satisfying to see the Valeyard in such pain. The wolf next to her dissolved and Rose returned to Bad Wolf's body. She smiled her cruel smile and looked at the Valeyard as she opened a dark hole beneath his feet. It looked ominous but the drop wasn't far. It was the fear she was going for.

"See you soon," she said as she waved. The Valeyard's eyes, full of pain, now turned fearful as he looked below. Bad Wolf released the bonds on his body and he fell into the dark cell below.

_Now let's go get the Doctor_ , Rose said.

* * *

The Doctor was beyond frustrated. He was bored. A bored Doctor was never a good thing. He'd been floating in space for at least a month, perhaps longer, waiting for Rose. Now she was back and he was still doing nothing. Nothing! He'd cleared out the storage room, cleaned and dusted the entire place, fixed things that didn't need fixing, found missing items and lost even more; he was _bored_.

Rose was down there, on Earth, in London, with her TARDIS. She'd come through the Void and had completely ignored him! What happened? Why? She said she was coming. Well here she was, back in this universe, and she was completely ignoring him. He had to admit, he was insulted.

He stared at the odd bit of alien technology in his hand with a frown. It looked like absolute rubbish. With a sigh, he tossed it over his shoulder and got up. That was it. He wasn't going to wait anymore. The Doctor walked quickly to the console room and began to set coordinates for the Powell Estate.

Just as he was about to pull the lever to send the TARDIS into the Vortex, there was a huge lurch and the Doctor went crashing to the ground. Looking around in confusion, the Doctor looked to the monitor. They were in the Vortex but he wasn't flying. The TARDIS was being towed by another TARDIS.

"Rose!" the Doctor exclaimed. "Where the hell are you taking me?"

There wasn't much he could do. It didn't matter anyway. A few moments later he heard the familiar sound of a landing TARDIS. The monitor showed that they were no longer in the Time Vortex. Rose had pulled him somewhere and it was time to find out what was going on.

With a slight hesitation, the Doctor opened the TARDIS doors to a winter wonderland. Rose was standing just inside her TARDIS, her left shoulder resting on the door, her arms cross, with a smile on her face. Shock slammed through the Doctor as he stepped out and took a couple steps towards her. She nodded and he heard a slam as his TARDIS doors closed. The Doctor spun and watched in horror as his ship dematerialized right before his eyes.

"Where did you send her?" the Doctor demanded. Rose hadn't moved an inch. She simply smiled at him for a moment before she finally stepped down and walked towards him.

"Don't worry, Doctor. She's with the Ood. She's safe. I would never hurt your TARDIS."

"With the Ood?"

Rose shook her head, "Don't you ever look at where you are before you step outside?"

The Doctor smiled, "Rarely. It makes everything more exciting."

"I've brought us to the Oodsphere. It's a peaceful planet. Nothing will happen to us here."

Rose stepped to the side and gestured towards her TARDIS's open doors. He could see part of the inside and he had a burning to desire to explore. It had been so long since he'd seen much less been inside another TARDIS. So very long. Of course, everything said that this was a horrible trap.

The Doctor looked back to the woman standing near him. He couldn't read her face. He used to be able to read it before…well, before everything. Now he knew nothing. He couldn't read anything. So much had changed. Rose looked harder now. There didn't seem to be any happiness in her eyes. Her eyes were no longer their soft brown but a hard gold. It hurt his hearts to see.

He knew she would stand there all day waiting for him to enter her TARDIS. He was surprised that she wasn't reacting to the cold. Jeans and a simple leather jacket didn't seem to be enough to keep a human warm. Of course, Rose wasn't simply human anymore. With a small sigh, the Doctor walked into the TARDIS.

It had a warmth to it. The cream walls accented the golden hue emanating from the time column. He kneeled on the glass-like floor to see the wires and other equipment below. It was an odd glass, not warm or cold, with gold flecks floating in it. He wrapped his knuckles on it to see what kind of glass it actually was. His tongue could definitely tell-

"Do _not_ lick the floor," Rose told him sternly. She still seemed to know him enough to know him tendencies.

"It's quite beautiful," the Doctor told her as he stood. He went to the center console and fingered the buttons and levers. He couldn't see any signs of the Valeyard's touch in the design and he found that part comforting. "Her song is similar to my TARDIS's."

Rose snorted. "Of course it is, idiot. They're sisters."

They were dancing around the reason the Doctor was here. They both knew it but it seemed like Rose was testing him. He found it unnerving. What did she want? What did she plan on doing? Those questions and more constantly rolled through his brain.

"So," the Doctor said finally, breaking the tense silence after Rose's statement, "what happens next? Where is the Valeyard?"

Rose smiled again and this time it sent a shiver of fear - or was it dread - down his spine. "The Valeyard is currently dealing with an injury he recently received. It's just you and me for now."

"Rose, I am so very sorry for all of this. I didn't know what he would become. I didn't know he would hurt you. I never would have left him with you if I had. You have to know that."

"But you still would have returned her to that parallel world, right?"

"I'm not sure," the Doctor said with a frown, noting the use of 'her' instead of 'me'.

"Rose wanted to travel with you again. She wanted so much to be with you but you left her in the hands of a monster. She had no one. She only had me. I did my best to keep her safe, to keep her sane. I tried to help with the pain. But there was only so much I could do, locked up as I was."

"What are you talking about?"

"I am Bad Wolf, Doctor. Rose has given me control of her body. She doesn't want to hurt anymore and I'm going to make sure of it."

The Doctor's hearts skipped a beat. "Bad Wolf? But, you're crushing her mind! You'll suffocate her." His thoughts instantly went to the time when Cassandra had used the psychograft and entered their bodies.

"Don't be an idiot. I would never harm Rose. I've done everything in my power to protect her. She is safe now because of me. Did you ever wonder why you returned for her after she denied your offer to travel with you in that cold, dark alley?"

"Not really. I don't usually ask more than once but for some reason I did that time. Rose seemed special."

"That's because Rose is special. She was always meant to scatter my name across time and space. Bad Wolf has always existed, but Rose first had to find a way to create me. I had to be born to save you. It's all very complicated."

"A bit timey-wimey, you could say," the Doctor said with a small smile.

"Rose loved you. I was born out of her love for you. She saved your life and then you saved hers. The separation from the fallout of Torchwood was a necessity. She had to be in the parallel world to save the universe from the Daleks. However, she did _not_ need to be returned and left there with a mad meta-crisis."

The Doctor's stomach sank. He had hoped they would remain civil for longer than this. He was nervous and slightly scared. What would Bad Wolf do to him? What did she need to accomplish in the end?

"I thought I was giving her the life she could never have with me."

"Excuses!" Bad Wolf shouted. "You never bothered to ask. You just assumed that leaving her with the other Doctor would make her happy. You didn't think about any of the possible consequences. There has never been a Time Lord meta-crisis. You had no idea what would become of him. Donna's mind would have burned if you hadn't saved her. What if that had happened to him? You didn't prepare her. You didn't explain. You dropped her off and left like you always do. The Doctor, the man who always runs. The man who never looks back, out of shame."

"I regret what happened!" the Doctor yelled back. "I would never have put Rose through this if I had known. But I can't know everything. I do the best I can. I wanted Rose to be happy. That's all I've ever wanted. I wanted her safe and happy."

"Well she was neither safe, nor happy," Bad Wolf said. She approached him, her gold eyes glowing, the aura around her pulsing with power. "I want to show you something before you go get to greet the Valeyard."

Before the Doctor could move or protest, Bad Wolf touched her fingers to his temples. Bad Wolf's mind forced her way past all the Doctor's mental defenses like they were tissue paper. Suddenly a memory that was not his played out before his eyes.

_Rose sat on the couch, eyes on the telly, a bowl of popcorn in her lap. She wasn't really watching what was on the screen. No, her thoughts were on the Doctor. He had changed so much lately. Something was going on. Something was wrong. He was more aggressive and more arrogant. He seemed cruel too. That was not a word she had ever associated with the Doctor._

_Thoughts consumed by the Doctor's odd behavior, Rose didn't notice him standing in the doorway to the living room until she heard the tell-tale sound of a cocked gun. She looked up, eyes wide, and found herself staring down the barrel of a gun. Her heart pounded in her chest and everything in her told her to run. But running would accomplish nothing. Not now._

" _Doctor?" she said in a shaky voice. If she could talk him out of this, everything would be okay. "What are you doing?"_

" _I'm testing something. You see, I think you can regenerate from any kind of death. I want to see how long it takes. I want to see what your body can handle before you die. Do be a dear and stay still. This will be quick."_

" _Don't do this. Please, Doctor, don't do this. You don't want to hurt me."_

" _No, I don't want to hurt you. But I want answers. You have the answers. If I have to hurt you, I will. Don't make this hard. You will regret it."_

_Rose made to run but the bullet was faster than she was. A brief moment of agony and then darkness._

The Doctor was slammed into reality, breathing heavily. He'd felt every emotion, heard every thought, felt her body flood with adrenaline as she faced death. The Valeyard may have pulled the trigger but the Doctor had left her in a world with no escape.

"That was her first murder. Now, it's time for you to meet the Valeyard."

A hole opened beneath the Doctor's feet and he fell into the unknown below.

"Ta-ta for now!" Bad Wolf said and waved into the dark.


	29. Chapter 29

The Doctor fell for a brief moment into darkness and landed on his feet with a thud. His ankle twisted and he fell on his ass.

"Ta-ta for now!" he heard Bad Wolf say. He looked up and saw her waving at him before the hole closed and he was plunged into the black of a lightless room.

He let out a small groan of pain before forcing himself to his feet. His ankle protested slightly but it held his weight. He turned in a small circle but could see nothing. Fantastic. How long would she keep him waiting?

"Who's there?" said a horribly familiar voice.

"Who do you think?" the Doctor replied sarcastically.

"Ah, so she locked you up here with me," the Valeyard replied.

Light suddenly filled the room and the Doctor found himself in a small cell. A thin mattress was next to the wall with a flat pillow and a ragged blanket. He went to the door and inspected it with his sonic screwdriver. Deadlock seal. There was no getting out. He turned and found himself facing an exact replica of his cell separated by thick bars. The Valeyard was sitting on the mattress with the blanket wrapped around his left leg. The Doctor could see blood. This was the injury Bad Wolf had mentioned.

Rage filled him at the sight of the Valeyard. He wanted to pry open the bars and kill the Valeyard with his bare hands. The Valeyard looked like he was bored but the Doctor knew he had to be in pain. It was obviously it was a serious wound.

"What happened to you?"

"I got bitten by a wolf."

"How the hell did you manage that?"

"Rose took the form of the gold wolf and bit me before Bad Wolf dropped me down here. This is the first time I've had the chance to really look at it. The lights haven't been on." He unwrapped the blanket and the Doctor could see torn flesh and bone.

"Looks painful."

"I've had worse," the Valeyard said airly.

The Doctor knew it had to be hurting him. He was happy to see the Valeyard in pain but it sadden him that it was Rose who had inflicted it. He did not like to think that Rose was capable of such things. Of course, Rose was very different now. Rose wasn't even talking at the moment. Bad Wolf was. And Bad Wolf had had her say and then dropped him in hole.

"I have a feeling Bad Wolf placed us here for a particular reason. So, what does this mean to Rose?"

"This is an exact replica of the her room at Torchwood."

The Doctor looked at the flat mattress, the threadbare blanket, the metal toilet and sink in the corner, the lack of windows, and a door that locked on the outside. This wasn't a room. This was a cell. He knew that the Valeyard had tortured her but seeing the conditions in which she had lived infuriated him.

"You bastard. This is not a room. You tortured her in here. You tortured her and you enjoyed it. I know it. I can see it in your eyes. You should be glad that these bars are here or I'd rip you to shreds."

"Oh, I'm so frightened. The Oncoming Storm is nothing compared to me. You should know. You know what I'm capable of."

Yes, the Doctor had met the Valeyard in a previous regeneration. He never would have guessed that his clone would become this monster. He could never have imagined it. And he never would have left him with Rose if he had known. He should have known. Somehow he should have known.

"Why? Why did you do this to her?"

"I had to. I had to free Bad Wolf. I had to find a way back home. She has forgiven me. She understands why I did what I did. She loves me."

The Doctor laughed. He actually laughed at the man across the room from him. The Valeyard was delusional if he thought Rose loved him. He may have broken her to the point of giving in, but Rose couldn't possibly love a man who tortured her over and over. Their situation made that much obvious to the Doctor. The Valeyard seemed to be in denial.

"Look at yourself. You have a broken leg and you're in a cell. This is not love. This is rage. This is revenge," the Doctor told the Valeyard.

"You don't know what you're talking about. You don't-"

The Valeyard was interrupted by a glowing gold orb that appeared in the air. It was on the Valeyard's side of the room. It looked just the gold light that had poured out of the TARDIS console when Blon Fel-Fotch Passameer-Day Siltheen had tried to use the extrapolator and when Rose had returned to the game station with light spilling from the TARDIS doors. The golden globe hovered in the air for a moment before moving towards the Valeyard. The Doctor could see the fear on the Valeyard's face despite his attempt to hide it. The globe shifted shapes and wrapped itself around the Valeyard's injury. The room was filled with a blinding light before it suddenly vanished, leaving no trace.

Both men looked at the Valeyard's formerly injured leg. It was completely healed. The only sign that there had been any kind of injury was the torn trousers and a scar that matched the teeth marks you'd find on a wolf.

"See, Rose loves me. She just healed me," the Valeyard said triumphantly.

The Doctor was unconvinced. There had to be a reason behind it. He had a feeling that all would be revealed when Bad Wolf moved on to the next step in her planned revenge.

"Believe what you will. We shall see," the Doctor said in a weary voice. He lay down on the springy, uncomfortable mattress and closed his eyes. All they could do was wait.

* * *

Rose threw more clothes onto the growing pile just outside the TARDIS doors. She'd already empty the dresser of his clothing and dragged out all the furniture that she and the Valeyard had shared. She didn't want anything of the Valeyard's left on her TARDIS. Bad Wolf agreed with her. So Rose was emptying the entire bedroom of his clothing, the mattress, and anything else he had touched. The TARDIS had already remade the bathroom so it no longer reminded her of the man she hated.

 _His leg has been healed._ Bad Wolf told her.

"Good. Let him think I've forgiven him. Let him think he's caught a break. We will show him in the end."

Rose stood on the threshold of the empty bedroom. The ceiling still showed twinkling stars. She hadn't wanted to get rid of that feature of the room. Stars and planets had no correlation to the Valeyard. He couldn't harm her love of them. He couldn't touch that part of her heart. Looking around the empty space one last time, Rose closed her eyes and pictured what she wanted the room to look like. When she opened them again, furniture filled the space. The walls were a light gray that matched the cherry wood furniture well. The king size bed had a large headboard with gallifreyan words etched into it. She would look at what the words said later. The dresser, night stands, chest, and floor length mirror matched the bed set. A purple, cream, and gray comforter covered the mattress, matching the walls perfectly. Rose was tempted to try out the thick mattress but she wanted to complete one task first.

She grabbed a can of a fire accelerant and matches. Bad Wolf appeared at her side in her largest wolf form. After pouring the accelerant on the pile of clothes and furniture, Rose lit and dropped a few matches onto the pile. The flames licked gleefully at the wood and clothing. All too soon the clothes turned to ash and the wood burned to embers. Rose stamped out anything that glowed and stared at the black mark marring the pure white snow. It was a blight on the land but it was a necessary one. Rose looked up as the snow began to fall harder. The ashes would soon be covered. That was for the better. She didn't want to step back out and see the remains of her relationship with the Valeyard. She didn't want that sight to continue to mar the beautiful land of the Oodsphere.

Rose returned to her new room and collapsed on the bed. The bed was so comfortable and soft. She curled up under the sheets and sighed. She would get some good rest before returning to the two men. They would get to spend the night in a cell and understand a little, or a lot, of what she went through with it. The lights would remain on for the entire night. Unfortunately, the Doctor had a perfect Time Sense that not even the TARDIS could block. She was unsure of the Valeyard's abilities however. Hopefully he would suffer like she did.

* * *

The Doctor was in the brightly lit cell in one moment, in the next he was standing on a familiar beach with waves frozen in their path towards the shoreline, hundreds of feet in the air. Woman Wept. It was a beautiful sight. He had fond memories of this beach.

A few steps away from him stood Rose, staring out at the waves, her hair blowing in the wind. She didn't say anything when he walked up to her. He saw tears on her cheeks. It hurt his hearts to see that pain. He wanted to pull her into his arms and comfort her. But she wouldn't allow that to happen. He knew she wouldn't.

"Do you remember this day?" Rose asked finally.

For a few moments he had thought that the woman next to him would be Bad Wolf but now he knew it was Rose. He was grateful for that.

"Yes. This was a good day."

Jack had stayed in the TARDIS and had given them some alone time. The Captain had seen their relationship early on and had encouraged it. It just took the Doctor and Rose a little longer to see it.

"I have so many good memories of the times when you were in your Ninth incarnation."

She waved her hands and suddenly they were on Platform One, pieces of the Earth were floating past the viewing window. This had been their true first adventure. He had been afraid that she would leave him after everything that had happened. But she hadn't. She had stayed. Though she had been afraid, though she had missed Earth's destruction, she had stayed.

"My memories of your Tenth self are tainted now."

She waved her hand again and they were suddenly in the Warp Hotel, drinking tea, Rose raising her cup to the Doctor. He remembered this day as well. He hadn't liked being considered a hero but he'd let Rose buy him "some of the best tea in the universe."

"This had been a good day. But now I only see the Valeyard's face, not yours."

"I'm so sorry Rose. I never believed this would have happened. I never would have left you with him if-"

"Spare me," Rose interrupted. "I don't want to hear anymore of your apologies and stories of regret. You made your choice. You left me in a parallel world with a monster, a monster that you created. You will face the consequences. Just as the Valeyard will face the consequences of his actions. Bad Wolf is very angry. I don't know what she has planned for you."

She waved her hand once again and the scene changed. She had brought them to the console room in her TARDIS. It seemed she needed to escape the memories and the only way she could do that was in a place that held no reminders of him.

"Why did you bring me here? Why did you pull me into this dream world?" the Doctor asked.

She was quiet for so long, he wasn't sure she would answer him. Finally she said, "I don't know. I don't think I meant to."

She finally turned to face him. "How many? How many years has it been?"

The Doctor hadn't expected that question. "I'm not sure. I don't like to think about that. I traveled with the Ponds for a long time. Then Clara."

"How many times have you forgotten my name?"

"I have never forgotten you. I have never forgotten you name. How could I ever forget?"

"But you tried."

"I always try. It hurts to remember. But I always remember." Ignoring all the signs of Rose not wanting his touch, he grabbed her hand and looked straight into her eyes. "I remember the feel of your hand in mine. I remember the look on your face. I remember the first word I ever spoke to you."

"Run,"she whispered

They stood there for a moment before Rose seemed to return to the present. She yanked her hand out of his and held it protectively to her chest. He'd reached her old self for those few seconds but now she was gone, back behind the wall of rage and hurt.

"Goodbye Doctor," she said harshly. "The next time you see this face, it will be Bad Wolf talking to you."

The Doctor jackknifed into a sitting position. He felt the burn of the hand print on his chest. But also felt the warmth of Rose's hand still lingering. Maybe there was hope that the Rose he knew and loved was still in there after all.

* * *

Rose woke, furious with herself. She had opened up. She had shown her vulnerability. She had vowed she would not do that. But she had and there was no erasing that mistake. But she could move forward. It was time to move on and there was only one way to do that.

"Let's do this," she said to the wolf laying at her side.

Bad Wolf nodded. _Yes._

The wolf dissolved and Rose allowed Bad Wolf to have control again.

"It is time," Bad Wolf announced and walked down the hallway towards the cell that held the Doctor and the Valeyard.

They would pay. They would feel the wrath of the Wolf.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Warp Hotel is from the short story "Hero Factor."


	30. Chapter 30

Two hours, seven minutes, and twenty-three seconds after the Doctor woke from his dream with Rose, the cell was plunged back into darkness. He heard the Valeyard curse but the Doctor just tensed. Something was going to happen. Bad Wolf was setting the stage.

Their cell doors opened and bright, white light spilled into the room. The Doctor squinted in that direction. The lights had been off just long enough to make their eyes hurt from the brightness. Clever. It wasn't too painful but it did burn.

The Valeyard hesitated for a moment and stood. The Doctor was reluctant to follow but when he felt a gentle push on his back, he knew that he'd better follow. He had a feeling Bad Wolf would drag him kicking and screaming with no problem at all.

They stepped out of their cells and into a brightly lit, plain white room. As soon as the two men had crossed the threshold, their cell doors slammed shut behind them and melted into the wall. They were trapped. The Doctor could feel the Valeyard's impatience and it was beginning to affect him. He'd been waiting for this moment for a long time now. He just wanted it to be done and over with. Still, he would not break the silence. In the end, either the Valeyard or Bad Wolf would be the first to speak.

In a flash of gold light, Bad Wolf appeared. The Doctor knew it was Bad Wolf instantly. He could see it in her eyes. Rose had been angry but there has also been pain. Bad Wolf simply radiated rage.

"So sorry to make you wait. I was a bit busy. I trust you enjoyed your night at Bad Wolf Motel." She smiled, a cruel gleam in her eyes.

"Rose. Please, what is going on? What are you doing?"

"I'm sorry. I thought it was pretty obvious what I was doing," Bad Wolf said with a concerned tone. The Doctor didn't believe that tone at all. She was leading the Valeyard into a trap. How the man could not see he was talking to Bad Wolf and not Rose was a mystery to the Doctor.

"I know you're angry. I'm sorry for what I made you do. And I forgive you for injuring me."

Bad Wolf approached the Valeyard with concern and worry written on her face. He didn't seem to see the calculated look in her eyes. The Doctor did but he refrained from commenting. Let the Valeyard fall for her tricks. He deserved every one of them. The only thing that had kept him from attacking the Valeyard when they first laid eyes on each other was the bars that prevented him from crossing the room. He would gladly attack him now but he was wary of Bad Wolf. There was no telling what she would do.

"You forgive me?" Bad Wolf asked, resting her palm against the Valeyard's cheek. "Are you truly sorry?"

"Yes."

"I don't believe you." She shoved the Valeyard and he went flying. His back hit the wall with a loud thud and he slid down to the floor. The aura that always surrounded Bad Wolf grew brighter and hotter. Heat poured from her, kissing the Doctor's skin. The Valeyard was getting the full blast of it. Sweat beaded on his brow as fear filled his eyes.

"You are _not_ sorry. I'm not an idiot. Rose does not regret giving you that injury. In fact, she was proud of it. Anger does not even begin to describe the feelings that boil within us at the very sight of you."

"You're not Rose."

"Give the man a medal. It seems you have a brain in that thick skull of yours."

She leveled her powerful gaze on the Doctor. He winced as heat blasted him but he did not move. He didn't wish to anger her any more. Rose had said that Bad Wolf's rage would be immense. He truly hadn't understood her words until that particular moment. Her rage, her fury, ran deep within her soul. Bad Wolf was created because of Rose's love for the Doctor. It made sense that Rose's emotions would influence Bad Wolf. After all, Bad Wolf was a protective being.

"Both of you will know the pain that Rose went through. Let's have a little preview, shall we?"

She waved her hand and the white room around them dissolved. Suddenly they were in a large forest with rain beating down on them. Rose was huddled under a tree, her arms around her legs, trying to keep warm in the coldness of their surroundings.

Rose looked painfully cold. What surprised the Doctor was that he could physically feel the cold himself. He could feel the shivers that wracked Rose's body. Bad Wolf said she would show them Rose's pain. She was making them live the experience. Then the backstory of the situation before him unfolded in his mind. Suddenly he was Rose.

_She was exhausted but she couldn't sleep. Fear and cold kept her awake. The ground and surrounding vegetation was too wet to start a fire. She pulled out the burner phone she had purchased and looked at the only text message the phone had received._

_**HELP** _

_It was from the only number programmed into the phone, the number to the phone she'd given to her mother for an emergency situation. Rose had told her family not to contact her unless it was life or death. Those four letters obviously meant it was a serious situation. As soon as she'd received that message, she'd packed her meager supplies and began to make her way back to London. She'd stolen a car in some small town and driven until the tank had run dry. She was currently in some forest in Ireland. The problem was crossing the Irish Sea. Getting on a boat or plane was dangerous. Her first trip had been beyond nerve-wracking. She'd been terrified that someone would recognize her. Thankfully there had been no spies on that particular flight but risking it again was not something she wanted to do. But she would risk it for her family. She would do anything for them._

_The sound of rain was interrupted by voices and the stomping of boots. The light of a torch blinded her. Before she could run, she was grabbed by two men. Her phone fell from her grip as she struggled and fought against the men who'd grabbed her._

" _Let me go, you bastards! Get your bloody hands off me!" Rose screamed at them. Adrenaline rushed through her body but lack of proper nutrition and the fact that the Valeyard's agents were stronger than the average man meant she had no chance of breaking free. None of that mattered. She would not go without a fight._

_They dragged her through the forest until they came to a clearing. There she saw many SUVs and a white van. The back doors opened and she could see a man in a white coat step out. Two other agents removed a stretcher from the back and began to prepare the straps._

_No. She couldn't go back to Torchwood, to Him. No. She had to help her family. No. No. No!_

_The White Coat pulled a syringe and a bottle of liquid from a pocket and began to fill it. A sedative. Rose fought even harder. She'd successfully stayed hidden for a year now. It was only because of the text -_

_Fuck. It had been a trap. Fear for her family skyrocketed. What had the Valeyard done to them? How had he found out about the phone?_

" _This will hurt a little," the man in the coat said coolly._

" _No! Please don't do this. Please! Don't take me back." Her words fell on deaf ears. The man stuck the needle in her upper arm and emptied the contents of the syringe into her body. Seconds later she felt her body grow heavy. She no longer had control of it. She tried to fight but darkness was coming for her._

_The two men put her on the stretcher. She felt straps being tightened across her body. It was over. He'd found her. There was no escape._

" _No…" she whispered as the darkness grabbed her with its col fingers and took her under._

The scene around them faded and they were back in the white room. The Valeyard was still on the floor, Bad Wolf was still glowing, and the Doctor was filled with a strong urge to throttle the Valeyard. Rose...she'd been so alone and so frightened and the Doctor had been unable to help her. But how could he have known? How could he have predicted that his clone would become the Valeyard, the very darkest part of the Doctor?

"You should have known. Or, instead of leaping to conclusions, you could have thought about your plan a little more than you did. Rose risked everything jumping through the Void, saved the entire universe, just to come back to you and the first chance you get, you leave her back in the parallel world." Bad Wolf told the Doctor.

"What?" the Doctor said in surprise. Was she telepathic?

"Yes. Your thoughts are not safe in this room."

"I wanted Rose to have a good life. I wanted her to grow old with the man she loved. I wanted her to still be with her family. I didn't know that you were still part of her. I didn't know what _he_ would become." The Doctor looked to the Valeyard, now standing with his back to the wall.

"But you didn't ask what she wanted. You only thought of yourself. You didn't want to see her wither away. I get that you didn't know about me, but you never even bothered to ask her opinion about staying. You didn't bother to take her feelings into account. You were selfish, as you always are; impulsive and selfish."

The Doctor had no words. She was right. He had run, like he always did. He'd hurt so many people. He'd wanted to help her, but in the end he'd destroyed her.

"Now you see it. Feel that guilt Doctor. That guilt you have from killing you kind. The guilt from leaving everyone behind in the end. You are alone. You will always be alone. And you will always run. But right now, there is no running. You will sit here and feel everything that you hide from. This is your punishment. There is no hiding now."

Pain, unimaginable pain, tore through his hearts. Tears burned behind his eyes. He rarely cried. He couldn't cry. He wasn't a child who could hide from everything that scared him. And he couldn't run now.

Looking pleased, Bad Wolf turned to the Valeyard. "As for you, it's time you experience your _loving_ care of Rose during her imprisonment."

She waved her hand and once again the white room disappeared. Instead they were in what looked to be a hospital room. Rose was strapped to a metal table, her arms spread. She was completely naked with a thin sheet covering the lower half of the body. Lines had been traced on her chest. A different man in a white coat snapped on a pair of gloves with the Valeyard watching behind him. He looked down at Rose. It was obvious he was enjoying this.

"You will feel everything that happens in this moment. You will feel every cut, every stitch, everything. Unfortunately for you, you don't get to die in the end," Bad Wolf told the Valeyard. He was on the ground, flat on his back, pinned down by an invisible force. He was in the same position as Rose. "Watch, Doctor. See what was done to her."

_The man held the scalpel an inch above her skin. The Valeyard looked down at her. He couldn't quite hide his smile. The smile didn't fade as the blade slide from her neck to her navel. Rose screamed in agony. On the floor, the Valeyard screamed as well. He could feel the pain but there were no signs of the cut on his body._

" _Nothing seems abnormal in here," the man said. They ignored another scream of pain as he pulled out her liver. "Her pain tolerance is within the norms as well. However, it seems like her body is trying not to die even as I continue to work."_

_As he spoke, he removed her stomach, her gallbladder, and her spleen. Rose continued to scream. The Doctor couldn't feel the physical pain but he could feel her emotions. Her thoughts raced, fear held her in its grasp. She prayed for the darkness to take her under. Her throat hurt from all the screaming._

_A sickening sound of bone breaking cracked through the room. Her chest had just been split open. The man put in a rib spreader and cranked it open to reveal her beating heart. The Valeyard stepped forward, thrust his hand into Rose's open chest and pulled out her heart. He placed it in the bin with the rest of her internal organs. Her screams cut out suddenly. She'd died._

_Then, they watched as her body started to glow. The glow grew brighter and encircled her entire body. Everyone stepped back, squinting, trying to see through the bright light. When it finally faded, Rose was once again on the table, naked and unconscious. There wasn't a single sign of injury on her._

The room disappeared, replaced by the white room again. The Valeyard was on the floor, clutching his chest, checking that his body was still intact. Bad Wolf looked down at him fiercely. Her anger was palpable. As for the Doctor, only horror filled him. He was stunned to the core. Sure, he'd known what the Valeyard had done, but seeing it was an entirely different matter.

"Are you ready for more?" Bad Wolf asked.

"No! Please don't make me do that again," the Valeyard pleaded.

The Doctor simply had no words.

"Too bad. You will see every single thing that was done to Rose. You will feel it all. Every. Single. Thing. If it pushes you to madness, then so be it. Maybe you will finally understand the horrors you put her through."

For the first time, the Doctor could see true terror and panic written on the Valeyard's face.


	31. Chapter 31

The torture continued. While the Valeyard felt the physical pain, the Doctor was flooded with Rose's emotional pain. It was terrible to experience. Her thoughts flooded into his mind; her pain was his pain. On top of all that, he felt so much guilt for what he had caused. Of course he'd had no idea what would happen but it didn't make it any better. These feelings would be seared onto his hearts forever.

There were occasional breaks. Bad Wolf would tire of the Valeyard's screams and would take her leave. That's when the cell doors would appear and they would be forced back inside them. The Doctor ignored the Valeyard during these times. While the Valeyard screamed and raged and pleaded, the Doctor simply sat on the thin mattress absorbed in his thoughts. Rose's plight weighed heavily on him. How could this have happened? Why did it go so wrong? Where did it go so wrong? Everything he'd done, he'd done so Rose could be happy. All he ever wanted was for her to be happy. But seeing the things the Valeyard had done to her...how could Rose ever forgive him?

After their second break, the Doctor watched as lighter fluid was poured on Rose's body then set alight with a match. She screamed and the Valeyard screamed as the fire scorched her skin. It greedily ate at the fluid and Rose's flesh. Rose's thoughts only focused on the pain; the unimaginable pain. She was panicking, unable to run, her wrists in thick cuffs attached to the chain hanging from the ceiling.

_Kill me! Just let me die! Just let me die and stay dead._

Tears poured down the Doctor's cheeks. He was on the floor, his arm stretched towards the phantom memory. So. Much. Suffering. She'd gone through so much and he hadn't been there. He hadn't been there to save her. He would never forgive himself. It was his fault, all his fault, that Rose had endured this.

After the fire came the rack. Her arms were chained to one end of the frame while her feet were secured to the roller at the other end. Little by little, the Valeyard's agents would increase the tension at his command. The Doctor didn't think he would ever get the sound of Rose's joints, cartilage, and bones breaking out of his mind. She'd passed out a few times but the Valeyard would simply wait for her to wake or shoot adrenaline straight into her heart. In the end her heart failed. That was a mercy at the end of that particular session.

It was worse when she'd stopped dying. Her fight was slowing dying. Her hope was fading with each passing moment. The Valeyard's words started to demand her attention.

_You can end this. Just say the word and it will end._

She'd heard them every day. It became more tempting each time she was returned to her cell. Of course it was tempting. Who wouldn't be tempted by such things after enduring so much? But Rose had lasted much longer than the Doctor would have expected of any human. She'd fought and each time there was a small part of her mind that focused on the Valeyard's continued frustration of her refusals. The Doctor felt so proud of her resistance but he dreaded seeing the moment when she would give in.

Rose was lying flat on the operating table once more, strapped down by metal cuffs around her ankles, knees, hips, wrists, elbows, and neck. She strained against her bonds but the metal wouldn't budge. She was far too skinny. She had little muscle mass. It hurt to look at her. When the Valeyard walked into the room, he made a hand motion and the head of the table rose until it was in an almost vertical position. The cuffs cut into Rose's skin now that gravity had taken hold. She was having a hard time breathing with the cuff around her neck. The Valeyard sighed at her struggle and removed the cuff from her neck. She simply glared at him. Anger and fear warred within her. She was always angry and scared. The fear was getting the better of her.

_I won't last much longer._

Her thoughts whispered across the Doctor's mind. He could see it too. Her eyes gave her away. He was sure the Valeyard could see it as well.

That particular session was a simple but brutal beating. The punches and kicks were precise. The Valeyard hadn't wanted too many bones broken. It annoyed him to wait more than a few days for her to heal.

_I want to die. Someone save me. Doctor...save me._

Thoughts like that tore at him more than all the others. He wanted to shout that he was there but there was no point. He hadn't been there. He'd been free, traveling the universe, enjoying himself while Rose here, praying for a savior that would never come.

A whip cracked through the air, repeatedly strike Rose. When she had reached her limit, the Valeyard released her. Rose fell to the ground; the entire back of her body was covered in whip marks. There was still determination in her. It was so small, so fragile.

_I can't do this anymore. The Valeyard said I could stop this. I know that he will stop if I ask. He can save me._

The scene faded when the Valeyard began to drag her from the room.

Bad Wolf threw a ball of gold light at the Valeyard and he froze on his spot on the floor. She leveled her heavy gaze on the Doctor. He winced at the fury he still saw there. Her attention scalded him.

"After this session, the Valeyard put hallucinogens in her food. For three days he treated her like a queen. When she refused to give in to him after those three days, he tortured her one last time. It broke her. This was his moment of success."

The gold light that had covered the Valeyard disappeared. Once more they were in the room of horrors.

Rose didn't last long under the hot metal rods even if it was a minor torture compared to some of the others she'd been subjected to. It was to be expected though. She had been given a reprieve; how could she go back? Still, watching her give in, feeling her heartbreak as she promised her soul to the Valeyard was a terrible feeling.

" _Okay," she said in a cracked voice, "I'll do anything. Just get me out of here. Please."_

The scene faded again. Rose's crumpled form at the Valeyard's feet seemed to float before the Doctor's eyes. She had been so strong. But she wasn't strong enough. Any other human would have given in long before Rose had. But she was special. She always had been.

"After that the Valeyard bound her to him, making her unable to disobey a direct command from him," Bad Wolf said to the Doctor. She ignored the Valeyard as if he were nothing but a piece of trash on the ground. "He forced her to marry him. He forced her to say she loved him. Sometimes he'd force her to have sex with him. He made her believe she loved him. But then he made her to kill Jimmy Stone. That was the last straw. Bad Wolf broke through. Now he is at my mercy, as are you."

"There is nothing I can say that will express my sorrow, my regret, my everything. I'm sorry could never be enough. It won't ever be enough. But I am. I am so sorry."

Bad Wolf waved her hand. The cell doors appeared again. With a flick of her wrist, she threw the Valeyard into his cell. She allowed the Doctor the dignity to walk in of his own free will. Before the door closed he turned back to face the Wolf.

"I-"

"Save you apologies. Rose told you that already. I'd rest now. The grand finale is in a few hours." She wiggled her fingers and the door slammed shut.

* * *

The Valeyard lay on the mattress, feeling like he was dead. So how was his body still functional? He repeatedly had to touch different parts of his body to make sure he was still there. He was having a hard time accepting reality and memory. Was it a memory? It felt like memory. But it hadn't actually happened. He hadn't _really_ died multiple times. But his mind kept telling him that he had. He had to convince it to stop. He just had to figure out how.

How could Rose do this to him? How could she let Bad Wolf take control? Why the fuck didn't that bitch stop Bad Wolf? It was like she wanted him to undergo this torture. But she couldn't possibly want that. She loved him. She'd said so, even before he'd changed his name to Valeyard. No, this was Bad Wolf's fault. What had he ever done to Bad Wolf to cause this pain?

They both would pay in the end. He would regain control and they would pay. His love for Rose could only go so far. She needed to get back under control. She needed to learn her place once more. Then they could be together as they should be. He just needed a plan.

If only he could stop dying…

* * *

Rose stood in the console room, swaying slightly as she listened to the song of the TARDIS. She was happy with Bad Wolf's choice of punishment. Well…happy wasn't the right word. She approved. That was the word. Despite her approval, she had hidden away in another part of Bad Wolf's mind. She hadn't wanted to relive those moments. She hadn't wanted to hear the Valeyard's screams and pleas. So while Bad Wolf vented her rage on the Doctor and the Valeyard, Rose had spent time in good childhood memories and had gone back to Gallifrey to relax on the beautiful planet.

It didn't escape her notice that she continued to return to Gallifrey, alone and with the Doctor. One would think it was because she was dwelling on the good times with the Doctor and that the planet reminded her of him. It wasn't. She liked the planet for its beauty. There was so much to see, so much to explore. And there weren't any pesky Time Lords to interfere with her wanderings.

The sky and its suns were breathtaking. When the suns rose, their light touched the silver leaves of the trees and the world looked like it was on fire. What the Doctor had said about the planet was true. It was truly the Shining World of the Seven Systems. She'd gone into the Citadel and climbed to the highest point she could find. From there she could see mountains that went on for eternity; their slopes covered in a deep red grass, most topped with untouched snow. Rose wanted to climb each one. She wanted to roll down the hills, make snow-angels, and do anything and everything a child would do. She could be a child here with no one to judge her.

Then Bad Wolf had told her it was time to return. So she'd taken control of her body once more and wandered into the console room. Bad Wolf had summarized the events of the time she'd spent with the two men in the white room. She was pleased that the Valeyard had suffered so much. He had felt every damn thing he'd done to her. Had he gone mad? Had he broken as she had? She certainly hoped so.

The Doctor's face swam to the front of her mind. He'd felt her pain, he'd heard some of her thoughts; his expressions said as much. And he'd felt guilt. Bad Wolf had picked up on his thoughts. There was so much guilt. While witnessing her torture, he'd wanted to help. Of course he had. But there was nothing he could do and that helplessness hurt him as well.

Bad Wolf had a plan for the Doctor and the Valeyard that she'd pitched to Rose. In the end, it was Rose's decision on what to do with the two people who'd hurt her most. Bad Wolf would not take that from her. It weighed heavily on her. It was a big decision. But, if she were being honest with herself, she had dreamed of this ending for the Valeyard. It wasn't glamorous. It wasn't fun. But it would get the job done and the Valeyard would never be able to hurt her again.

But if she went through with this plan, what would it do to her?

She reached out for the TARDIS song once more and wrapped herself within it. The answer would come to her in the end. It always did. For the moment she just wanted to be alone with her TARDIS, taking comfort in the beautiful lullaby.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wasn't too fond of the 50th episode so I've reworked it. For me, the War Doctor didn't exist. The 8th Doctor is the one who fought in the War. It's very difficult to write with multiple Doctors so I labelled the past Doctors and kept the 11th Doctor as just "the Doctor."

The Doctor ended up falling asleep. To his surprise, he found himself back on Gallifrey in the Citadel of the Time Lords. Rose stood with her back to him, looking out the large window at the rolling mountains. Whenever Rose chose Gallifrey as their meeting place, the Doctor felt joy and sorrow at the same time. Oh, how he missed his home.

"How are you?" Rose asked with her back still to him.

He almost laughed. It was such an absurd question but he had a feeling Rose needed to talk. She needed something from him or she wouldn't have called him into the dream world she inhabited. It was such a human thing to do.

"I've been better," the Doctor told her. He didn't move from his spot. He wasn't sure what Rose wanted or needed and he didn't want to startle her.

"I'm sure. Bad Wolf did not go easy on the two of you." She paused for a few moments, seeming to gather her thoughts. "I am glad you were shown what happened to me though. It may make what happens next easier for you to understand."

"What's happening next?"

She ignored his question. "Do you regret it? Do you regret killing you people and destroying your world?"

The question was so unexpected. Sure, Rose knew all about the Time War and his part in it but she had never asked for details. She had never asked the deep questions. She never needed to. She had known his pain instinctively. She'd healed him in so many ways without even trying. A smile from her would light up any room she was in; at least in the Doctor's eyes.

So why was she asking him now?

"I regret that people died. I regret that innocents who perished. But I don't regret that I ended the war. I don't regret that I stopped the Time Lords from destroying the universe," he said.

"What happened?"

"Rassilon wanted to initiate the Final Sanction to win the Last Great Time War. He was going to create a paradox so severe that it would rip apart the Time Vortex. He wanted the Time Lords to become beings of consciousness only while the rest of creation ceased to exist. I had to stop it. I was the only one who could. So I used the Moment. It's known as the Galaxy Eater, capable of destroying galaxies in a single moment, hence the name. It was a weapon created by the Ancients of Gallifrey and was so powerful that it developed a conscience. The Moment's punishment for me was my survival. I have to live with the knowledge that I committed genocide and the guilt that comes along with it."

The Doctor paused, remembering something from that time, "Funnily enough, the interface chose to appear as Bad Wolf. Of course, I was in my Eighth form at the time so I didn't know who you were. The Moment must have suppressed my memories of you so that we could meet in my future without issue. I regenerated right after I activated it. I was saved but my home was destroyed. I met you not long after that."

Rose turned and faced him. Her entire being was focused on him. "Something else happened. Your timeline looks odd," she squinted at him, looking at something he could not see. "You overlapped your personal timeline. Tsk tsk, Doctor. That's very dangerous."

"You can read my timeline that easily?" he asked. He'd known she could see timelines when she chose to. What surprised him was how easily she could read his.

"Yes. I don't like yours though. It's too complicated and headache inducing. But I needed to know. Now, tell me what happened."

The Doctor sighed and took a step towards her. She stiffened slightly but did not make any objections. The gold wolf appeared by her side, immediately called into being to comfort Rose. When she placed a hand on the wolf's head, she relaxed. Rose was afraid of something but she wasn't going to share it with the Doctor.

"I will show you if you like," he held out his hands, waiting for her to grab them with her own. When she did, he guided them to his head, placing her fingers right against his temples. "This will not be easy to see."

"Doctor, I've seen and experienced my fair share of horrors. I just need to know one more thing and I think only you can give me an answer," Rose said softly, a small amount of chastisement in her voice.

"Okay, follow me." He closed his eyes and lead her through his mind to the door that held the worst memory of his life. He paused for a moment before opening it and stepping through with Rose at his side.

_They were in an empty shack. In the middle of the room stood a contraption. The box that had looked like it was full of gears had transformed into a box-looking station with blood red ruby button on the stalk. The Eighth Doctor stood in front of the weapon, his hand gently resting on the ruby that was the detonator for the Moment._

_To his surprise, three TARDIS's began to materialize in the shack. The Doctor, and his Ninth and Tenth self each stepped out._

" _These events should be time locked. We shouldn't even be here," the Tenth Doctor said._

" _So something let us through," the Doctor said. He knew who it had allowed it. His memories of this point in his timeline restored. A powerful weapon such as the Moment would have no trouble opening a time lock._

_The three Doctors joined the Eighth Doctor, each placing their hand on the ruby button._

" _This time you don't have to do it alone," the Doctor told the Eighth Doctor._

" _What we do today is not out of fear or hatred. It is done because there is no other way," the Tenth Doctor stated._

" _And it is done in the name of the many lives we are failing to save," the Ninth Doctor added._

_Clara stepped forward, tears running down her cheeks. There was a look of great sadness and some horror written across her face. Her emotional state was always so easy to read._

" _What? What is it? What?" the Doctor asked._

_Clara shook her head, "It's nothing…"_

_An annoyed grunt came from the Ninth Doctor. "Spit it out girl," he growled._

_The Doctor shot a glare at his younger self before turning his attention back to Clara. "It's something. Tell me."_

" _You told me you wiped out your own people. I just...I never pictured you doing it, that's all."_

" _There isn't anything we can do," the Tenth Doctor told her._

" _He's right. There isn't another way, there never was. Either I destroy my own people or let the universe burn," the Doctor added._

" _There has to be something. Anything."_

" _Do I seriously start travelling with whiny apes who try to change my mind all the time?" the Ninth Doctor asked, obviously pissed that Clara was interrupting their actions. "Go back to his TARDIS, girl. This doesn't concern you."_

_The Tenth Doctor looked at the Ninth. "You haven't met Rose yet, have you?"_

" _Rose?" the Eighth and Ninth Doctor said together._

" _I thought not." A look of great sadness spread across his face. "You will. You will meet her very soon. She will change your life."_

" _Can we move this along?" the Eighth Doctor asked. "I can't wait much longer. I will do it alone as I had planned. You three aren't even supposed to be here."_

" _Doctor, please. Please think about this. You've spent all these years mourning their loss. There has to be something," Clara implored._

_The Doctor shook his head, "They're right. Go back to the TARDIS, Clara. This is not your war. These are not your people. This is not your planet. I made this decision once before. I am choosing to make it again. Go into the TARDIS and do not come out."_

_Clara hesitated for another second before finally conceding. The Eighth Doctor looked at his older selves and nodded. "We won't remember this. We won't remember doing this until much later."_

" _Correct," the Doctor said. "But I remember now. I know now that I did not make this choice lightly and I am making this choice again."_

_3...2...1…_

The Doctor and Rose returned to the present, both gasping for breath. The Doctor felt the crushing guilt and pain once more. He quickly closed the door in his mind and locked it. The memories were there but he would not be forced to relive them except when they crept into his nightmares.

Rose was on the floor, sitting on her heels. She looked down at her hands, seeing something the Doctor could not.

"Pain and guilt and regret. Those are heavy emotions you must bear. It's why you travel. It's why you run. I understand."

She was looking him while she spoke but she was actually talking to herself. The Doctor could see that. What must she think of him now? She probably thought he was a monster. He wouldn't blame her.

"You do what is right, not what is easy," she continued. "And even if it is right, there are painful consequences. I understand now. I understand."

"What do you understand, Rose? What are you talking about?"

Her words alarmed him. Should he have shown her that memory? What was she planning on doing now? Had he made things better or had he made them so much worse?

"I understand you. Well, more of you." She stood and looked him in the eye. "Thank you for sharing that with me. I needed to know."

"Rose," the Doctor said again, "Why did you want to see that?"

"I needed help deciding something. You helped."

"Please don't do anything rash. Don't do anything you will regret for the rest of your life!" he pleaded.

"I have not been rash for a very long time now. As for the regret, we shall see when the time comes." She sighed her turned to face the window again. "Go back to sleep, Doctor. I will not call you here again."

The Doctor tried to reach out to her, tried to shout another warning, but it was too late. He was back in his cell. Reality hit him like a hammer. What had Rose decided? Fear clutched at him. It was not fear for himself. It was fear for her, for Rose. Whatever she was planning weighed heavily on her heart. He only hoped it did not destroy her soul in the end.

* * *

Rose sat in the kitchen with a cup of tea, just like her mother used to make. She missed Jackie Tyler so much. She missed Pete and his calm manner. She especially missed little Tony. He had been so young. He hadn't gotten a chance to live. At least he escaped a life of pain. The world had been huge and exciting for him. He never had to experience its pain and anguish.

There. Silver lining.

There were too few silver linings these days. All the clouds in her world were black, black, black. The sun never shone through. Its glow never could pierce the inky clouds. So the world had remained black for Rose Tyler. Only when Bad Wolf had first made her appearance had light reentered the world. But only so much light could break through. Even now, free of Valeyard and his tortures, there was no sign of the darkness leaving. Her pain ran too deep. Would she ever heal?

Bad Wolf appeared in her human form and sat across from Rose. It was like looking into a mirror. There were small differences though. Bad Wolf had a hardened expression. Her features were sharper and the glow around her never really dissipated. Her gaze could scald you. But that gaze was never directed towards Rose. Bad Wolf only held contempt for any who would harm Rose. She felt so safe with Bad Wolf in her presence. It was a precious feeling.

"So, have you decided?" Bad Wolf asked.

"Yes. I think your idea is a good one. We can do the first step together but I need to do the second on my own. I need that one thing," Rose said.

Bad Wolf nodded. "I agree. I would not deprive you of that opportunity. And the Doctor?"

"He'll move on with his TARDIS. He'll continue to run and save the universe. He is needed for that."

"Yes. The universe needs him. He has been gone long enough."

Rose took another sip of her tea and then placed the cup on the wood table. She couldn't finish it. Her stomach would not settle. Her nerves were getting the better of her. Only when Bad Wolf came to her side and took her hand did she feel calmer. Bad Wolf, her protector, her defender, her guardian.

* * *

They were back in the white room. The Valeyard was pinned to the wall with the Doctor about a foot away. Neither man could move. Rose and Bad Wolf were standing in front of them; Bad Wolf stood before the Valeyard, Rose faced the Doctor. It was scary seeing both in a human form. Something big was going to happen and the Valeyard and the Doctor would not like it one bit.

"The time has come for this little get together to end. There is one last thing we must do however." Bad Wolf met the gaze of each man. "This is going to hurt."

"What are you going to do?" the Doctor asked.

"Please, no more pain," the Valeyard added.

"Don't worry, Valeyard. The pain will end soon enough," Rose told him.

A shiver of fear ran down the Doctor's spine. There was something about Rose's tone of voice that unnerved him. This was it. This was the moment Rose had been talking about. There was nothing he could do to stop her now. He was powerless. His words would do nothing to dissuade her from the path she had chosen.

Bad Wolf stepped in front of the Valeyard and placed her right hand on the center of his chest. Rose took Bad Wolf's free hand and then place her left hand on the Doctor's chest. Both women began to glow. The light was so bright it hurt to look at. The heat radiated from them like a sun. When the Valeyard began to scream, the Doctor looked at him. What looked like regeneration energy was being pulled from the Valeyard's body. The energy formed a ball in Bad Wolf's hand. The ball grew and the Valeyard's screams grew louder. The Doctor watched in fascinated horror. When Bad Wolf finally pulled away, the regeneration energy was the size of cantaloupe. The Valeyard slumped against his invisible bonds, completely drained of energy.

Bad Wolf moved to stand before the Doctor. "This is going to hurt. You're going to have to assimilate this regeneration energy into your body. It's different than your natural abilities. This comes from me and the Vortex. Do you understand?"

The Doctor nodded, unable to speak. She was giving him the Valeyard's regenerations? Why? How many would he have now? What would happen if he couldn't assimilate it? Another spike of fear hit him but he pushed it away. He needed to concentrate.

Bad Wolf pressed the sphere into his chest, keeping her palm resting there next to Rose's. The energy felt like a punch to the gut. It burned. Fire scorched its way through his blood. His hearts beat rapidly against his sternum. It took everything in him not to reject this foreign energy. It felt like a poison that was eating him from inside.

The pain lessened and he realized that Rose and Bad Wolf were trying to siphon the worst of it so he could concentrate. Rose's mental shields broke under the pressure and he heard her mental screams of pain. She was doing this for him. She was giving him a gift even after everything she'd been through. She was taking his pain despite the immense pain she'd already experienced. It was enough to motivate him into forcing his body to obey his commands.

Slowly the fire lessened. His cells began to assimilate the new energy. Rose's screaming stopped when he pulled it into himself. He wasn't sure how long it took but eventually the fire was gone, his body temperature returned to normal, his hearts beating slowed to their normal pace. The hands on his chest fell away. He looked at Rose and Bad Wolf. Rose looked tired and pale. He couldn't read Bad Wolf's expression.

"Are you okay, Rose?" he asked in a hoarse voice.

"Yes. Are you?"

"I'm fine now." He shook his head, trying to clear the last remnants of pain. The bonds that had pinned him to the wall disappeared suddenly and he stumbled but managed to stay on his feet. When he looked up again, Bad Wolf's gaze burned him.

"Do not interfere or you will be restrained again," she told him in a threatening tone before turning to look at Rose standing before the Valeyard.

Rose looked at the Valeyard, trying to sort through all that she was feeling. So many emotions flooded through her. She needed to not feel at the moment. She needed a clear mind so she could concentrate on the task at hand. She only spoke when the Valeyard was finally able to look at her fully.

"You are truly mortal now. All that was Time Lord in you is gone. You are a human with a single heart," she told him.

"Why did you do this to me? Don't you love me?" he asked in a whisper.

"I did once. I loved you in the beginning when you were the Doctor. Then you changed. And you changed me. You tricked me into thinking I loved you. But I have never loved you, Valeyard. I have only ever loved the Doctor. You are not the Doctor," Rose explained. She did not censor her words. She didn't even think before they poured from her mouth. She was finally speaking from the heart.

"But I love you. I only did this for you."

"I believe that you believe that. But your love for me is twisted by greed and the need for control. There is a darkness in you that I cannot purge. That darkness cannot exist in this universe."

"Rose! No!" the Doctor exclaimed. Now he understood what she was going to do. He had to stop her. He took a step towards her but Bad Wolf blocked his way.

"Do not interfere," Bad Wolf said menacingly.

"Rose, please don't do this. You do not want this death on your conscious. You do not want this mark on your soul."

"Shut up, Doctor. I already have a black mark on my soul. I've murdered directly and indirectly. I will forever have that stain. But this is a death I will not regret. I can live with it," Rose told him before turning her attention back to the Valeyard.

"Please, forgive me. I don't want to die. I love you"

"I know," Rose repeated. "And that is why your death will not be painful."

She held out her hand and poured the Time Vortex into every cell. His cells separated and he turned to dust. She sent that dust into the Vortex as a tear slid down her cheek.

"Goodbye, Valeyard. You and I are free," Rose whispered before her vision faded and the sweet bliss of darkness embraced her.


	33. Chapter 33

The Doctor moved to catch Rose as she fell but Bad Wolf got there first. She easily lifted Rose's limp form into her arms.

"Stay here. I will be back," Bad Wolf said before disappearing in a flash of gold.

While he was concerned about Rose, the Doctor also had many things to think about. For one, his body was jumpy. It was still trying to settle after the assault. His brain wouldn't slow down. It continued to show him Rose and Bad Wolf removing the Valeyard's regenerations, then them giving the regenerations to him, and finally Rose taking the Valeyard's life. He was having a hard time accepting that his Rose Tyler could do that. But she wasn't his anymore. She wasn't the Rose he used to know.

With another flash of gold, Bad Wolf reappeared. In that moment the Doctor realized he was afraid of her. Bad Wolf had the power of a Goddess and she'd proved it. She could do whatever she wanted to him. Her expression did not ease his fear. How anyone could not see that this was Bad Wolf and not Rose was beyond him.

"There's no need to be afraid. I will not harm you."

Right. His thoughts weren't safe in this room. They probably weren't safe in this TARDIS.

"How's Rose?" he asked.

"She's sleeping," Bad Wolf said simply. "You are free to roam the TARDIS. However, if you try to open a locked door, you will find an unpleasant surprise. Do not attempt to leave the TARDIS. She will not let you and I will be forced to restrain you."

Bad Wolf nodded towards the wall behind the Doctor. He turned to find that a doorway had appeared. When he tried to speak to Bad Wolf again, he found that she had disappeared once more. With a sigh, he made his way out.

The first door he came to was locked. Curiosity overcame him. It was foolish to try it but he had to know what would happen. He took out his sonic screwdriver and pointed it at the lock. There was a satisfying click as the deadbolt was pulled back. That was too easy. Sensing that he would regret it, he placed his hand on the doorknob and turned it.

A painful burst of electricity flowed from the doorknob into his hand. He let out a yelp of pain and surprise before leaping back. The door swung open to an empty room. Inside sat a gold wolf. She looked very smug. Of course she'd known he would test her rules. The Doctor gave Bad Wolf a respectful nod before turning away. If he tried that again, the defenses would be stronger and he would not escape with just a stinging palm.

It didn't take him long to find the kitchen. The TARDIS must have known that he was hungry because she led him right to it. While the kettle heated, he stuck a tray full of fish fingers in the oven and began to prepare some custard.

He was afraid for Rose. What she had done had taken a lot out of her. He had seen that. But what it would do to her emotionally was his biggest concern. He wanted to be there to comfort her. He wanted to tell her that he understood what she was going through. But she wouldn't allow that. She wouldn't want that.

Rose said she'd killed before. He had a feeling that killings were not her choice. It just wasn't in Rose to easily take a life. Then again, many things happen to a person after being subjected to the kinds of horrors Rose had experienced. He understood her need to rid the universe of the Valeyard. A part of him, a large part in fact, was jealous. He'd wanted to take the Valeyard's life. He'd brought the man into the universe and he'd wanted to take him back out. If Rose had not killed him, he would have stepped up and taken care of it.

How was she doing? How was she holding up with this new burden? The question just kept repeating over and over.

The piercing whistle of the tea kettle jerked him from his preoccupied mind. With a long sigh, he took the kettle off the burner and continued to make his meal. Fish fingers and custard would certainly help a little bit, right?

* * *

Rose woke slowly. The last thing she remembered was the Valeyard turning to dust. Then a darkness had grasped her in its claws and dragged her away. She had drifted in a warm, golden haze for a little bit. She fought leaving that place. It was so warm, so comforting. But her consciousness refused to stay in the safety of that world. Instead, she was forced back into reality and all its pain and suffering.

She found herself tucked cozily under her covers, Bad Wolf, in her largest wolf form, pressed against her back. In her mind, the TARDIS sang to her. Both were a comfort but Rose felt a gaping hole in her heart, the wound weeping poison. Without warning, Rose began to cry as she had never cried before. The storm had been brewing within her for a long while and now it had finally broken free.

Memories flashed before her as salty tears rolled down her cheeks. It wasn't just memories from her time with the Valeyard. Memories from her entire life slammed into her. Children teasing her for living in the Estate. Being called a chav constantly. Arguing with her mother over Jimmy before finally quitting school and moving in with him. Taking the abuse from him for so long before she managed to get up the courage to leave and go crawling back home. Finally living for the first time with the Doctor until the tragic events in Torchwood Tower. Working so hard to get back to the Prime universe so she could be with the Doctor again. Being left on the beach with the man who would become the Valeyard. Finally hearing the three words she had longed to hear for so many years. Watching the Doctor slowly transform into the Valeyard. Running for her life, constantly looking over her shoulder for her enemy. Worrying about her family. Getting caught. Enduring the torture. Seeing her family die. Giving in to the Valeyard's demands. Allowing herself to be controlled by him. Seeing all the timelines for those who worked in Torchwood disappear because the Valeyard had killed them; because of her. Living in constant fear.

Being forced to kill Jimmy Stone.

Hannah dying because she'd fought the Valeyard's command.

The Valeyard...dead by her hand.

Rose clutched onto Bad Wolf and sobbed into the warm fur. The TARDIS song and the Wolf's howl were trying to comfort her but there was nothing they could do. She had never truly allowed herself to feel these things in her life. Funny how the little things could still cause her so much hurt, all these years later.

More than anything at the moment, she wanted Jackie Tyler. She wanted her mother to hold her and rock her and tell her everything would be okay, even if they both knew it wasn't true.

Nausea boiled within her and she barely had time to make it to the toilet. The bile burned her throat but she welcomed that physical pain. It was something to ground her in reality. A soft whine came from behind her before she felt Bad Wolf press her cold nose to her ear. Rose let out a squeal and pushed the giant wolf away.

"Don't do that!"

Bad Wolf sneezed, obviously pleased with herself. Rose flushed, rinsed her mouth out in the sink, then sat down on the cold tile floor. She let out an exhausted sigh, weak from the emotional storm.

"What did you do with the Doctor?" she asked Bad Wolf.

_Left him to wander._ Bad Wolf replied.

_He's in the kitchen eating fish fingers and custard,_ the TARDIS added.

Rose wrinkled her nose in disgusted. "Fish fingers and custard? That's terrible."

_According to my sister, it's a favorite of this regeneration._

"Disgusting." Rose stood and went to the Jacuzzi. She needed a nice relaxing bath before deciding what she wanted to do next.

* * *

One delicious meal later, the Doctor had explored what he could of Rose's TARDIS. There were rooms that he'd been unable to enter. Not wanting to test Bad Wolf, he heeded the warning and left those doors alone. Eventually he found himself in the console room. He was itching to look at the underbelly of the room. To his delight, he found a ladder that gave him access. After inspecting everything, he began to tinker. There were always things that could be made better. There was a part he was trying to fix. It wasn't an important part but he thought it needed a little tweaking. Unfortunately to reach it, it required him to hang upside down with his knees curled over a bar. He had no place to put his sonic screwdriver so it ended up between his teeth.

That was how Rose found him.

"What are you doing?" she asked from behind him.

The Doctor jerked around, twisting his back a little too much causing him to cringe. He opened his mouth to respond and the screwdriver fell from his mouth and to the floor.

"Damn it."

Rose smiled and picked it up and handed it back to him. The Doctor felt the swooping feeling of relief flow through him. She was smiling. It was a genuine smile. He hadn't been sure she would ever be able to smile again.

"Thanks."

"So, what are you doing?" Rose repeated.

"Fixing this," the Doctor said, waving the part in his hand.

Rose cocked her head and looked up; then she smiled again. "The TARDIS says that there's nothing to fix. It was perfectly fine how it was."

He snorted. "I know best. I've been fixing my TARDIS for hundreds of years now."

"This TARDIS is brand new. I doubt there is anything that needs fixing. By the way, why didn't you use a step ladder?"

"There isn't one around here."

Rose walked to the ladder that lead up to the console. She then pressed a button on the wall next to it. A door slide open and inside the Doctor saw a beautiful tool room...that had plenty of ladders.

"I didn't know about that. I bet she didn't want me to know about it either."

He made another adjustment before deciding it was perfect and returned the little thing back to its place. Getting down was a challenge. His long legs and large feet didn't want to cooperate. He ignored Rose's laughs as he struggled to free himself. Finally, he was able to get down, actually managing to land on his feet.

Rose's face was serious now. The woman and the Time Lord stood facing each other, tension building between them. It was Rose who broke the silence.

"Follow me."

She climbed up the ladder, not bothering to wait for the Doctor as she continued out of the console room and down the corridor. It didn't take them long to get to their destination. Rose had led him to the library. It was a beautiful site. Shelves upon shelves of books filled the room. How had she collected all these books in such little time?

"Some of them are holograms," she explained. "I like the look of the old leather. Some are from the Valeyard's collection as well as Torchwood. I haven't had a chance to buy any copies for myself. But if I do want to read something, I can read it on my e-reader. The TARDIS has no problem downloading them for me"

"Impressive."

Rose nodded and continued walking. She was heading for the back of the room. She turned down the final aisle and walked for a decent length of time. At the end, metal shelving lined the wall, looking very out of place amongst the beauty of the wood. On each shelf were several three-ring binders. All of them had Rose's name on the spine.

"These are all of the Valeyard's findings. The ones in the beginning are consensual experiments. He had been the Doctor at the time. But after the first few, things are darker," Rose said mechanically.

"Why are you showing me this?" the Doctor asked hesitantly.

Rose waved her hand and the binders and shelves disappeared. The Doctor let out an audible gasp. The look on Rose's face made him feel guilty immediately after.

"I've sent all the files to your TARDIS. When you want to, you can read all about me. I know you're curious."

"What about you? Are you not curious?"

She shrugged. "I may be one day. I've archived everything. For now, I don't want to know anything. I honestly don't care."

Then she grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the library as fast as she could. She seemed to be running away from the binders even though they no longer existed in this library. The Doctor reveled in the feel of her hand in his. Did she realize that she was touching him? Had her instinct to reach for him taken over? He didn't care. He was just thrilled that he finally was able to touch her.

Once they were back in the corridor, she dropped his hand. He tried not to let his disappointment show on his face but it really did hurt to let go so soon. He followed her back to the console room. She pointed to the jump seat, wordlessly telling him to sit.

He watched in fascination as she circled the console, pressing buttons and pulling levers. She did not hesitate for a second. The familiar wheezing filled the room as the TARDIS took off and then landed again.

"Where are we?"

"In the cave where your TARDIS has been."

The Doctor stood, then hesitated. Was she letting him out?

"You can leave. I just want to say something."

"Of course."

"There are many things that happened to me while I was in that parallel world. I will eventually forgive you. Logically I know you could not have known what your meta-crisis would become. But that does not change my feelings on the matter. I went through hell and part of it is your fault. One day it will not hurt. One day I will not feel the gaping wound in my soul. But for now, this is who I am."

"I would apologize a million times if it would help. I will do anything for you. I do not blame your or Bad Wolf for the torture I went through. I'm glad of it actually. I'm glad I know. I understand."

"I know you are sorry but apologizing will do nothing. You and I both know that. Only time will tell. Only time can heal me."

The Doctor knew she was right. It hurt but he'd lived long enough to know how hard it was to heal. "What will you do now?"

"The Ood have invited me to stay here for a while. I may take them up on the offer. Then I'll probably travel."

"I put my TARDIS's phone number into your phone. You can call me any time. I will come."

"I don't need your number. I can call to your TARDIS's heart. Or pull you into a dream."

"Calling in polite thing to do," the Doctor said with a frown.

Rose laughed and once again he felt relief and happiness in his hearts. "We shall see." Then she opened the TARDIS doors and led the way out. As soon as he saw his TARDIS, he ran and hugged her.

"Hey old girl, how I've missed you."

"She says her name is Sexy," Rose told him with a raised brow.

The Doctor blushed. "Yeah, sometimes I call her that."

There was a scuffing of a foot in stone and an Ood rounded the corner. It was Ood Sigma.

"Your ship has been well tended. She has quite a beautiful song," he said.

The Doctor bowed to the Ood he was quite familiar with. "Thank you for taking care of her. I appreciate it."

"It was our pleasure," Ood Sigma said, returning the Doctor's bow. He then turned to Rose. "I shall wait here for you."

"Thanks," she replied with a nod.

With much excitement, the Doctor unlocked his TARDIS and walked into his beloved home. The cool interior felt wonderful on his skin and the soft melody of his TARDIS hummed in the back of his mind. It was such a great relief to be back in here.

"You changed the interior," Rose commented.

"I did."

"I don't like it."

The Doctor smiled at the comment. "It happened after I lost Amy and Rory. I was in a dark place. I'm sure you know all about my former companions."

"Yes. Your TARDIS and I had a nice long talk. I'm sorry how you lost them. At least Clara had a happy ending."

"Yes," he nodded happily. "She married Danny Pink. He wasn't a fan of me but I didn't hold that against him. The time just came when she had to move on with her life, like all my friends do."

Rose stepped forward and placed her hand on his forearm. It was a soft, comforting gesture. After everything, she was still so compassionate. How could that be possible? It was so very human of her.

"I'm not human, Doctor. Not anymore," Rose said softly. How did she know what he was thinking? Then it hit. His TARDIS. Of course. Silly ship, taking Rose's side.

"I don't know what you are exactly. But you, Rose Tyler, will always be human and you will always have a human heart," he told her, pressing his palm to her cheek. She leaned into it slightly. Her mind brushed lightly against his. He didn't think she realized that she was reaching out to him for that connection. With much trepidation, he reached out to her. She stiffened and pulled back slightly but she didn't disappear.

_It's okay_ , he whispered across her mind.

Rose let out a gasp. Images flashed before him. The Valeyard had forced her to connect mind to mind with him. No wonder she was afraid. Rage tore through him. He wanted to reach back in time and destroy the man himself.

_Shh_ , Rose replied, much to the Doctor's surprise. _He is gone._

"Doesn't make me feel any different," he grumbled. She simply smiled sadly. She understood, of course. There was something else he wanted to say. He'd been wanting to say it for so long but he had held back. But there were no more excuses. He could say it now.

"I love you, Rose Tyler."

Tears shimmered in her eyes. "I love you too." Then, something even more surprising happened. Rose stepped forward, stood on her toes, and pressed a soft kiss to his lips. She stepped back, blushing slightly but smiling softly.

"I'll see you around, Doctor."

"Wait! Rose. Please don't go yet," the Doctor pleaded, extending his hand towards her.

"This isn't goodbye. But I need to be alone for now and the Universe needs you. I've kept you away for too long. See you around." She gave him a small wave and stepped out. The Doctor went to follow her but the doors swung shut and the TARDIS immediately began to dematerialize.

"Damn you, Rose Tyler," he said but he couldn't help but smile. He would give her the time she needed. When she was ready, they would find each other; he knew this in his hearts.


	34. Chapter 34

As the TARDIS began to fade away, Rose heard the Doctor's voice via her telepathic connection with his ship.

"Damn you, Rose Tyler!"

He was going to try returning to the planet but his TARDIS wasn't going to land. Rose had made sure of that. The Doctor would not be able to visit while she was here. She'd set the location to random. Smiling slightly, she imagined him landing then trying to take off, cursing his head off and yelling at the TARDIS. No matter. It was time to take care of herself for a change.

Ood Sigma appeared and gave her a nod. "Please follow me. There is something that we believe will help you."

Curiosity took hold. What would help her at this point in time? Were the Ood already trying to help heal her heart and soul? If so, how? It seemed so impossible.

Sigma led her through winding tunnels. The cold temperature from the surface didn't pierce these natural walls as she would expect them to. Bright blue flames danced on the stone walls every few feet. It had to be a special fire because the heat that came from the flames warmed the tunnels much more effectively than a usual fire could.

The tunnel straightened and opened up into a massive cavern. Dozens of Ood sat around a very large normal-looking fire located in the center of the place. Some of them had communicator globes attached to their clothing. Others were natural Ood. It saddened her to see the two together. There was such a drastic difference between them. How much pain did the ones with the communicators feel? Did they feel more disconnected from the others of their species for being different?

"Do not be sad. Those of us who were slaves are once more connected with the Mind of the Ood. Our second brain may be gone but our bodies have adjusted. Those of us who were enslaved have adapted over the many years. We see no differences between us."

"You are an amazing species. I've never seen or felt such peace among any other creature I have met. I am honored that you have invited me to stay."

Happiness brushed her mind and she instantly knew it came from Sigma; emotions expressed telepathically but not invasively. She found peace in that. It wasn't the painful mind-rape of the Valeyard's. The Ood were a telepathic species but they also respected the boundaries of others.

Sigma led her to a break within the circle of sitting Oods and invited her to sit. When both of them were comfortable, the Elder began to speak.

"Rose Tyler. Bad Wolf. We want to help you in your journey towards healing. The wounds in your heart seep through the protective walls around you mind. We feel your pain. We ask that you share that pain so that we may sing it to the Universe."

The Ood around her clasped hands. Sigma took her right hand and another Ood took her left. She felt something brushing against her mind again but it was much stronger than Sigma's. She opened her mind to the presence and joined the Mind of the Ood. She was awed at what she saw, what she felt. It was indescribable.

"Sing with us, Rose," Sigma told her, giving her hand a gentle squeeze. "Let go of everything and sing."

So she did. She opened the floodgates and everything poured out. The Mind of the Ood took it in and they began to sing. It was a hauntingly beautiful song. Words formed and she felt the power within in. Mixed in with the Ood's voices was the howling of a wolf. She let everything out. She thought of everything that hurt, of everything that had happened, and she allowed her pain to become song.

Together with the Ood, she sang the Song of Sorrow to the Universe and every living creature in space and Time heard it.

Time stood still

* * *

Sarah Jane Smith woke because she was crying. Tears flowed freely from her eyes and she had no idea why. A painful pressure weighed on her chest as sorrow filled her soul. What in the world was going on? Why was she feeling like this?

She pulled the covers aside, stepped into her slippers, and quickly made her way to the attic. As she'd expected, Mr. Smith was awake and his systems were whirring away.

"What is it?" she asked in a panicked tone, quickly wiping away her tears.

Before Mr. Smith could answer, Luke showed up, his hair in disarray, his expression wild. He was feeling it too.

"There is a telepathic message being sent across the Universe."

"Play it."

An echoing melody filled the room. It was terrible and heart wrenching. Sarah Jane fought the tears and focused on the words.

_Hic sum. Audite me. Audi clamoribus. Sentire dolorem meum. Cantabunt mihi tristitia.  
_ _Ego sum Lupis. Audi vocem meam. Vos postulo ut sentire iram meam.  
_ _Cor contritum me. Tristis est anima mea inquinavi. Clamo ad auxilium.  
_ _Audire ad me, Universe. Cane lugubre mihi, Time. Nos cantare tristitiam meam._

"Translate please."

_Here I am. Listen to me. Hear the screams. Feel my agony. Sing my sorrow.  
_ _I am the Wolf. Hear my howl. You will feel my wrath.  
_ _My heart is broken. My soul is stained. I am crying for help.  
_ _Hear me Universe. Wail for me, Time. We sing my sorrow._

"End translation."

The song continued but she didn't want to hear what the words meant. She pulled Luke into a hug and just listened to the song that played through the room. For some reason she thought of Rose Tyler but she didn't know why. It didn't matter. Whoever was sending this song out to the universe was in unimaginable pain and Sarah Jane was going to stand witness.

* * *

Dr. Martha Smith placed a plate on the table and went to go get the mugs of coffee. Mickey continued to pack their son's lunch. Matthew was six-years-old and was very excited to go to his first day of the new school year. Martha listened to her husband explained U.N.I.T.'s new firewall that he was trying to hack. He would get it eventually. He always did. Then they would come and reprimand him and they'd tell him to never do it again. That was like telling the Doctor to never travel again.

As she turned to place the mugs on the table, she felt like someone punched her in the stomach. Both mugs fell from her hands and crashed to the floor, causing hot coffee and shattered ceramic to spread across the tile. She turned to Mickey. He had stopped talking in the middle of his sentence and stood there looking shocked.

"Mama!" Matthew cried as he ran into the kitchen wearing trousers and one sock. His eyes were bright with tears. Before he could run through the hot coffee and sharp ceramic, Martha scooped him up. Matthew's arms and legs wrapped tightly about her.

"It's okay, baby," she said in a soothing tone.

"I don't feel good. My chest hurts."

Martha was feeling the same way. There was a weight on her chest and she was finding it difficult to breathe. A deep pain seemed to pierce her but she couldn't think why.

"Rose," she heard Mickey whisper.

"What?" Martha asked in surprise.

"This has something to do with Rose."

After hearing his words, she found that the woman was also on her mind. But why? Rose was in a parallel world. What was going on?

"Daddy?"

Matthew's voice seemed to snap Mickey out of his trance. He pulled their son from Martha's arms. Martha hugged both of them, finding so much comfort in her small family.

"We'll call Sarah Jane when this is done," she told her husband. Mickey didn't reply. He simply nodded.

* * *

Amy pulled weeds from her sunflower garden. The sun was warm and she was at peace. Her book was coming along and Rory was happily working at the hospital tending to the sick and injured. While they both loved the Doctor and missed him dearly, they also loved their new life. She wouldn't trade it for the world.

Suddenly she felt her heart constrict and her stomach twist into knots. Her sight blurred as tears formed. Instantly she ran inside to call Rory but when she went to pick up the phone, it started to ring.

"Rory?" she said desperately into the receiver.

"Amy," Rory's voice said through the line. He sounded so relieved and she found she could breathe again.

"Something's wrong."

"I know. Everyone at the hospital is having break downs. It's a mad house."

"Then why aren't you attending them?" Amy asked even though she didn't want to get off the phone.

"Because I needed to hear your voice. And this doesn't feel normal. It's alien."

Amy quickly wiped away her tears. Why was she so sad? Why did she feel like her heart was going to be ripped out of her chest? The drastic shift in mood was not right.

"It's definitely alien," she agreed. Then she whispered, "Stay with me until it's over?"

"Of course."

They didn't talk. Amy heard the cries of those in the hospital but Rory stayed with her. It felt a little selfish and he was probably needed. But she thought she would die if he hung up on her now. She needed to hear his breathing and he seemed to need it to. If possible, her love for him grew just a bit more.

"Thank you, Rory. I love you."

"I love you too."

* * *

The stars twinkled in the night sky and Donna smiled as she looked at them. She was on the swing that Shaun had hung from the tree in the backyard. After they'd won the lottery, she and Shaun had decided to move to the country. She'd quit her job as a temp and Shaun began to pursue his dream as an artist. He wasn't very good but Donna loved him anyway.

There were some nights when she looked at the stars and was filled with happiness and joy. Other nights filled her with great sadness and a longing that she didn't understand. Her granddad had always stargazed with his little telescope. Maybe her love of the stars came from him. She didn't really care about them as a child but now, out in the country with the stars shining much brighter than in Chiswick, she loved them.

She let out a sigh and closed her eyes. At that moment, an image appeared in her mind's eye. A blonde woman stood on a cloudy beach holding hands with a man in a blue suit. The man was a little blurry but he looked a little familiar. The blonde was the one who demanded her attention though. A haunting melody sang in her mind and the blonde's appearance changed.

 _Rose_.

The name seemed to whisper on the wind. As she watched, the woman's appearance began to change. At first she was happy and healthy. Then her eyes grew darker, her hair was lanker, her body too thin. The man remained unfocused but a dark aura seemed to grow around him. Whatever she was seeing seemed to match the song in her mind.

She opened her eyes. The image disappeared but the song continued. She didn't know how she was hearing it but for some reason she didn't find it frightening. While she couldn't understand the words, she felt the song in her soul. It spoke of love and loss, of pain and sorrow. Rage wove its way through the words. A wolf howl seemed to echo through her soul. Donna didn't know what was going on but it didn't matter. She listened to it all.

* * *

One

"Grandfather!" Susan said, dropping her bag by the door.

"How was school today?" he asked.

"It's was okay. Mr. Chesterton gave me a ridiculous problem today that was impossible to solve," she told him, holding out the paper.

The Doctor looked at it and frowned, "You're right. D and E are required. You can't solve with only three dimensions." He threw the paper aside. "Ridiculous."

Susan gave him a brilliant smile, obviously happy that he agreed with her. It was so nice to see her smile despite the situation they were currently in.

Without warning, a song seemed to drift across his mind. It was a terrible, beautiful song. He turned back to Susan, "Do you hear that?"

"Yes," she said, walking to his side watching as he typed things into the console. "Where's it coming from?"

"That's what I'm trying to find out but I can't seem to pinpoint it," he paused. "It's very sad, isn't it? It pierces you."

Two

Jamie and Zoe sat on a sofa in the library and listened to the Doctor happily playing his recorder. They clapped and laughed at his enthusiastic performance. He danced around the room with ease as his music filled the air. The two companions were surprised when he suddenly stopped and ran from the room, the recorder left on the floor where it had fallen. They leapt from the sofa and ran after him and into the console room. When they found him, they watched in shock as he frantically ran around the room and back to the monitor.

"Doctor, what is it?" Jamie asked.

"It's the song! I heard this song before but I forgot it. How could I forget? It's such a tragic melody. I must find where it's coming from!"

"I don't hear anything," Zoe said, looking at Jamie for confirmation.

Jamie shrugged. "I don't either." He was surprised to discover that his mood had shifted drastically. He was no longer full of laughter. A sadness of unknown origin filled him. From the look on Zoe's face, she was feeling something similar.

The Doctor searched but, to his dismay, his TARDIS, his wonderful, brilliant TARDIS, could not find the origin. She could not explain to him why he forgot. He made a frustrated sound and closed his eyes. He would listen and then store this memory so he could remember after the song ended. He refused to forget again.

Three

He sat morosely in the console room, pity for himself and his situation running through him. The damn Time Lords. The damn, arrogant Time Lords. Rassilon, he hated them sometimes. How dare they leave him stranded here? How dare they take his memories! How could they do that to Jamie and Zoe? Those two didn't deserve what happened to them.

He jerked when a familiar song suddenly filled the air. He didn't bother looking for the source. It didn't matter anyway. He was stuck here so why even try to discover its origins? But as he sat there listening and feeling the sorrow wrap around his hearts, a thought suddenly occurred to him. He forgot every time the song ended but he'd heard it twice now. Whoever was sending it out to the universe was _also_ sending in through time.

But the Doctor didn't care. Not at the moment. Maybe later, when he remembered again, he would care and he would finally discover who it was or what was going on.

Four

"I want to learn," Leela told the Doctor.

"That sounds like a wonderful idea." the Doctor said to his companion. She still wore her preferred animal skins where she hid her deadly janis thorns. The woman was highly intelligent and he was thrilled to teach her more about the universe. "Next stop, the Morovanian Muesem. It-"

The Doctor stopped mid-sentence. It was back. The song was back. His previous self hadn't cared but he remembered thinking that it was broadcasting through time. That was the theory anyway.

"Doctor? What is it?"

"One moment," he said. He dug into his pocket and pulled out a handful of his favorite candies. "Here. Have a jelly baby. I have to look into something."

Leela took the jelly babies from his hand and watched him in confusion.

"Ha! It _is_ traveling through time as well as space. It's being sent through the Time Vortex! But how to track it? Maybe…"

The Doctor moved the TARDIS into the Vortex, hoping that being there would clear up the signal. Unfortunately that did nothing. He growled in frustration. He saw Leela look at him with a raised brow. Yes, growling was not something he usually did but he was starting to get very annoyed here.

The TARDIS suddenly landed. The Doctor, hoping that the ship had locked onto the source, burst out of the doors without bothering to check where they were. Leela ran into him when he stopped after only taking a few steps.

"Blast it!"

The TARDIS had brought them to the Museum. It didn't make sense. Why land when the Doctor hadn't even initiated the landing sequence? Was his TARDIS being influenced by the being broadcasting the song? Well, it didn't matter anymore. There was nothing else he could do at the moment. Next time he would remember this. Next time he would be one step closer to discovering the truth.

Five

The Doctor and Nyssa followed Tegan into the TARDIS. Both were extremely happy to have Tegan back in their company again. As Tegan began to explain her job and her eventual sacking, the Doctor moved the TARDIS into the Time Vortex. He smiled to himself as he listened to the girls' chatter.

Unsure of where to go next, the Doctor simply let the TARDIS drift. It was then that the song began. Trying not to be frantic about it, he calmly began to trace the source again. His previous self at been a bit more...enthusiastic...and nothing had come of it. He couldn't be rash in this search for answers.

It was the silence that caught his attention. He looked up to see Tegan and Nyssa staring at him with tears in their eyes. Unease stirred in him. He could continue looking or comfort his companions. Surely they'd been through enough already. Images of Adric crossed his mind. Decision made.

"It will fade," the Doctor told them. "Someone is sending out a telepathic song throughout the universe. This is the fifth time I've heard it but I can't find the origin. You can't hear it but you can certainly feel its effects."

"It's so terrible," Nyssa said with Tegan nodding in agreement.

"Yes it is. And one day I will find the one who is in such pain," the Doctor vowed.

Six

Peri was in her room. They'd had another quarrel but at this point in time, the Doctor didn't care. He knew she wished for his Fifth incarnation but there was nothing he could do about it. She would learn to live with it or she would leave. He didn't want her to leave. He liked and cared about her despite their now argumentative relationship.

As he sat there brooding, the all too familiar melody drifted through the air. He leapt up and started working on tracing the source. He threw the TARDIS into the Vortex. The ship shook as he piloted her a little more aggressively than usual. She hummed angrily in his mind but the Doctor ignored her. Maybe he wasn't being very nice to his trusted TARDIS but he had to find out what was going on.

Alarms blared and Peri stumbled into the room, calling out to him. He ignored her like he ignored the TARDIS's alarms. Sparks shot from the console and the Doctor reluctantly stopped his aggressive piloting. The shuddering stopped and the alarms disappeared. He'd have to check out the damages later.

He slumped to the floor, giving up once more. What was the point in searching anymore? Nothing ever came of it. Now he simply wanted it to stop showing up in his life. Would he have to deal with it until he died? Maybe it was time to give up searching for good.

Seven

Ace leaned against the console as the Doctor began the dematerialization sequence. They were both ready to get the hell off Terra Alpha. The revolution was done but the pink TARDIS was still at the forefront of the Doctor's mind. Pink!

"Well," Ace said casually, "that was interesting."

"I agree. The pink TARDIS was terrible," the Doctor replied and then gave her a wink.

Ace just sighed. She opened her mouth to reply with what would surely be a snarky comeback but something stopped her. The Doctor knew instantly why. The song had returned once more. Of course it had returned after their bizarre trip to a planet where unhappiness will get you incarcerated or executed. Life just worked like that.

The Doctor didn't want to explain the situation to Ace. He'd spent far too much time on trying to figure everything out and now it was time to accept the fact that he'd probably never know. He remembered when the song arose and forgot when it disappeared. None of his companions spoke to him of his odd behavior during those times so they seemed to forget as well.

Explaining everything to Ace only to have her forget would be pointless. Instead he held up his hand to stop her from speaking.

"I will explain in a moment," he lied.

Ace simply nodded and waited.

Eight

The Doctor sighed as he sank down to continue reading H. ' _The Time Machine_. He was disappointed that Grace didn't want to come with him but not everyone did. It wasn't the first denial and it wouldn't be the last. He didn't hold it against her. He would find someone to travel with again.

The gramophone skipped stopped without reason. He frowned at the old device, wondering what had caused that little malfunction. His answer came when the otherworldly music filled the air as it had done so many times before. He didn't bother to stand and search. Instead he listened as he had decided to do in his previous incarnation. One day he would discover the source. Time would tell as it always did.

Each time the song popped back up in his life, he was always surprised by its terrible beauty. Whoever was broadcasting it had a terribly broken heart. The words said it all. He wanted to find the being and comfort him. Or was it her? It felt more like a female. He wasn't sure why but there was a certainty in that thought. It didn't matter. He just wanted to help in some way.

Nine

How could Rose say no? She'd been so fantastic handling the Nestene Consciousness. But she'd said no and here he was, alone once more. During his time with her, the Time War and his memories had receded and his hearts had felt lighter. He had hoped that she would come travel with him. He wanted to feel that lightness again.

The Doctor never asked twice. If someone didn't want to come along, that was their choice. He wouldn't stoop to asking again. He paused at that thought. Was this Time Lord arrogance? Was he as bad as his people? He couldn't find that answer anymore.

In the distance he saw the iceberg that the lookouts did not. There was nothing he could do about it. This was a fixed point. All these humans had to die. Why was he here on this tragic day? It must be his mood. Only that would explain it. Now was the time he had to head back to the TARDIS. He had saved one family; that was as much as he could do. With a sigh he turned from the rail to head back to the only true home he'd ever known.

Then it happened. The untraceable song was back. It matched his mood perfectly, just as it had matched it when he'd been exiled to Earth. He'd long ago given up on finding it. There was nothing he could do. Now he simply listened to it when it reached him. The person broadcasting this song wanted it to be heard. She, because his instinct told him it was a she, wanted _him_ to hear it. Well, it was the least he could do.

Ten

The TARDIS hummed in his mind, a comforting gesture from his ship. The Doctor had given her a boost on the rift in Cardiff before heading to an uninhabited moon so both he and the TARDIS could recover. Becoming a paradox machine had been extremely painful for his TARDIS and the Doctor had felt it during his imprisonment. He would give them both a few days to recoup and then….

Then what? Back to the usual traveling? Back to destroying people's lives? Guilt gnawed at him. He'd completely ruined Martha. He'd peeked at her timeline and saw where she was likely to go next. It saddened him. When he'd first met Martha she was going to become a doctor, a healer. Now she would become a soldier. She would carry a gun and resort to violence when necessary. She would still become a doctor but that would no longer be her priority.

It took him a moment to register that it wasn't just his feelings bringing him down. It was the song that continued to haunt him through time. Of course it came now.

A sudden face was thrust to the front of his mind. Rose. But why? Why was he thinking about Rose?

The Doctor stilled, thinking hard while listening to lyrics of the song. It mentioned a wolf. There were only two wolves that he'd encountered in his lifetime: Fenric and Bad Wolf. If he was thinking about Rose already, that meant it had to be talking about Bad Wolf. So Rose was the one sending this terrible song to the universe? But how? Why? She was safe! He'd made sure she was safe and happy! And how the hell was she singing in Latin?

He ran to the lab and went to the cabinet where he kept the DNA samples from all his previous companions. Of course they didn't know this but it was a useful precaution.

Grabbing the right one, he rushed back to the console room and plugged the sample into the console. He moved the TARDIS into the Time Vortex and began his search. Maybe, with this secondary source leading him, he could find where the song was coming from.

His screen lit up and showed him the source. The Oodsphere. Rose Tyler was on the planet of the Ood and something dreadful had happened to her! He had to find her. He had to help her. He tried to find the time coordinates but the TARDIS couldn't find that information.

The Doctor slammed his hands down on the console. Of course he couldn't find her. The universe had never been that kind to him. All these years and he'd finally found who and where but he could do nothing about it.

Tears welled in his eyes as he listened. Putting a face to the singer was what he'd been searching for. But he'd never imagined it would be Rose. The Doctor fell onto the jump seat with one hand covering his eyes. The pain in he heard in the song constricted his chest and it took him a few minutes to realize that his respiratory bypass had kicked in.

He wanted the song to end. He wanted to forget again. Was it selfish? Yes. But knowing he could do nothing for Rose, knowing he couldn't find her or comfort her, tore him up inside. So he needed it to end. He needed to forget once more. He needed that blissful ignorance.

Eleven

The TARDIS doors were open and he was sitting on the edge with his legs dangling over and a slinky in his hands. He looked out at the horseshoe galaxy in the distance as he played with the original slinky he held. He'd gotten the slinky the same day it was released in 1945. Well, he'd taken one of the 400 before they actually went on sale and put some cash on the counter but who cares?

The song returned and this time the Doctor didn't have to search to find out who it was or where it was coming from. Now he knew everything. There would be no more forgetting. Rose's Song of Sorrow was branded onto his hearts now. The words that demanded his attention made sense as they never had before.

The Doctor stopped playing with the slinky and continued to sit there with his head bowed and his eyes closed. Though he'd heard it once in each regeneration, this time was more powerful than he had ever experienced. He hummed along with the melody, thinking about all the things he'd seen and experienced during his time in Rose's TARDIS. The song spoke of her imprisonment, her torture, the deaths of her family. It spoke of loneliness and helplessness. It spoke of rage.

Images played in his head as he remembered everything Rose had shown him, everything Rose had said, everything that Rose had done. The Valeyard's death weighed heavily on her heart. The song spoke of that as well. But broadcasting this out to the universe was Rose's first step in healing. The poison that had been trapped in her wounded heart was draining away as she poured her soul into every word.

He wouldn't try to return to the Oodsphere. He understood why Rose needed time alone and he would respect that. She would find him again one day and they would go from there. Time didn't end for Rose Tyler and the Doctor planned to be there for her until his end.

Twelve

The Doctor picked up the phone to call Rose. The song had started again. He thought he'd heard it for the last time but apparently not. He dialed the number but the phone refused to connect. His TARDIS was once again working against him.

"Will you always side with her?" he demanded of his ship.

The happy and slightly smug TARDIS just hummed in his mind. He scowled. He was an impressive scowler in this body. It had to be the eyebrows. But his scowl couldn't be seen by the person he wanted to scowl at.

He sighed. What else was there to do? He grabbed his guitar and plugged it into the amp. Taking in the m

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Latin is not fun. I commend anyone takes it as a class and understands it. I did my best with Google Translate. I really hope I did a good job with each Classic Who Doctor. I'm not all that familiar with them and I wanted to get their personalities correct.  
> Also, I didn't write for Clara because I just couldn't find a way to write it. C'est la vie.


	35. Chapter 35

"Sigma, I have a crazy idea," Rose said as she walked into the library of her TARDIS. Sigma was sitting on the sofa, reading a book Rose had no interest in.

"You have many ideas, Ms. Tyler. Most of them are crazy."

"Ha ha," Rose replied sarcastically, sticking out her tongue. "Do you want to hear my idea or not?"

"Please, do enlighten me," Sigma told her with a small bow. It was odd seeing one perform a bow in a sitting position. Sigma pulled it off quite well. He had picked up the ability to be sarcastic in his time with her. It made Rose smile every time.

"I want to go rescue the Ood on Krop Tor. The Doctor wasn't able to save them before the planet was sucked into the black hole. They were under the control of the Beast. They were forced to do things your kind would never willingly do. I can't stand the thought that their last moments are those of fear. I want to go rescue them and I believe I will need your help to do so."

Sigma was silent for a moment. Anxiety spiked within Rose. Would he tell her no? She wanted his help but she refused to give up on this mission. She was going to save those Ood whether he came with her or not. There was no stopping her.

"That is a very crazy idea," he said finally.

"I told you. You don't have to come but…" her voice trailed away.

"No, I don't have to come. But it would probably go more smoothly if I did. And you're going to go even if I don't."

"It's going to be dangerous."

"Naturally. I could die, we could be sucked into the black hole, we could run into the Doctor which would cause multiple issues, the list goes on."

"I'm so glad you can so easily put it into perspective," Rose said dryly. "Will you do it?"

Sigma stood, "Yes, Rose, I will come with you and save them."

Rose beamed. "Well then, we must figure out a plan so we have at least some chance of success."

* * *

The plan was more than crazy. It was absolutely, positively, completely insane. It was fraught with complications and the likelihood of successfully fulfilling their mission was not high. Still, Rose would not be dissuaded. She was bound and determined to do this thing. It felt like it was something she was meant to do.

The first complication was the Doctor. He couldn't see or even detect her TARDIS. The visibility issue was easily solved. The handy cloaking chameleon circuit was turned on. They would blend into the planet. It was the Doctor actually detecting another TARDIS in the area that was the problem. The only thing she could do was contact his TARDIS and ask politely to keep him ignorant. Unfortunately this meant she would have to be close enough to telepathically communicate with his ship. Sending a message was out of the question.

Slowly, over the course of a week, Sigma and Rose managed to work something out. She would put a Time Stop around the planet the instant the Doctor was out of range, Sigma would use the TARDIS to telepathically call the Ood while Rose focused on keeping the planet from succumbing to the pull of the black hole, then they would depart once everyone was on board. It was simple and anything more complicated was bound to go wrong.

"Let's get this show on the road," Rose said to Sigma.

Sigma nodded and Rose pulled the lever, sending them into the Time Vortex and towards Krop Tor.

The TARDIS did not want to land. It was understandable. The planet was creepy and deadly but they didn't have a choice. Rose gently guided her beloved ship and landed near the mine shaft. Sigma took over the controls while Rose focused on the Doctor's TARDIS.

_Please, do not let him see us._ Rose sent to his ship. She outlined what she was doing and his TARDIS happily agreed. If the Doctor did a scan, he would not detect their presence.

She stayed in contact with the ship to know when they were out of range. She sensed the time was coming so she looked to Sigma.

"Are you ready?"

He had set up the telepathy boost and had his hand on the switch. "Tell me when."

The Doctor was out of range and the planet was on the verge of being swallowed. Rose sucked in a deep breath and nodded. "Now."

The Time Stop surrounded the planet. Pain lanced its way through Rose's body. The black hole pulled at her, not caring that Time stood still for the moment. This black hole ate Time for breakfast and asked for more. She struggled to hold the planet in place. She clutched the console with white knuckled fingers as her knees hit the hard floor. Fire screamed its way through her veins. She couldn't see. She couldn't hear. She couldn't even scream. She was burning up from the inside. The well of power, her connection to the Time Vortex, was being drained away by the Eater with its endless appetite.

The only thing that kept her going was the thought of the Ood. She had made a promise to herself and she would not go back on that promise. She was going to save the poor creatures who had been left stranded. The Doctor may not have been able to save them but she would fucking do it. She was Rose Tyler and she'd be damned if she ever gave up.

Her power was fading. She could feel the planet start to inch ever closer to the Eater. She wasn't strong enough to combat its pull. In her mind's eye she could see the sphere of gold light that surround Krop Tor begin to fracture. In that moment she realized that she didn't want to die anymore. She wanted to live. She wanted to race against the starry skies once more. Life was worth living again. She had no chains dragging her down. Her past pain didn't define who she was and who she would become.

_I'm free at last_ , she thought and it felt truer than it ever had before. Slowly, a soothing darkness took her under, carrying the TARDIS's happy song along with it.

* * *

The first thought that came to Rose's mind when she woke was pain. She hurt _everywhere_. Even opening her eyes seemed to be a daunting task. She did it anyway. Sigma was standing in the doorway to her bedroom. She turned her head slightly and saw Bad Wolf curled up next to her. The wolf barely lifted her head.

"What happened?" Rose croaked.

"You fainted as soon as I sent the TARDIS into the Time Vortex. We carried you into this room. You and Bad Wolf have been in bed for the past three days," Sigma explained.

"Three days?" Rose repeated. She desperately wanted water, and a shower, and she really had to pee. "Well, did we save everyone?"

"Yes. All who still lived were saved and all have been introduced to the Mind. Do you need help?"

Rose's pride wanted her to say no. Her realistic part told her refusing would be a stupid idea. So she sighed and accepted Sigma's help to the bathroom where a toilet, a sink, and a shower awaited her.

"We did it," she said with a small smile. Joy leapt in her heart at their success.

"Yes, we did. Now, enough talking. Let's get you taken care of. The Elders would like to speak with you when you are fit enough."

"Ah. It's not anything bad is it?"

"I believe they wish to thank you. I thank you as well, Rose Tyler."

Rose winked, an action that took way too much effort at the moment. "Anytime, Sigma."

* * *

Rose sat on a lawn chair overlooking the Crystal Canyon, the snow glistening in the sun. Not far in the distance she could see the capital of the Oodsphere. The sun continued its slow movement overhead. According to her time-sense, it was a few hours past mid-day.

Sigma sat next to her in a lawn chair of his own. They often came to this cliff together, both finding peace in the beauty of the land. Sometimes they talked. Sometimes they stayed in a comfortable silence. Sigma had become the best friend Rose could ever have asked for. He'd kept her grounded. He'd been the support system she'd needed. His friendship had helped heal her heart. What remained was a jagged scar, sometimes painful or uncomfortable but not the agony it had once been.

"I could stay here forever," she said, breaking their three hour silence.

"You will be leaving soon," Sigma replied.

Rose turned and faced her friend with a frown. "This is my second home. I will always come back."

Amusement rolled across her mind. Sigma was laughing at her. "You are always welcome here but you will be leaving this planet soon."

"What makes you say that?" she asked tentatively.

"I am dying," Sigma replied simply.

Rose looked away, holding back the tears that suddenly welled in her eyes. She knew he was dying. She could see it, feel it. But she'd been doing all she could to _not_ see it. Losing Sigma seemed unimaginable. So much had happened to her in her life, couldn't she keep one good thing?

"I can save you," she said quietly.

"You wouldn't be saving me, Rose. The wheel continues to spin and you would be stopping the wheel for me. It would be selfish of you to keep me alive."

"Sigma!"

"You know this."

Rose crossed her arms like a toddler throwing a tantrum. Of course _she_ knew it but how did he?

"You're broadcasting everything you're feeling at the moment."

Shit. She had learned to build a strong mental shield but around Sigma she usually relaxed a little bit. Checking herself, Rose realized she had a tissue-thin shield that could break at the slightest nudge.

"I'm sorry," she told him. "It's just...the idea of living without you seems impossible. I don't want to be alone again."

"Rose, you knew this day would come." He reached over and grabbed her hand. "You won't be alone. You will have a life. You will find the Doctor. Do not allow yourself to succumb to self-pity. That is not you."

"No, it's not." She placed her other hand over his and looked him straight in the eyes. "Without you, I would still be lost. I cannot find the words to thank you enough. You know that, right?"

"Of course."

They stayed there, holding hands and looking into one another's eyes. Rose opened her mind to his, sharing her memories of their time together and how much she appreciated everything. Sometimes words can't capture feelings. She wanted him to know everything he meant to her. In return, Sigma opened his mind to hers and together they remembered. It was intimate in a non-romantic way. She doubted she could ever share a connection with another being and she didn't think she would want to again. This was enough.

* * *

Sigma died one month later. Rose was by his side when his heart stopped pumped and his chest refused to rise. His soul was gone and all that remained was his shell. Tears burned their way down her cheeks but sobs did not wrack her as she had expected.

It was a perfect day for his Passing ceremony. She helped the Ood carry him to the funeral pyre and touched the torch to the wood he lay on. The fire greedily attacked the wood and soon Sigma's body was a simple shadow in the dancing Ood who knew him best stood in a line and clasped hands. Rose joined them as Bad Wolf appeared next to her.

They sang.

They sang the Song of Life. It spoke of his years as a slave, his time assisting the Doctor, his time with Rose. His life was sent to the Mind of the Ood to forever be remembered.

Rose left with the others but paused outside the gates. A storm was coming but it would not hit until Sigma's body became ash. So she stood with Bad Wolf at her side, watching as he disappeared. When she couldn't see him anymore, she walked straight to her TARDIS. Sigma had been right. It was time to leave.

She brushed the Mind and sent her goodbyes. They echoed back to her and she smiled sadly. She had a crazy idea of where she would do go next. She'd talked it over with Sigma about a year before he died.

" _There are more Ood out there that are enslaved?" Rose asked after their most recent trip. They'd found out about an Ood still enslaved to a wealthy man. Rose had kindly asked him to release the Ood. He declined. She threatened him. He had been quite happy to surrender him to her after that._

" _Sadly, yes. Many were unhappy about losing my people as slaves. It's illegal now but it doesn't stop them," Sigma said._

" _Then I'm going to find them all. You can come with me. We will rescue every Ood in the universe."_

Rose planned to follow through with her promise. There were those out there who needed her and she was going to do her damnedest to help them. If she ran into the Doctor along the way...well, she'd cross that bridge when she came to it.

The thought of the Doctor brought an idea to mind and a smile to her face. She went to the controls and sent a message to the Doctor.

* * *

The Doctor landed on a moon with a marketplace. He was looking for a particular part for the TARDIS and he was hoping this place would have it. As the TARDIS landed, an alert sounded, signalling that he had received a message.

_See you around, Doctor._

The message's signature was that of a wolf print with a small, blooming rose in its center pad. He couldn't help but smile.


	36. Chapter 36

The Doctor flopped back on his bed still fully clothed. He didn't have it in him to change. He'd just said goodbye to another friend and companion. Sure, it was wonderful for Tara to be reunited her childhood love again. He knew how painful it is to think, to _know_ , that you'll never see a loved one again. But once again he was alone.

Rose's message had meant something, a sign that she was traveling in her TARDIS. So why hadn't she contacted him? Was she actively avoiding him? The knowledge that she was out there yet out of reach hurt. He'd even visited the Oodsphere to get an idea of where she was planning to go. The fact that he could land told him that she was gone. The Ood, while gracious as ever, could not help him. Rose had left with a hasty goodbye after Ood Sigma's death without telling them her future destinations.

He closed his eyes for a moment and when he opened them he was no longer staring at his bedroom ceiling. Gallifrey, in all its splendor, spread out before him. He felt a gentle breeze brush across his skin and heard the music coming from the silver trees. At the bottom of the hill was Rose, her bare feet standing at the edge of the placid lake.

Her braided hair was much longer than he'd ever seen, falling just below her shoulder blades. She looked much healthier than the last time he saw her. The golden aura surrounding her was warm and inviting but he didn't step forward. He felt rooted to the spot.

"Are you just going to stand there and stare or are you going to join me?" she called from over her shoulder.

Her voice brought the Doctor back to life. He walked slowly, cautiously, unsure of what would come next. She didn't speak again until he was standing by her side. A smile graced her face and for the first time the Doctor could see it reached her eyes.

"Hello, Doctor."

"Why didn't you contact me sooner?" the Doctor blurted.

Rose laughed and the sound echoed across the lake. It was infectious but the Doctor kept the scowl on his face. Rose looked at him, eyes dancing.

"It wasn't time."

"According to…?" he prompted.

"Time, of course." She turned to face him fully. She was smiling, happier than he'd seen her since he'd left her on that beach all those years ago. None of the pain he'd seen before she'd sent him away could be seen. He almost couldn't believe his eyes.

"I've missed you, Rose. How long has it been since you sent me away?"

She frowned, obviously thinking. "Uh, I think I spent around 50ish years with the Ood. I think I left them about 20ish years ago. It blurs a bit. I've been hopping back and forth to the planet so it gets confusing and keeping track doesn't seem important," she said with a shrug before turning back to face the water.

"It's been 70 years?"

"Time flies when you're having fun."

"It hasn't flown by for me," he grumbled.

Rose bumped her shoulder against him. "Don't be like that. I didn't stay away to hurt you. I needed time. And I've been busy. I'm on a mission you see."

"Oh? Doing what?"

"Well, there are many Ood out there who are still enslaved. You know humans; they don't like to give up free labor. So I've decided that I'm going to rescue them all. I saved the Ood on Krop Tor."

"Are you insane? You could have-"

Rose waved her hand airily. "I know I know. It was dangerous and difficult but we survived. I owe the Ood so much. I have to do this for them."

"Rose Tyler, you never cease to amaze me."

Rose gave a small curtsy before laughing. "Oh! I want you to meet someone." She turned and raced up the hill, leaving the Doctor running to follow her. When they reached the top, a boy of about 12 stood there, his arms crossed and frowning. "This is Caden."

"Why didn't you call me sooner?" he whined.

"It's not my fault you wouldn't fall asleep. Caden, meet the Doctor. Doctor, this is Caden."

"Hello, I'm Caden, Rose's prisoner."

Rose whacked him on the back of his head with a hand. "Brat." She turned to the Doctor. "I found this little rat while I was tracking down an Ood. He didn't have a name so I gave him one."

_Caden means "fighter" or "spirit of battle" in Welsh._ The Doctor sent to Rose telepathically.

_And "friend" or "companion" in Arabic. I had my reasons for choosing it._

"It's nice to meet you, Caden. I'm the Doctor."

"I know all about you. Rose has told me all kinds of stories." He spun around, taking in his surroundings. "This is Gallifrey?"

"Yes," the Doctor said. "This is my home."

Caden listened with interest as the Doctor pointed out certain landmarks and explained some of the history of the Time Lords. Caden was fascinated. He was also very intelligent. He had life inside him, something that obviously drew Rose to him. Rose had chosen a perfect name for the boy.

"Okay, time to go," Rose told him.

"Why? I want to stay."

"You haven't finished your homework. You'll see the Doctor again. Run along now." She made a shooing motion. Caden scowled before disappearing.

The Doctor couldn't help but laugh. Rose joined his laughter with her own. Then she grabbed his hand and pulled him down the hill and straight into the lake. Once the shock wore off, the Doctor decided to express his feelings by sending a splash of water into Rose's face. She sputtered and wiped her eyes before sending a splash of her own in his direction.

They splashed and played like two children with no worries in the universe. When they grew tired, they simply stood, their bodies mere inches from each other. The Doctor looked into Rose's eyes and she looked into his. So much can be read from the eyes of any person. At the moment, only happiness seemed written in Rose's.

Without warning, both the Doctor and Rose lunged for each other. Rose's lips crashed against his. He wrapped his arms around her body, bringing her closer. The kiss was unlike any he'd experience in his long lifetime. This was breathing for the first time. This was finding color in a world of black and white. This was coming home. This was what had been missing for so long. They only broke when Rose needed air. She didn't come equipped with a respiratory bypass.

"I want you, Doctor," she said with ragged breath.

It was all he needed to hear. He picked her up and carried her from the water. As soon as his feet touched grass, their clothes dried. He set her down gently on the grass. She laid back with her arms spread; an obvious invitation. Uncontrollable need filled him and so he took her up on her offer.

They were kissing again. They couldn't get enough. Hands explored bodies, touching sensitive places, teasing. The Doctor didn't know how their clothes disappeared but he didn't care. All he cared about was the feel of Rose beneath him. She was a light in the darkness. The sun in the night sky. There were no more leashes. He couldn't contain himself anymore. He _wouldn't_ contain himself anymore. This was everything he had dreamed of and more.

A brush against his mind made him pause. She was asking him to open up, to let her in. Could he do it? Could he show her his vulnerability? But oh how he wanted that contact. He wanted the connection he no longer had. He wanted to feel whole again. When he opened his mind, she opened hers to him. More feelings flowed through him but the one he felt most was her love. She loved him with all that she was. Even during her imprisonment, during the most excruciating period of her life, she'd still loved him. Oh, she'd hated him but it was the hate that comes from loving someone so much.

Now her heart, with it's painful scars, was no longer filled with hate. There was no longer blame for what happened. She'd forgiven him. It was something he couldn't seem to comprehend. Her immortal body was nothing compared to her human heart. And he loved that heart.

The Doctor had been with a woman before. He knew what sex was. He knew what it felt like, though not in this body. But he'd never truly understood what it could be. This was not just sex. This was love. This was surrender. This was a connection that couldn't be broken.

Their bodies joined together, moving in rhythm. Her warmth touched him and in that moment, the moment when they soared higher than anything and two bodies became one, he felt something fall back into place. The broken piece of his hearts, the one that had splintered away when Rose had gone, had returned. It was whole again. _He_ was whole again.

"I love you," Rose said when their bodies finally separated. Her words were backed by the feelings that flowed through their mental bond.

"And I love you, Rose."

Rose sat up and looked down on him. Her braid had come undone causing her hair to spill around her face. The glow that never seemed to disappear made her look even more radiant. She was simply beautiful.

She leaned down and placed a kiss to his forehead. He felt a flash of warmth before it faded. He frowned.

"What are you doing?"

"I am removing my mark." Then she moved to press her lips to the handprint still branded on his chest but he stopped her.

"I don't want to lose this one," he told her. It was a mark that connected him to her. He didn't want to lose that connection.

"This mark was given out of anger and cruelty. I don't want that on your body."

She pressed her lips to the mark. The Doctor watched at the handprint and the gold slashes that radiated from it disappear. Once more his chest was smooth and uninterrupted. He was surprised by how much he'd wanted to keep that symbol on his chest. It was a reminder of what could happen through careless decisions.

"It was not a careless decision. You did what you thought was best. I no longer blame you. I have forgiven you. I hope that you have forgiven me," Rose said, obviously reading his thoughts.

"There was nothing to forgive. I wasn't angry at what you did. I just wish I could have spared you that time."

"If I were to go back, I don't think I would change it. Yes, it was terrible. There are truly no words to describe the horror of it all. But it has also shaped me. I was broken but look at me now. I am whole once more and I am stronger than I have ever been. And now I am happy. I am happier than I've ever been."

"You are one amazing woman, Rose Tyler."

"Of course I am," she laughed. Then she sobered and looked down at him. "I want to give you a gift, a different reminder."

"Oh?"

She pressed her lips over one of his hearts. "This heart belongs to me," she whispered. Then she moved to his other heart. "And this heart belongs to me."

Warmth spread through him, a heat that filled his body. There was no pain in this heat. It was the power of love that flowed through him. When he sat up, he looked at the two places Rose had kissed. Each one had a small blooming rose etched in gold. It was delicate and beautiful, nothing like the mark that had been there before. This was a sign of love, not anger.

"You're right. These hearts do belong to you."

And then there were no more words. No words were needed in their passion. Once more they made love under the suns of his planet, the wind dancing around them.

A while later, the Doctor sighed. "I don't want this to end. I don't want to wake up and it all be a dream."

"This isn't a dream, Doctor," Rose said, then she paused. "Well, it's kind of a dream but not really."

"I want to wake with you in my arms."

"I know. But it's time to wake up. We will see each other again."

The Doctor grabbed Rose and pulled her close, "Please don't go," he whispered into her hair.

"I'll always be with you. I love you, Doctor," she pulled back to look at him and winked. "See you around."

The Doctor opened his eyes and found himself staring at his bedroom ceiling. Sadness grabbed his hearts and seemed to squeeze. That's when he noticed that the TARDIS was flying. It wasn't supposed to be flying seeing as he wasn't in the console room. Slightly panicked, he ran to the room just as his ship landed. He frowned, wondering what was going on.

The doors opened of their own accord, inviting the Doctor to step outside. Curious but cautious, the Doctor stepped outside into brilliant sunlight. Sand crunched under his feet and he looked out at a frozen wave of water. He was on Woman Wept. Standing ten feet away from him was a woman with golden hair and a brilliant smile.

The Doctor ran with everything he had and scooped Rose up into his arms. He couldn't believe that this was real. It couldn't possibly be real. But his hearts were telling him it was. She smelled of strawberries, vanilla, and Time.

"I told you I'd see you around," she said, placing a firm kiss on his lips.

"That you did, you ridiculous girl." The Doctor let Rose's feet touch the ground but he didn't release her. It wasn't a dream.

Rose beamed up at him, sending her love through their newly formed mental connection.

"Show me the stars, Doctor."

The Doctor grabbed Rose Tyler's hand and together they ran.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for making it to the end! I really appreciate it. I've written a one-shot that follows this story called, "The Wolf's Goodbye." Check it out!  
> 

**Author's Note:**

> This work hasn't been beta'd. Eventually I'm going to do a rewrite but I haven't gotten around to it yet.


End file.
